Widowed in 2012

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Comment by Lori on April 13, 2013 at 1:38pm

dusty sorry this is lori i was logged on as ron.  we share a computer please forgive the confusion

Comment by recent loss(Ron) on April 13, 2013 at 1:06pm

Dusty, ((hugs)) i had that experience as well only before my late husband died.  He was an invalaid not capible of taking care of himself much less me so i took myself to the hosptial, and drove myself home the next day.  I had to pull over twice because i was so dizzy and i blacked out, family and friends didn't think about me needing help.  it can be very very lonely.

Comment by Lostwithouthim on April 13, 2013 at 11:56am

I don't come here regularly but when I do I feel better. I lost my husband ten months ago and I hurt more than ever. Cry uncontrollably through dinner with friends...I feel so alone and the living by myself doesn't feel like it's getting any easier either. A friend told me to "buck it up" it will get easier. He's been married 50 years. How does he know ? I wish I knew what to say under these circumstances, but I'm just stunned. My brother-in-law whom I adore says its about the attitude. He's never lost his wife. He was my husband's best friend. And my husband found joy in every moment he could. I am so lost without him.

Comment by Lauralee on April 13, 2013 at 10:06am

Lori - I also had trouble sleeping for almost a year.  I got nightlights for my room and the upstairs rooms and that helped somewhat.  I don't particularly think I am afraid of the dark but it did help.  I also took up knitting and would knit for an hour or two before trying to sleep.  It relaxed me since it was hard to concentrate and read.  I love reading but it has been hard this past year to do that.  I only recently started being able to sleep and some days I seem to be catching up on all that lost sleep.  Hopefully, you can find something that helps you relax and turn off your thoughts.  Sending peaceful and sleepy thoughts your way. 

Comment by Mford4 (Marlene) on April 13, 2013 at 8:42am

Oh Dusty, can I relate to your story!!!!  The first time I had to go into the hospital for an outpatient surgery I did manage to get a neighbor to drop me off and pick me up when it was done.  The whole time I was in there I realized this was the first time I am totally alone.  when I got home, I was 48 hours not to be on my feet.  ALONE....trouble getting to food, water, the toilet...I cried and cried the whole time.  I was a mess.  Not looking forward to the "next time".  Gentle days to us all!

Comment by Prairie Gal on April 13, 2013 at 8:14am

Dusty, I'm glad that you are OK. I can't imagine how alone that made you feel. You are right, this journey is hell, but all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and cope the best we can, and you did a commendable job. You are a strong, brave woman.

Comment by Dusty on April 13, 2013 at 6:16am

Want to feel totaly alone....go have surgery...everyone is there with someone and they won't let you leave unless someone takes you...I had to have surgery and all my children live too far and a friend would have to take off work for 2 ior three days and I couldn't ask that...the hospital was 80 miles from home.  I had to be there at 5:30 am and the surgery was same day but there was a chance I would have to stay over a nite...I drove myself to the hospital and had a hotel a mile away and figured I could drive that far after...first I lied and said someone was coming for me...they wouldn't leave me so I faked that the person canceled and they called me a cab, then I paid the cab driver to take me to the parking lot where my car was, he felt bad and followed me to my hotel...it had been 10 hrs since the sugery so I was in no danger to drive..I felt so so alone without my Love there and so scared...   what a totaly empty feeling it is....this journey we have been forced on is hell there is no other word for it( the surgery turned out fine but made me even more alone than I had felt before....soft days and nights for all of us on this terrible journey we are on

 

Comment by sueprnova on April 13, 2013 at 1:16am

Lori, You will sleep. It happens. And unless you have work or kids to be alert for...then it's inconvenient but not pressing.
Crew5 and cookie, sorry you're here but glad you found us.
We get it. Really, we do.
Peace,
Sue

Comment by laym1 (Lori) on April 13, 2013 at 1:06am

i thought i was doing well. then I had an accident and Iwanted to call Jim to come and get me and make it right, but i couldnt  I had to handle it myself.  I am almost afraid to sleep lately and I dont know why.  any suggestions?

Comment by Crew5 on April 12, 2013 at 10:25pm

I too am new to this site, I'm still not sure of my way around here but I'm learning. When I am feeling alone I like to come here and just read. It reminds me that this is a journey shared by many and it does give me hope for the future. It was 6 months this week that I lost my husband. (We were together for 32 years, longer than I lived without him). I see a counselor 1 to 2 times a month and highly recommend it if you can swing it. She is the absolute safest place to let all my feelings out. Feel free to contact me (once you figure out how) if you want to talk more in depth. Wishing you peace.

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