Widowed in 2012

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Comment by Mford4 (Marlene) on April 17, 2013 at 7:01am

Adrift, just know that behind you is this community--understanding, hugging, and knowing just what you are feeling because we are all there with you.  Be gentle on yourself.  Marlene

Comment by Catx on April 17, 2013 at 4:50am

Huge hugs ((((adrift)))) for you on this very difficult day.  I will reach the four month mark on Sunday and am dreading it.  I can´t begin to conceive how I will cope with the end of the first year.  Stay strong ... breathe, drink water and eat something.

Comment by adrift on April 17, 2013 at 2:40am

Today at 7:21 pm will be one year for me. I am a mess and can barely write this. Please pray for me to survive this horrible day . Thanks everyone , Jan

Comment by Su on April 16, 2013 at 11:34am

Marlene, Nicely said. I can use these wise words in my life. I'm headed off on a trip with RVing Women, but decided to go several days early. My granddaughter is in a track meet in the same area, so I'll be there a couple of days by myself. Also, I've only met these women once before. So we will see how it goes. I'm a bit tense. 

Comment by Karen on April 16, 2013 at 9:02am

Thanks, everyone.  Yes, it was probably pretty risky what I did - especially buying the house without seeing it in person.  I did have my parents come by with the realtor and check it and the neighborhood out, but I never saw the house myself until the walk-through the morning of closing.  LOL  It was, is and continues to be just what I wanted and needed. 

I was so afraid in my NC house - out in the middle of nowhere, pitch black, no neighbors to speak of (or certainly no neighbors that cared).  Hell, I could have been dead in that house for a week, and unless someone noticed that I wasn't at the barn and sent the sheriff, no one would know.  Now, my next-door neighbor is a single woman, and we met last night and chatted for a long time, and we'll look out for each other. 

When Dana got sick and went into the hospital, I thought my life was over.  I thought the future was gone, and for the most part, it was.  But after two weeks of being seriously, physically ill, totally depressed and non-stop crying, I figured I had to do something.  If for no other reason than my animals depended on me.

It is almost 14 months for me, and it has been a looong haul with almost no support from "friends" or family.  But now, I feel much better.  It certainly is not all roses, and it has been so much work, but it was really, really necessary.

I wish everyone peace and eventual happiness, and I thank you all for your support.  Karen

Comment by Diane on April 16, 2013 at 8:28am

Amen Marlene!  And that goes so well with Karen't post.  It is so true that we are not alone, we have ourselves.  We can learn to trust ourselves, our gut and if we make a wrong decision, So What!  We're smart enough to recalculate and move on.  Life is for living, not being scared of every single turn without my partner.  Though there is NO way I could have thought this way a year ago.  I am 14 mos from the day my dear husband suddenly died.

Karen, congratulations!  What a huge move.  I am contemplating selling the home my husband built 26 years ago and lovingly cared for.  It's 3000 square feet with 2.5 acres.  It was a beautiful place to raise our kids and live together as they moved out, but it is ridiculously too much to live in by myself.  I couldn't even think about it last summer without gasping for air and crying my eyes out.  I am thinking it might be time.  Your post inspires me, I CAN do it.  thank you!

Comment by telechick on April 16, 2013 at 6:54am

Congratulations, Karen! so glad to hear that the move went well and that you're happy with the new place.  Onward and upward!

Comment by Catx on April 16, 2013 at 6:40am

Well done, Karen!  What a potentially risky thing to do, buying "sight unseen", but I am delighted that it has turned out to be so right for you.  I wish you many happy years in your new home.

Marlene, your post is wonderful and uplifting too. Another woman with great attitude.

My sexy boy and I always used to say that "all things are possible" and while I don´t, personally, have much sense of that at the moment, your two posts show me that some day I may be able to look at life like that again.

Thank you villagers for giving me a boost today - all boosts are very gratefully received :)

Lori and Dusty, I am sorry that you are both having such hard days.  I hope that the it gets a little easier for each of you in the coming hours.

I went away for 3 weeks, back to Ireland where I come from, and come home to our house in Portugal yesterday evening.  I was dreading it, I cried buckets with my Irish friend when she left me to Dublin Airport.  Then was met by two friends at the airport in Portugal.  Was delaying going to our bed last night, but slept well when I did.  Have been thinking a lot about moving too.  Almost four months for me now and lots of people say that it is too soon, and maybe they are right, but I´m still thinking!!

Hugs and peace to all here today.

Comment by Dusty on April 16, 2013 at 6:18am

My LOVE is part of me and will always be...he taught me so much, how to drive, how to love, how to laugh, how to share, how to have fun, how to make it through tough times and how to be best friends...you can NOT seperate yourself, we are ONE, always!!!!

Our Love made us who we are and that will never change, we just have to be true to ourselves and we will be true to them, remember always.

Comment by ei on April 16, 2013 at 5:31am

Karen, Congratulations on your new home, new state, new neighbors and new friends.  Sounds like you make a great decision.

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