Widowed in 2012

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Comment by courtice on March 18, 2013 at 8:21pm

CindyK, don't ever think that you're weak. You have more strength inside you than you know. It actually takes a strong person to cry and to acknowledge their pain. You will get through it, one way or another.

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on March 18, 2013 at 7:37pm

OH Cindyk..I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable in the chat rrom.. You must always let us know when you are having a bad day..we will ALWAYS yield the floor to a hurting widow.  It does take some getting used to..as there are several conversations going on at the same time.  It overwhelmed me at first..but i hope you will try it again..because the chat room is where i have cried, vented, laughed, shared..and made lifelong friends..I am sorry yo uhad a bad day..but we all have them.  Please know you are not alone.

Comment by CindyK on March 18, 2013 at 6:56pm

I just tried the chat room for the first time, because I'm really having a rough day and I'm trying to not bother the couple of friends I have and call them since it is a Monday and I'm sure they are just coming home from a stressful day at work.  But I don't think I'm cut out for chat rooms.  I guess I'm too wordy.  I wanted to say that I was sorry to interrup the current conversation, I hadn't been in the chat room before, and before I could go further, I couldn't type anymore, so I guess I went over the character minimum.

Anyway, I didn't sleep well last night, have cried off and on all day, trying to make myself fix something for dinner.  I was so strong through the years that I was dealing with a stressful job and a dying husband.  Now that I've lost my husband, and chose to leave my job to deal with the loss, I feel so weak and out of control. 

Comment by Catx on March 18, 2013 at 1:48pm

I, too, lost a hell of a lot of weight since my sexy boy got sick at the end of August.  I will need to dispose of lots of my od clothes, whenever I have the energy to do so.  I expect, as my appetite slowly return, somes of those pounds will come back, but certainly not all of them!!

My husband was always slimmer than me and  now I can comfortably fit into some of his rugby shirts and jackets.  While, of course, I wish it was him wearing then, but it gives me comfort to be wearing things of his, especially ones that we bought together.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on March 18, 2013 at 10:03am

Good morning, Dusty. Good for you for losing weight, although it's a tough way to lose it. While my husband was losing weight during chemo and radiation, I gained what he lost. God was trying to protect me with some extra fat cells, I guess, LOL. My husband has been gone 4 1/2 months. I donated all of the medical equipment that he needed and moved all the leftover medical supplies to my bedroom. I cannot even think about touching ANY of his clothes, let alone the fancy ones. I had to dress him for about a year, so just looking at his clothes makes me feel closer to him. My thought is that the special ocassion clothes of yours are so full of precious memories that your heart just can't let them go. All those "lasts" when he was alive that are in your mind while you are dealing with all the "firsts" without him. My best suggestion would be if you need the space, can you have a friend help you put them in a box or another closet for now? At some point, the memories may be firmly enough planted in your mind and heart. Perhaps it's just too soon for now. Take good care of yourself! Jocelyn~

Comment by Dusty on March 18, 2013 at 2:16am

has anyone had this problem....before my husband passed I had lost a lot of weight, 123lbs.  I have gone through his clothes and given most to the kids or to the needy...My Love died one year on Mar 30th so things have been hard...I have had to buy all new clothes and I need to make room in my closet so I need to get rid of my out grown clothes...I can't seem to get rid of the clothes where  we did special occassions, like our last New Years eve, our cruise, etc. (but they are mine not his)....I totally don't understand

Comment by Maria Louisa on March 18, 2013 at 1:42am

Thank you all for your welcome messages  - this is a wonderful site.

Comment by alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) on March 17, 2013 at 10:37pm

Sincere congratulations Marvelous Marlene. I knew your weekend would be a success because you are a very positive person and you planned a wonderful memorial to your Pat. Thanks so much for the beacon of light you always shine for us!!!! Love and hugs for surviving the first year. Jocelyn~

Comment by saudade on March 17, 2013 at 8:08pm

@Maria Louisa~welcome. Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband August 8th, 2012 from leukemia, so we are right in the same time frame of healing. I am new here also, but already finding it helpful. Be well, Lisa

Comment by Mford4 (Marlene) on March 17, 2013 at 8:04pm

Maria Louisa, I am so sorry for your loss.  There is great support here.  Marlene

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