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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Widowed in 2015

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Members: 308
Latest Activity: Nov 4

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Comment by Evolving on October 7, 2017 at 10:38am

Terry, I am very glad that going to the jeweler's turned out to be a good experience for you!

Flower, I hope your day yesterday went well, as well!

Bundle549, I have been thinking of you, too.  

Nieta, wanted to thank you once again for your kind words!

It has been good for me to read your messages and realize that a lot of mixed feelings, ambivalence, etc. was not "me being crazy" but may actually be part of this process we all go through: rebuilding a solo life after being part of a couple for so long.   I thank you for sharing!

Comment by Terry on October 6, 2017 at 11:47am

I made that trip to the jeweler's today to get the rings linked.  When I walked through the door, I had no doubt that I was doing the right thing.  I explained to the clerk what I was wanting.  She asked me if next Friday would be soon enough to pick them up.  I said it should be fine as they weren't going anywhere until I die anyway.  It was a light moment that gave both of us a chuckle.  Looking forward to seeing the symbolism of the finished product:)

Comment by Flower on October 5, 2017 at 6:39pm
Terry, if you don't do as you had initially planned what will become of the rings? I think maybe you will be reassured after the appointment tomorrow. If you are still uncertain then maybe just leave it for a little while and then revisit the idea again.
I don't think you should feel at all guilty about doing whatever you want with them.

Suzy B, it does take the joy out of things when you can't share them anymore. It is still a real achievement on your part though, especially given the fact that you did it whilst in the midst of grieving for your husband.

Bundles549, thank you. I am planning a trip to the shore where my husbands ashes were scattered. It is a place that has many happy memories. I plan to walk and remember and have a glass of wine. And toast him. It seems the right way for me to spend the day.
I have never heard of the Labyrinth Walk, fingers crossed you can get there. Sending a virtual hug for Monday.
Comment by Terry on October 5, 2017 at 6:33pm

Evolving...thank you so much for putting it in perspective for me.  I guess the practical side of me was trying to justify not 'burying' them which would almost feel wasteful.  Yes, they are a part of our history and shall remain so forever.  I would rather have them with us knowing everything we went through together over the years from the hilarious proposal to the final goodbye.  I now have comfort in my decision and will feel much better walking into the jeweler's tomorrow.  Thank you again:)

Comment by Evolving on October 5, 2017 at 6:07pm

Terry, what is important here is the meaning these rings and this gesture have for you (and for her.)  

When you think about it, (misquoting Carl Sagan) we are all floating on a small Pale Blue Dot in a vast amount of space: everything we are and everything we own is tiny compared to the size of the universe.   What makes each thing important is the meaning each one of us gives to it.    These rings are important not because of the material they are made of, or the use anyone else could give them.   They are precious because they have been a part of your history, and they should continue to be so.  :).

Comment by Terry on October 5, 2017 at 5:48pm

Sometimes what seems like a great idea becomes a source of stress when faced with actually doing it.  I have an appointment with the jeweler tomorrow.  When my wife passed over 2 1/2 years ago, I decided to have our rings opened up and linked together to be placed in our one shared urn upon my death.  It is my wedding ring but her engagement ring as she lost her wedding ring years ago when we were on a cruise.  Getting the rings out of the jewelry case tonight, I started wondering if I am doing the right thing!  These rings would mean nothing to anyone else and my wife's jewelry has been divided among her female kids and grandkids.  It just feels like I am wasting diamond rings by placing them in an urn for eternity.  Thoughts please?  I felt so at peace with this until tonight!

Comment by Bundles549 on October 5, 2017 at 4:47pm

Flower, I am thinking about you and your wedding anniversary tomorrow. Do you have anything planned? October 9th is 2 years that my husband is gone. It's just another woek day for me. I am hoping to go on a Labyrinth Walk on Sunday, but it all depends on whether there is good transportation. (The NYC Metropolitan Transit Authority likes to reroute all the trains on the weekend so they can work on the tracsk, etc. If it's like that on Sunday, I will stay home and make up a ceremony at home.)

Comment by Suzy B on October 5, 2017 at 6:50am

Last week I won a big award at work; it even came with a small cash prize.  I was happy to have my work recognized and rewarded (a rare event) but the win seemed so hollow without my hubby to share it with. I actually found it kind of depressing, since they reason I threw myself into my work so much the last couple of years was to keep myself busy and less focused on my loss. I love my job and work hard at it, but it sure doesn't take the place of my wonderful husband. I would trade it all away and more just to have a few more days with my Darrell.  Sigh.

Comment by Nieta on October 3, 2017 at 3:03am
Amen.
Comment by without on October 2, 2017 at 6:49pm

My mind and heart are with the people who have been affected by the horrific incident in Los Vegas. For so many families the world has become an unimaginably horrific place. Unfortunate we have new members of the club that no one wants to join.

 

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