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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2015

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Members: 304
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Comment by Victoria on February 22, 2015 at 11:46am
My husband passed suddenly on January 24. He had never been sick in 13 yrs, and the coroner still has no answers yet as to what caused it. I feel like so broken. I have 3 little kids aged 3, 5 and 9 and they are the only thing pushing me to keep going. I feel like I burst into tears at everything. I have no idea how I'm going to do this without him. My life feels like it stopped the day he died. :(
Comment by lonelyinaz on February 20, 2015 at 9:28pm
Such similiar stories. Me too taken to urgent care three wks after he passed staff so nice. Kept telling me drink wtr eat more you look unhealthy. Well it is az i was pretty dehydrated and with such fog i lost track of food and wtr. Sent home with friends to look out for me for a few days with meds for neusea and sleep. Family in mn all upset i felt bad to make them worry abt me. I know better than to live here in so az all these yrs and get dehydrated. Just takes us over this crappy grief. Pls take care you folks walking this journey of 2015. Many hugs.
Comment by Doug02122014 on February 20, 2015 at 6:04pm
barbee,

Me too except my face and right arm were going numb while driving outta downtown Indianapolis on the interstate. I knew there was a firestation a few miles up the road right adjacent to the highway and was going to try to get to it. I did make it to the back door and a medic saw me and asked if I was feeling OK. Told him what was going on & he checked me out. He said I passed the field tests for stroke but looked like hell and they would transport me to the hospital if I wanted. I declined and tried to leave and they had me sit around the station awhile and just keep talking to them. Eventually I got to feeling better and before I could leave they told me if I got to feeling bad again on way home to pull over and hit them on the radio and they would come get me.

So yes, grief - stress can and does mess with your body in real ways WE MUST TAKE SERIOUSLY ! My family does have a history of both strokes and heart attacks at a young age. So simply dismissing these warning signs was not an option when I potentially could orphan 2-kids if I get it wrong.
Comment by barbee on February 19, 2015 at 4:01pm

I've been reading your comments here and remembering how it was for me at first. I'm now just a bit over the two year mark. But, about 30 after my husband passed, I was at the doctor's office. My chest hurt so badly I thought I was having a heart attack. All the symptoms were there. After a bunch of tests, my doctor came in the room and asked if she could give me a hug. She said, "You  are not having a heart attack, your heart is OK except that it is broken." What wise words! When grief is new and fresh, your broken heart really does hurt. Hoping this helps you all understand that, unfortunately, this is normal. You do not have to like it, for sure. Be gentle with yourselves.

Comment by Kittens123 on February 19, 2015 at 7:01am

I too went back to work last week and it was strange. O realized that I need to take to time easing back to my schedule. I work as a therapist in a hospital and people there don't know how to approach me if they do at all. I am lucky I work part time and can control my schedule. The financial stuff we are going through is ridiculous. My husband passed Jan 3 and we havent received 1 nickel from his work(he was a government employee) or from his insurance-he was also a veteran. There is red tape for you, Luckily I have family helping me through this crazy time.

Comment by LeahCim on February 19, 2015 at 4:50am
I lost my husband on January 21 and the shock is starting to lift, the numbness fade and the intense grief set in. The anxiety is awful and my chest feels as if there is someone standing on it. My kids (13 & 15) seem to just go about their daily lives like nothing has happened and we have always been a family of 3. i am worried about when the mounds of paperwork and to-do lists run out, the numbness wears off and I am just a puddle on the floor.
Comment by Crispygirl on February 18, 2015 at 9:52pm

I went to the office yesterday for the first time, there were a lot of questions, hugs and sad looks but also a lot of people who just avoided me.   I was only there half a day but I was happy to leave.  

I managed not to cry but I am glad I have a bit of vacation time before I go back again.

Comment by mixelated on February 16, 2015 at 11:53pm

shelly, that's something I needed to hear about friends who can be triggers. An eye opener. I was doing OK-ish today (weeping regularly through the day, but recovering and getting work done) and then a certain friend came over who has been helping me. Wow - after she had been there a while I just about bottomed out in despair and couldn't figure out what set me off but knew it was related to her being there. Not good.

Hugs to all. 8 weeks out. Less numb, more pain, but better spaced, if that makes sense. I can get a thing or two done without crumpling, or really, in between crumpling. Miss him so badly. I didn't think I would be widowed at 47 either.

Comment by sugr-plum (shelly) on February 16, 2015 at 10:52pm

I also felt like I was waiting for the bottom to fall out... that's a great way of putting it... thankfully... it never really did for me... but the anxiety lasted for several months of me feeling that way, until about 5 months in I finally went and got some help from a doctor.  I started having panic attacks and with me being a school teacher... not a good mix. Keep in mind that nobody grieves the same way...and there isn't a way you "should or shouldn't" be acting.   I can tell you, I"m almost to my one year angelversary, and am no longer on anything for anxiety and for the most part, the fog is finally letting up some.  Grief is funny, some days you function in a close to normal capacity...other moments... bam! Some things to try to figure out are triggers (such as particular friends who just don't get it but "try" to help you anyway)  Some triggers (like friends?) you can't do much about and just have to be ready, others (like this checker at a local store who smells like my husband) you can avoid.  I'm sorry that so many of you have already joined this forum... It sucks.  But I'm glad you are here, you'll find amazing help and its a safe place to just vent, cry, ask silly questions, find out you aren't alone and some day, help another.  ((((group))))

Comment by j'swife on February 16, 2015 at 9:29pm
Beyond hideous shinzawai no Its not suppose to happen this young.
 

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