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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Born in the  70s

Groups are a place to connect with others you have something in common with. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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Members: 609
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Comment by AML on June 24, 2018 at 5:56pm

jpurpleshoes, I am truly sorry for your loss.  Yes, grief is so exhausting, and with two preschoolers to care for, even more so.  I lost my husband suddenly almost 8 months ago.  You are not alone.  I hope and pray you find the support you need right now.  Aside from searching for support groups in your area, your doctor may have suggestions for support groups for you and your children.  I finally went to my doctor and they were helpful in providing me with a list of support groups and therapists.  When my husband passed away, I, too, felt strongly that I needed to connect with other younger widows.  I found very little in my area.  Besides this, if you are on facebook, there are some pages you might find helpful in following-wishing you peace and comfort tonight-Amy

Comment by Allan_sch on June 24, 2018 at 5:35pm

Do you have a good church? I feel for you, sorry

Comment by jpurpleshoes on June 24, 2018 at 5:11pm

I'm new to this sight.  I lost my husband April 12th.  I have 3 -1/2 year old twin boys.  I need to talk with other widowers who are going through something similar.  It has been very hard.  I'm exhausted all the time.  Is this normal to be so tired?  It still doesn't seem real sometimes that he is gone.  I have lost grandparents, my dad died when I was 9 months old, so I never knew him but I have never gone through this kind of grief.  I appreciate any support or advice.  I really just need a safe place to talk.  I stay home with the boys and my only social contact is my mother.  I don't have too many friends like I would like to have.  I would like to attend a grief support group but don't know when I will have the time with the boys.  My mom is the only one that helps out with them.  

Comment by Rollercoaster on June 22, 2018 at 10:36am

I have done it all. It has been 6 yrs for me. I would not have survived without counceling. I had 4 kids 3-12 yrs old when my husband died at 44 yrs old. We went to family grief camp the first summer. Kids then attended camp Erin the following summer. Both were wonderful! The kids felt they were no longer alone and the only one without a parent on earth.

Take the support you can have as it is a challenge to raise kids alone. It takes a community.

I also did individual counceling on and off for each of my children through the years as grief changes as they mature. We also had in-home therapy as well. 

Comment by Noni5 on June 18, 2018 at 6:22am

This time of year is hard for me, my husband passed almost three years ago.  Like some of you when he found out he had Leukemia it was too late to really fight.  He spent almost two months in the hospital, I stayed all the time, slept in a recliner in his room and then the last week he was home on hospice.  I am still struggling, some days are better than others.  I see a grief counselor once a week, I am desperately trying to find the new me and new normal.  I have three kids two still at home 28, 22 and 16. 

 

Comment by Hacochbe on June 16, 2018 at 4:35pm

Yes write in the comments. Sorry you've found yourself here. There's a more active Australian Facebook page for widows and widowers maybe look into that. Its a closed group so only members see posts. I find its a great place to vent and say what your thinking as we are all in the same boat. I also have 4 children but 3 older 23, 18,16 and 7. My eldest and youngest are in counselling, my middle two not interested at this stage. I also see someone. My hubby passed just over 4 moths ago. Hugs to you x

Comment by Luv4Z on June 16, 2018 at 2:59pm

Am I supposed to write in comments or send messages to group to communicate within chosen groups?? Very new. Lost Husband age 39.  2 weeks ago .  We have 4 kiddos im a mess doesn’t look like im alone.this is horrible and I cant even figure this site out. Need to connect somehow to others . Im planning for family grief counseling too ,anyone done that???

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on May 16, 2018 at 6:53am

Why is it that just when I think I'm doing pretty good...well, suddenly I'm NOT.  Last night was the first time I cried, I'd been holding back the tears for 2 days.  Last night was the first time in months I needed to take something to help me sleep.  There are so many other factors aside from the most immediate loss.  The secondary grief is normally what gets me but for the past few days, it's just been the plain old missing Jerry grief.  Half denial, half anger, and all anguish. 

I'm glad for him, that he went suddenly.   I just wish everything that needed to be said was said.  One little thing to clear up, one small reassurance, one more I love you.  It's all I needed to be at peace and I didn't get that.  It makes me angry, sad and guilt-riddled.  For what?  I have no reason to feel any of those things.  

I am ready for the NEW normal so show up.  I'm tired of yo-yo-ing around, so if I feel that way then why can't I put a stop to my own emotional upheaval? 

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on May 4, 2018 at 3:23am

Dani, Hi I'm sorry you're here.  I know it's exhausting I have 3 children to teens still living at home.  I'm at 5 months out and hate everything about life right now, however.....  I refuse to accept it as a new normal.  I keep myself (or try too) thinking that THIS is not the new normal.  The NEW normal hasn't got here yet.  Hang in there Dani.

Comment by Dani on May 3, 2018 at 6:10pm

Hi Hacochbe.  I'm sorry for your loss.  My husband was stage 4 when they found it and he was too weak and it was too aggressive to fight.  He was on hospice at home for his last month or so and I was his caregiver as well.  It was so hard watching him die.  I am planning to return to work in a few weeks and I haven't been since Sept when my son was born.  We worked at the same place, so there are so many memories there as well.  It does truly suck.

 

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