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Latest Activity: on Wednesday
shelly, that's something I needed to hear about friends who can be triggers. An eye opener. I was doing OK-ish today (weeping regularly through the day, but recovering and getting work done) and then a certain friend came over who has been helping me. Wow - after she had been there a while I just about bottomed out in despair and couldn't figure out what set me off but knew it was related to her being there. Not good.
Hugs to all. 8 weeks out. Less numb, more pain, but better spaced, if that makes sense. I can get a thing or two done without crumpling, or really, in between crumpling. Miss him so badly. I didn't think I would be widowed at 47 either.
I also felt like I was waiting for the bottom to fall out... that's a great way of putting it... thankfully... it never really did for me... but the anxiety lasted for several months of me feeling that way, until about 5 months in I finally went and got some help from a doctor. I started having panic attacks and with me being a school teacher... not a good mix. Keep in mind that nobody grieves the same way...and there isn't a way you "should or shouldn't" be acting. I can tell you, I"m almost to my one year angelversary, and am no longer on anything for anxiety and for the most part, the fog is finally letting up some. Grief is funny, some days you function in a close to normal capacity...other moments... bam! Some things to try to figure out are triggers (such as particular friends who just don't get it but "try" to help you anyway) Some triggers (like friends?) you can't do much about and just have to be ready, others (like this checker at a local store who smells like my husband) you can avoid. I'm sorry that so many of you have already joined this forum... It sucks. But I'm glad you are here, you'll find amazing help and its a safe place to just vent, cry, ask silly questions, find out you aren't alone and some day, help another. ((((group))))
im so sorry shinzawai I know how I feel :( im 26 my hubby was 39.
Hi, I lost my wife suddenly on 3 January. To say it was a shock is an understatement. 41 is far too young to be a widower :(
I lost my husband (common law) on 1/26 and Vintage summed it up, I cry and hate night time. I can't sleep and have no focus. But most of the time I am managing and holding it together. I worry that I seem to be doing reasonably well and that this is just shock, that the bottom may fall out any second and I am going to have a complete meltdown. I am heading to New Orleans to spread his ashes on the 25th of Feb (we will do it on the 26th, the one month anniversary) and I am worried about being in a city we loved so much with so many memories. Healing wishes to everyone here.
(((HUGS))) to both Melanda and vintage56. Shock and numbness are to be expected and normal in the first few months. It has happened to all of us here. You are in good company with others who are walking the walk with you. Take it slowly, remember to breathe, and be gentle with yourself. I'm two years out and times can still be tough, but the waves are easier to ride now.
Sorry you are both here, yet welcome to a loving group.
I lost my husband on 1/16 and I feel like Melanda - I think I am still numb. I cry sometimes but am able to hold it together most of the time.
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