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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2012

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Members: 579
Latest Activity: Jul 10

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Comment by AlanRRT on April 22, 2012 at 12:09pm

Carol,

Thanks, that picture was taken in 2007 on our cruise to Mexico.  Not just a three day, bunch of drunk 20 somethings throwing up over the rail Mexico cruise, but 8 days to Acapulco.  It was such a wonderful time.  The hardest part of this widowhood is that the good times in life, to me, are about who we have to share them with, and now I've lost that.

Forgive me for rambling, but I seem to do a lot of that lately.

Alan

Comment by Suz on April 22, 2012 at 11:49am

Alan, that is such a sweet picture.

Hugs,

Suz

Comment by Suz on April 22, 2012 at 11:47am

No, I know you two are extra special. I remember having some respiratory thing and they were not my favorites!!!! My sil was not wonderful, either...left my brother to raise the two sons alone while she went out and made...$13 million. Can you imagine? He raised the boys. He is a sweet person. Never remarried. She remarried one of the docs and lives in an enormous house on a lake. She bought the house next door as a guesthouse for the boys. They won't stay there. Their allegiance is to their dad. Hooray!

Day is ok. Friend is coming over to take me to local library and look at a flower plot in honor of Jud. Katie bring Vietnamese for dinner. It is just the being here without Jud. The day is rather dreary outside. Just the loneliest feeling in the house...the absence of presence.

Comment by Ccdague on April 22, 2012 at 11:34am
Suz....
Not every RT is wonderful like Alan and I are!
Hope you're having a good day....
Comment by Suz on April 22, 2012 at 8:56am

I had a sil who was an RT...started a business in KC for sleep studies and sold it for millions! Then divorced my brother.

Comment by Ccdague on April 22, 2012 at 8:47am
Alan...
Our paths crossed for a reason.......I hope this group helps us both get to a place of peace. I was with Denny for 40 years including the time we spent together in RT school. I watched him suffer a slow and painful death for the past 7 months. I was finally able to keep my promise....no more pain.
Message me if you need to. I work for Kindred Healthcare....national resource sales director for the Hospital Division
Comment by AlanRRT on April 22, 2012 at 8:37am

Hi Carol,

Thanks for the nice message.  Odd that we're both respiratory therapists, and lost our spouses the same day.  To say that our love was close is an understatment.  We understood each other, supported each other, and had a love that I didn't know existed until I met her.  I do miss her terribly.

Feel free to write me at any time.

Alan

Comment by Ccdague on April 22, 2012 at 7:53am
Hi Alan....I am carol....I lost my husband on March 22 also. I believe that when our dreams are as vivid as your was....that your love was close......messaging?.....perhaps....we have to be open to the messages. This is the most difficult journey that we never choose....we have so much support here.
Hugs....

PS....?rrt...respiratory therapist? Me too.
Comment by AlanRRT on April 22, 2012 at 5:57am

A couple nights ago, I had a dream that I came home and Elaine had sold our house without telling me, got us an apartment, and I had to do the moving by myself, we didn't have enough to pay a mover.  I asked her where the apartment is, she just giggled, and I got mad, the madder I got, the more she giggle, the more  she giggled, the madder I got, and so on.  When I woke up, I thought the dream was about her moving on to a new place, but as I thought about it, she was telling me that I need to move on to a new place in my life, and nobody can tell me how to get there, I have to figure it out for myself.  Elaine was beautiful, but in the dream, she was young and gorgeous.  Maybe it was her coming to me in this dream, and she was young to let me know that she is all right where she is.

I don't put a lot of faith in dreams, but I think that maybe the departed can communicate with us that way.  If so, she had a beautiful message for me.

Comment by AlanRRT on April 22, 2012 at 5:34am

Hi Allanah,

Welcome to the club that nobody wants to join.  I'm not much farther into this journey than you are, I lost my Elaine on March 22.  it's good that you're reaching out for some help, this site is one of many tools to use for your healing.

Alan

P.S. Nice name.  :-)

 

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