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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Remarried After Loss

Have you found your "Chapter Two"? Here's a place for those who have remarried or are in a new committed relationship to get acquainted and discuss concerns or issues - and maybe even answer questions for those who are just considering remarriage.

Your group Greeter is Doug.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

Members: 50
Latest Activity: Jun 18

Discussion Forum

Re-marrying after the death of your spouse is a good thing

Started by Don Jun 18. 0 Replies

God realized that Adam was lonely and that man was not meant to live alone.  so God created Eve from Adam. People who remarry  happily live longer than those who sit and pine.Continue

Kids - What do you tell them when we start dating ?

Started by Doug02122014 Dec 31, 2017. 0 Replies

The following is a summary of a lady's question in another Internet grief support group with my response. I’ve been spending time with a guy our family has known for some time.  Up until now we have…Continue

Tags: loss, after, dating, and, Kids

Dealing with the fear of losing a 2nd. or 3rd. spouse .

Started by Doug02122014. Last reply by Doug02122014 Dec 1, 2017. 7 Replies

Ok, how many of us have been down the road of "I'm not dating / remarring because I don't want to go through another loss of a spouse"?I have said all that, but the urge to continue living and moving…Continue

Wedding planning for Volume Two

Started by JHclecce. Last reply by Maria Louisa Nov 18, 2017. 5 Replies

I am finding that wedding planning is becoming VEEY difficult. I see these adorable ideas and now look at them through a widows eyes. For example instead of a guestbook there were empty bottles…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Damianino! on February 11, 2016 at 8:23am

Aloha, members,

I guess technically I am a member since I have dated twice since my loss (21 March2014) even though I am in a lot of quandary how I will eventually get hitched...  :-(  I am ready and I know I am ready but I guess I have not yet hit on the right partner...i.e. still waiting for some level of chemistry to spark the potential inferno!  Initially after staying alone for a while I began to be  comfortable with living alone even though the loneliness was crushing.  I think there is a bit of some fear as well... fear of what I am yet to decipher.  But all points considered, I am looking willing and ready...

Comment by Doug02122014 on February 10, 2016 at 7:18pm
lpow,

I was a long-term caregiver & typically we as a group tend to get back out there quicker. With that said I went out on my 1st. date about 3 months after loss and the only reason I did was to get family off my back. I was one of those people who said that I was never going to date again. I said I was too broken and had too much baggage for anyone to give me the time of day. Then one night I was talking to another Widville member on the phone and it occurred to me that I didn't want to remain alone the rest of my life.

I will say that after the first date I got hit with a lot of grief. I felt like I had cheated on my late wife Darlene. Then again when I ended the relationship I got knocked back to square one in grief feeling like I had just lost my wife all over. No winning in grief.
Comment by Doug02122014 on February 10, 2016 at 7:05pm
Don,
Yes it is permissible to reveal you want to remarry here. In fact I find it inspirational given your age. I hear from too many young people that Oh, I'm 40-something, I'm 50-something, etc., etc. and all the excuses of why they shouldn't remarry. Funny thing is some of these people who use to tell me they were too old are members of this group. You are never too old or too broken to find love again.

I'm glad you mentioned that you are on Match.com because I am on Christian Mingle & I need to get that account closed out now that I'm remarried.

Crazy thing about my Christian Mingle profile:

My (new) wife Tamela saw my profile and out of frustration with others dismissed me thinking I wouldn't give her the time of day. Then 2-weeks later mutual friends of ours set us up on a blind date. We lived 600 miles apart.
Comment by Lostwithoutyou<3 on February 9, 2016 at 5:12pm
Just curious? How long did it take for everyone to date someone after your loss?
Comment by Don on February 8, 2016 at 10:44am

Well this  is a very interesting group.    Is it permissible to reveal that I want to remarry?   I'm 89,  healthy, active and adaptable.   Don't like living alone and looking for a partner to go the distance with.    I can be seen on MATCH.com

Comment by Doug02122014 on December 26, 2015 at 4:58pm
mariner (Andrew),

Congratulations,

I can't wait to hear your story! This is awesome news.
Comment by mariner (Andrew) on December 25, 2015 at 11:56pm
Love and blessings to all. My loss was in March. I got engaged last night to a wonderful lady whom I have known for 6 years and who conveniently lives in my condo building. I will provide more details on my story later.
Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on December 1, 2015 at 12:49pm

Hey Doug, I haven't been on in awhile as I have been dealing with health issues.  But I am surprisingly in a relationship.  Fortunately for me, he is also widowed, so he kinda "gets it" if you know what I mean. I still miss and love my husband, but I realize that doesn't mean I can't love someone else, too. It's complicated, but can be done.

Comment by my roses on November 16, 2015 at 5:10am

My Roses

Hi Doug that is a good idea... as I think we can still go on learning about relationships.  As  I have been involved in helping quite a few men both divorcedand widowed.... I  have seen how difficult it can be..... and we can make mistakes.   Congratulations  on  your marriage in September.

Did not know that you had  been  ' wedded" yet, although I knew that you had a new partner - I am so glad for you.  I think that the way you met can be very good... as in the past it was family and friends who introduced  'lovers' to each other.... and they had a chaperone with them... who could convey  comments - if  either of them felt it was difficult.

I have been dating  on and off  since January this year.... but have had some painful aspects.  I still love my husband so much,,,,, but I know that one can

love two people.  The one you lost and the one you have found.  I have met someone about 6 mths ago who I like a lot and we are getting on  quite well.  Both of us look much better since we had companionship - it obviously shows ... as there have been comments from others about how much better I look now.  My friend also looks much happier -  after a very difficult  journey which  was  affecting his health.  We have to travel  quite a bit to get to see each other.  But  there is a sense of peacefulness. We have quite a lot in common, and  he understands about  the sexual values which others I met did not.  In fact they  behaved very badly and  it was sad and hurtful.    We are just taking it day by day and enjoy what I call Happiness Days.

The days that help to heal the wounds of grief and the  stress  caused by those who do not understand  our pain.  So I think this group is going to be a very interesting one... its the best place to talk and discuss that I have found online or anywhere.  Will be great to hear the new Love stories and still remember the Love of our Lives.  It was Jewish professor  who had been researching  Love of Life marriage and also  found we could love 2 people at the same time.    I had a chat with him ( he lives in Israel) about a year ago.   

Would love to see a wedding photo of you both.   

Blessings  and lots of good wishes

Comment by Damianino! on November 7, 2015 at 12:21pm
Doug you are simply awesome. Due to the mega support I gotvfrom WV when I lost Joan 21March 2014 in a society that expects you to he a man, WV was a saving grace. I there and then pledged to be a member for life...no matter what I may do after loss, I would always be a member. Now you have taken that kinda membership to the next level by creating just the perfect group. I have dated a couple of times and just started another relationship. Its still too early to know how it will end. Doug, you are an inspiration. Keep rising.
 

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