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Latest Activity: Sep 8
I've been reading your comments here and remembering how it was for me at first. I'm now just a bit over the two year mark. But, about 30 after my husband passed, I was at the doctor's office. My chest hurt so badly I thought I was having a heart attack. All the symptoms were there. After a bunch of tests, my doctor came in the room and asked if she could give me a hug. She said, "You are not having a heart attack, your heart is OK except that it is broken." What wise words! When grief is new and fresh, your broken heart really does hurt. Hoping this helps you all understand that, unfortunately, this is normal. You do not have to like it, for sure. Be gentle with yourselves.
I too went back to work last week and it was strange. O realized that I need to take to time easing back to my schedule. I work as a therapist in a hospital and people there don't know how to approach me if they do at all. I am lucky I work part time and can control my schedule. The financial stuff we are going through is ridiculous. My husband passed Jan 3 and we havent received 1 nickel from his work(he was a government employee) or from his insurance-he was also a veteran. There is red tape for you, Luckily I have family helping me through this crazy time.
I went to the office yesterday for the first time, there were a lot of questions, hugs and sad looks but also a lot of people who just avoided me. I was only there half a day but I was happy to leave.
I managed not to cry but I am glad I have a bit of vacation time before I go back again.
shelly, that's something I needed to hear about friends who can be triggers. An eye opener. I was doing OK-ish today (weeping regularly through the day, but recovering and getting work done) and then a certain friend came over who has been helping me. Wow - after she had been there a while I just about bottomed out in despair and couldn't figure out what set me off but knew it was related to her being there. Not good.
Hugs to all. 8 weeks out. Less numb, more pain, but better spaced, if that makes sense. I can get a thing or two done without crumpling, or really, in between crumpling. Miss him so badly. I didn't think I would be widowed at 47 either.
I also felt like I was waiting for the bottom to fall out... that's a great way of putting it... thankfully... it never really did for me... but the anxiety lasted for several months of me feeling that way, until about 5 months in I finally went and got some help from a doctor. I started having panic attacks and with me being a school teacher... not a good mix. Keep in mind that nobody grieves the same way...and there isn't a way you "should or shouldn't" be acting. I can tell you, I"m almost to my one year angelversary, and am no longer on anything for anxiety and for the most part, the fog is finally letting up some. Grief is funny, some days you function in a close to normal capacity...other moments... bam! Some things to try to figure out are triggers (such as particular friends who just don't get it but "try" to help you anyway) Some triggers (like friends?) you can't do much about and just have to be ready, others (like this checker at a local store who smells like my husband) you can avoid. I'm sorry that so many of you have already joined this forum... It sucks. But I'm glad you are here, you'll find amazing help and its a safe place to just vent, cry, ask silly questions, find out you aren't alone and some day, help another. ((((group))))
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