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Widowed in 2014

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Members: 416
Latest Activity: Feb 17

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Comment by missusvonkysmeed (Juli) on February 12, 2014 at 2:42pm

I lost my husband just 1 month and a day ago.  It still feels so unreal, he was only 40 and it was a stupid accident.  The emotions are exhausting, I keep whipping back and forth between feeling like 'It is what it is' as Brian would say, a sense of quiet acceptance, to feeling like it isn't fair and shouldn't be real, to gut wrenching pain at the loss. It makes me feel crazy.

It is a little harder and easier both that I have 2 kids who desperately need me, 8 and 5.  I am just so mad for them, both Brian and I came from homes with broken marriages and when we were married we agreed divorce was not an option.  Our kids were supposed to have a stable and loving 2 parent environment for their whole lives.

Comment by Eli on February 10, 2014 at 12:07pm

Dear KayRo, I lost my soulmate and heart 34 days ago..., even though sometimes it feels so much longer, and sometimes when I am with people or doing home chores I forget for a little while and then something hits me and I remember he won't be calling me , or coming home extra early with a happy cheesy grin, etc, etc, and my heart turns to lead again, and the colour of my life just fades away again. Valentine is a construct, and just like your Russ, my Zozo didn't believe much in it either. But, he knew I did care a bit and surprised me with a small token. What is going to hurt is that your love, who made you feel Valentine's was your day too, is not there, and thus Valentine's day has no meaning anymore. How to cope with it? The same as you cope when you see couples walk hand in hand, hear love songs, watch romantic movies, and see happy couples flirting with each other. You remember it all had ameaning because of him, you thank him with all your heart for having made you feel so complete, you silently tell him you know you made him the happiest man and complete too, let the tears fall, feel the heartache, and put another tick on another day. There is no easy way, and it doesn't get easier. You just find a new way to share that day with him, create a new tradition that somehow you will share with him, it still is you and him, differently, full of sadness, but also full of love.

Comment by my roses on February 5, 2014 at 3:56am

Hi RiseUp 22

Just telling you that I have sent an email in response to your comment.... that

you wished to talk to me.  The email was sent via the WV website.  Just send me

an email back.  Or do a post on widowed in 2013 - telling me when you did it.

Happy to talk with you.

Blessings

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on February 4, 2014 at 8:01pm

No problem with you being in both groups, RiseUp or just here in 2014 ... saltypearl is correct, no police here.  

Comment by saltypearl on February 4, 2014 at 6:13pm

Riseup: I don't think anyone is going to call the 2013 or 2014 police...I could be wrong but I don't see the cut off being a hard line.

Comment by RiseAgain on February 4, 2014 at 8:33am

Hi I lost my wife just a couple weeks before Christmas, so technically...was still 2013..is it ok to post in this group. Its been 7 weeks. Should I just post in the 2013 group? 

Comment by Tanzwife on February 3, 2014 at 6:42pm
Hi saltypearl - I don't use Facebook, but someone actually did block their MIL, she was also a member on this website!!
Comment by Tanzwife on February 3, 2014 at 6:39pm
Kayro - I'm now approaching 14 months, the counting doesn't really stop, but the span of time that goes by makes it seem that you've stopped counting. I'm so sorry you're on this journey, but I'm glad you've found this site, where you'll find people who have gone through this and can give you the support that sometimes seems elusive unless you've been dealt this card. In time, and unfortunately, you'll also share your own experience just like others shared with me. This site was such a blessing to me.

Let me know if there is anything I can do

((((Hugs))))
Comment by saltypearl on February 3, 2014 at 6:18pm

KayRo:  I don't count I feel like if I do count then I'll completely break.  His mom counts and posts it on FB all the time.  I may block her soon cause I can't deal with her grief on top of mine.  I know she means well, but her path isn't mine and it isn't helping.

Comment by Tanzwife on January 25, 2014 at 5:30pm
Braykyemom - this is the about same time it hit me last year, when all is said and done and md you're left with moving forward. BAM! It comes out of nowhere, there is nothing to do or say other then I wish you peace in the coming weeks. I also got mad at my husband for leaving me and our kids, for not taking care of his health...over the past year all that has subsided leaving a ache that I just deal with... You are young, not sure how old the babies are, but take care of yourself, lean on people, friends, family, people here too on this site. It's not an easy journey but I'm a year out and I'm doing ok. I'll take ok for now. You'll be ok too I promise. Being a widow sucks.
 

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