This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2015

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Comment by sugr-plum (shelly) on February 16, 2015 at 10:52pm

I also felt like I was waiting for the bottom to fall out... that's a great way of putting it... thankfully... it never really did for me... but the anxiety lasted for several months of me feeling that way, until about 5 months in I finally went and got some help from a doctor.  I started having panic attacks and with me being a school teacher... not a good mix. Keep in mind that nobody grieves the same way...and there isn't a way you "should or shouldn't" be acting.   I can tell you, I"m almost to my one year angelversary, and am no longer on anything for anxiety and for the most part, the fog is finally letting up some.  Grief is funny, some days you function in a close to normal capacity...other moments... bam! Some things to try to figure out are triggers (such as particular friends who just don't get it but "try" to help you anyway)  Some triggers (like friends?) you can't do much about and just have to be ready, others (like this checker at a local store who smells like my husband) you can avoid.  I'm sorry that so many of you have already joined this forum... It sucks.  But I'm glad you are here, you'll find amazing help and its a safe place to just vent, cry, ask silly questions, find out you aren't alone and some day, help another.  ((((group))))

Comment by j'swife on February 16, 2015 at 9:29pm
Beyond hideous shinzawai no Its not suppose to happen this young.
Comment by Shinzawai on February 16, 2015 at 8:46pm
It's hideous isn't it, j'swife? It's not meant to happen at our age. My heart goes out to you.
Comment by j'swife on February 16, 2015 at 4:51pm

im so sorry shinzawai I know how I feel :( im 26 my hubby was 39.

Comment by Shinzawai on February 16, 2015 at 4:35pm

Hi, I lost my wife suddenly on 3 January. To say it was a shock is an understatement. 41 is far too young to be a widower :(

Comment by j'swife on February 15, 2015 at 11:14pm
Hello I lost my husband suddenly on January 30th. I'm 26 with a 6 year old. I'm ok but not ok I guess you could say.
Comment by Crispygirl on February 15, 2015 at 12:19pm

I lost my husband (common law) on 1/26 and Vintage summed it up, I cry and hate night time.  I can't sleep and have no focus.   But most of the time I am managing and holding it together.   I worry that I seem to be doing reasonably well and that this is just shock, that the bottom may fall out any second and I am going to have a complete meltdown.  I am heading to New Orleans to spread his ashes on the 25th of Feb (we will do it on the 26th, the one month anniversary) and I am worried about being in a city we loved so much with so many memories.   Healing wishes to everyone here.

Comment by barbee on February 12, 2015 at 12:56pm

(((HUGS))) to both Melanda and vintage56. Shock and numbness are to be expected and normal in the first few months. It has happened to all of us here. You are in good company with others who are walking the walk with you. Take it slowly, remember to breathe, and be gentle with yourself. I'm two years out and times can still be tough, but the waves are easier to ride now. 

Sorry you are both here, yet welcome to a loving group.

Comment by vintage56(barb) on February 12, 2015 at 10:29am

I lost my husband on 1/16 and I feel like Melanda - I think I am still numb. I cry sometimes but am able to hold it together most of the time.

Comment by Melanda on February 9, 2015 at 9:33am

I lost my husband on January 18th unexpectedly and I really dont know what I am feeling. I feel like no one around me understands my pain. I have cried very little but I have alot of anxiety. I know I'm in shock. I cant even stay in my own home. Hoping this group and forum help me deal with my grief.


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