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Widowed in 2015

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Members: 306
Latest Activity: Sep 8

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Comment by Hope on April 19, 2017 at 3:47pm

Terry, I think you will find you are relieved to not be under the stress of the job anymore. Fill your time with your interests and passions and maybe just relax!!

Comment by Terry on April 17, 2017 at 8:06am

The clock continues to progress towards my last day at work on the 29th.  A huge part of me is mourning another loss as I let go of this job and the people that saw me through my wife's illness and eventually her death.  If I am honest with myself, I never saw myself leaving the workforce this soon (56) and the prospect of all of this time on my hands is pretty daunting.  I just found over the last two years I could no longer be the person my job required of me.  The demands that were made seemed trivial compared to what I have gone through over the last 7 years of illness and bereavement.  I thought the sleepless nights would end once I had made my decision but they have only gotten worse as I lay awake at night wondering if I have just ruined my life.  Time will tell.  Perhaps I will go back to looking at it as a year off to be good to me as opposed to a permanent move. 

Comment by Flower on April 15, 2017 at 8:15am
Hope I am so sorry about your daughter. Life seems so very difficult and cruel at times.
Comment by Hope on April 9, 2017 at 6:43am

My daughter and her fiancé of 9 years broke up this week. He completely blind sided her and she is devastated. She has to tell her son, my grandson. It breaks my heart. He lost his best friend and Grandpa 21 months ago and now in many ways he will lose the man who has been in his life since he was 9 and is now 16. Added to losing Ken I feel like everything is falling apart. They have two hotels that are up for sale and right now its up in the air where she will ultimately move to. I am trying to live one day at a time and not worry about the future. I just turned 70 and while I am adjusting to life without my darling husband in small ways I have such a long way to go. I am so sad

Comment by Hope on April 9, 2017 at 6:43am

My daughter and her fiancé of 9 years broke up this week. He completely blind sided her and she is devastated. She has to tell her son, my grandson. It breaks my heart. He lost his best friend and Grandpa 21 months ago and now in many ways he will lose the man who has been in his life since he was 9 and is now 16. Added to losing Ken I feel like everything is falling apart. They have two hotels that are up for sale and right now its up in the air where she will ultimately move to. I am trying to live one day at a time and not worry about the future. I just turned 70 and while I am adjusting to life without my darling husband in small ways I have such a long way to go. I am so sad

Comment by Hope on April 9, 2017 at 6:38am

Oh Terry, I am glad for you that you made this decision although it will definitely be an adjustment. I retired 10 days before my husband died as we had many plans. Having open ended time and not having to "be on" can be a real relief. On the other hand, its a lot of open ended hours so I hope and pray your volunteer work and other passions will fill the gap. I am praying for you. Let's keep in touch

Comment by alonenow (Betsy) on April 8, 2017 at 2:49pm
Terry,
I've been reading your posts for a long time. I wish you all the best. I think going with your instincts is the best thing you can do. I will keep reading and hoping for lots of good things for you.
Betsy
Comment by Mary H on April 8, 2017 at 7:26am

Terry, you are both a brave and a compassionate person, and I wish you the very best on your new journey.  I completely understand what you mean about the emptiness of "things."  We all have to find a way to make life matter to us again, and I look forward to seeing your posts on your way to finding meaning. 

Comment by Cindy on April 8, 2017 at 6:59am

Terry I think you are doing what most of us can only dream about doing. For myself after caring for my husband for a year before he died I have a new perspective on life and I have come away from the experience with more empathy for people in general. If I could afford to quit my job and help people I would in a heartbeat. For now I do whatever I can within my means.

Comment by Flower on April 8, 2017 at 4:55am
Terry
Good for you for being brave and following your instincts! I am pretty sure you wouldn't have taken this step if you were not sure you could manage financially and it will allow you time to grieve and regroup and see what it is you want to do next.
I am cheering you on!!
 

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