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Widowed in 2014

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Members: 414
Latest Activity: Mar 17

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Comment by Just.me on January 6, 2018 at 10:43pm

I just had a very sad and upsetting incident happen with my oldest son right before Christmas and I'm having difficulty just putting it away as one of those things that happen, but will never be quite understood,. I didn't feel that driving two hours in the sleet and rain was a safe choice for me to go see my granddaughter's dance recital on a Saturday afternoon. I explained this to my son the night before the program. He seemed to understand as I had recently made the drive for a birthday and another for Thanksgiving. But somehow, the conversation evolved into one of anger on his part with me asking him to explain what was really going on. He  became belligerent and actually said, "Mom you really don't want to go there."  But, I was so confounded and got a bit hot myself and told him I did really want to know what was up. He said there were three men in his life he truly admired and felt he owed them so much in his life. One was an uncle. One was a friend's dad and the third was his stepdad, who was the love of my life.  He said since Jim passed, he really didn't like being around just me. I've always felt my son has been dependable and there for me, but only out of duty and obligation. I really didn't want to believe it, but it's obviously true. Truthfully, I'm not controlling or obtrusive. I don't call all the time or ask favors and I try to be as positive around his family as possible. After losing over have of my family when Jim died, this is just too much to take. I don't know what to do to go on. What if I loose my younger son too? I believe my oldest thinks three years is long enough to grieve and I should just get over it. I don't think it's helped to be candid with him about my feelings. Sorry to unburden myself with the group, but if anyone has any words of wisdom, I welcome you to make any remarks that could help. Thank you.

Comment by Froggie4635 on January 5, 2018 at 9:25am

Dear Leesa...

So sorry to hear about your loss.  My Mark died on Dec. 4, 2014....two days after his 53 birthday.  I am glad that the holidays are over.  I have found myself having many more good days than bad....but the holidays are always the worst.  You are in good company here.

Comment by Leesajanel on January 5, 2018 at 6:08am

my name is Leesa n im new here my husband matt passed away Dec 6 2014 at 5:28 am which was 21 days before our 28th wedding anniversary he was my high school sweetheart we dated all through high school then got married had 2 children we were happily married this was not how it was suppose to happen we were suppose to grow old together instead im alone God I miss him with ever breath I take 

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 31, 2017 at 11:09am

If you don't have plans this evening, pop into the chat room to ring in the new year with other Villagers. You are not alone. We'll be there for all US time zones from 11pm Eastern to 12:30am Pacific.

http://widowedvillage.org/chat


VOLUNTEER
Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:24am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

http://widowedvillage.org/chat

Comment by Gary'swife on December 23, 2017 at 8:24am

#dougn52 -  I have met a couple of people who lost their spouses, and when we each found out the other was widowed, we could each talk about our experience without worry.    One of the things that bothers me is too many times when I talk about being widowed it makes people feel uncomfortable, so I have learned to not talk about it with "civilians".      

I had been going to a grief group, so of course everyone there was widowed, and it certainly is "the club no one wants to belong to", but it is always nice to know there are people who "get it".

Comment by dougn52 on December 7, 2017 at 7:32pm

I have never heard this discussed before.  My wife died in Jan of 2014, so it has been almost 4 years for me.  I have been in contact with many people in the same situation on this and other websites, but I recently met a 29 year old woman in real life with 2 kids whose husband died 8  months ago.  Has anyone else experienced this? Our meeting was quite by accident.  It seems for me, that meeting in person is quite different than meeting on the internet.  It is so much more real.

Comment by Gwamma on August 18, 2017 at 4:54pm
High alert indeed. If mother is escaping with son, there is a reason. Two sides to every story though. Bothers me that he is especially interested in befriending your wife. Would indicate that he is seeking assistance of some kind. (Like the teachers help in extracting the student circumventing school security?) Please advise both your wife and school of this suspicious behavior. I believe school security has experience enough to assist you best in matters of this nature.
Comment by Nieta on August 18, 2017 at 8:40am

Also shut down any social media accounts that either of you may have like Twitter or Instagram. 

Comment by Nieta on August 18, 2017 at 8:38am

Doug,

You should both be on high alert.  I would personally shut down my FB account and make the police aware of the circumstances.

 

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