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Latest Activity: Mar 17
KayRo-I totally get the brain turned to mush thing. I took me daughter to her orthodontist last Thursday, apparently her appointment wasn't actually until March. I am constantly feeling like I am forgetting something, it is very annoying but from what I understand completely normal. -Juli
I just joined this group, even though I was officially widowed in 2013, but on Dec. 30. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks and I am functioning, but I miss him so much. I am getting used to coming home to a house without him in it. I had to go through his files to gather up the stuff to send to the accountant to do his taxes. When I found the medical stuff I just sat and cried and cried because it was like a journal of the step by step process of losing him starting in September, 2013 and ending in December. I hate this. Even though I am fairly independent and can by just fine on my own, this is different because it isn't by choice. My choice was to have Terry in my life and to grow old with him. Sigh.
Passingthrough- Thank you for the kind words. I am managing to get up out of bed every day, get myself and the kids ready for a new day and go through the motions. Sometimes that is all it feels like though, that I am going through the motions. I know it is still so fresh but I used to be able to get excited about little things, and look forward to little things. I don't/can't do that anymore, now it is just another day to survive.
I lost my husband just 1 month and a day ago. It still feels so unreal, he was only 40 and it was a stupid accident. The emotions are exhausting, I keep whipping back and forth between feeling like 'It is what it is' as Brian would say, a sense of quiet acceptance, to feeling like it isn't fair and shouldn't be real, to gut wrenching pain at the loss. It makes me feel crazy.
It is a little harder and easier both that I have 2 kids who desperately need me, 8 and 5. I am just so mad for them, both Brian and I came from homes with broken marriages and when we were married we agreed divorce was not an option. Our kids were supposed to have a stable and loving 2 parent environment for their whole lives.
Dear KayRo, I lost my soulmate and heart 34 days ago..., even though sometimes it feels so much longer, and sometimes when I am with people or doing home chores I forget for a little while and then something hits me and I remember he won't be calling me , or coming home extra early with a happy cheesy grin, etc, etc, and my heart turns to lead again, and the colour of my life just fades away again. Valentine is a construct, and just like your Russ, my Zozo didn't believe much in it either. But, he knew I did care a bit and surprised me with a small token. What is going to hurt is that your love, who made you feel Valentine's was your day too, is not there, and thus Valentine's day has no meaning anymore. How to cope with it? The same as you cope when you see couples walk hand in hand, hear love songs, watch romantic movies, and see happy couples flirting with each other. You remember it all had ameaning because of him, you thank him with all your heart for having made you feel so complete, you silently tell him you know you made him the happiest man and complete too, let the tears fall, feel the heartache, and put another tick on another day. There is no easy way, and it doesn't get easier. You just find a new way to share that day with him, create a new tradition that somehow you will share with him, it still is you and him, differently, full of sadness, but also full of love.
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