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Widowed in 2015

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Members: 321
Latest Activity: Apr 16

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Comment by Charlotteelsie on November 15, 2018 at 10:40am

It was my partners anniversary 30th Sept but the last month with my daughter leaving for university my grief is up again. I miss them both of course. Ive been on half a dozen dates and have another Saturday. It seems to make my grief worse and the loneliness is really bad as I miss my soul mate connection with my partner. I do feel in my teens again its so stressful.

Comment by Nardly on November 14, 2018 at 11:45am

Hi Bundles,

 I know how you feel. For me I wanted someone to share my life with too. I’m 65, no living family. My wife’s family doesn’t want to ba a part of my life since she died. I tried dating sites, went on a few dates, met some nice ladies I’m good friends with now. Met one lady who was nice on the surface, but had anger issues underneath. I was about to give up on it and met a very sweet woman that’s caring, affectionate, always happy and smiling. It was very strange at first but now we’re very happy together. I know what you mean about seeing if anyone calls, responding to your profile etc. It’s a bitch we have to go through this again at our age but I guess we’re lucky to have another chance at love. It is better than crickets!  I wish you all the best moving forward with your life, I’m here if you need to talk about the dating thing. But be careful, meet in a public area. 

Comment by Bundles549 on November 14, 2018 at 9:32am

So about 10 days ago I joined eHarmony. It was something to do to ease the pain and the loneliness. So, taking another step away from my husband who is not here, toward someone who IS here. Nothing big happening yet. Just an occasional message from a coupla guys. No sense of urgency, but yet it feels like high school or college. That old "is there a message for me, will he call?: syndrome. I suppose it's better than crickets!

Comment by Bundles549 on October 2, 2018 at 1:44pm

It's a week away from the 3 year anniversary of my husband's death. I have been thinking about him so much lately, having little flashbacks of us together doing daily activities, dancing, eating together. I feel sad. I Miss him. I am still not feeling that close to family. Too many years of not being a part of them has been difficult to reverse. And I am a childless aunt...apparently I have nothing to offer!

I brought my 96 year old mother to live with me a little over 2 months ago. I am dealing with my feelings about her lack o grqatitude close up. I feel so taken for granted instead of appreciated. My cousins are coming up from Philadelphia for a day visit tomorrow. From the way she talked, I thought she was bringing lunch and we all would eat it together. Now it turns out that she expected me to treat her and her brother, since they are driving up. That wasn't my sense of the visit in the first place. I thought I was being gifted something, now it seems that I am not. And now I have to buy groceries, make salad, cannot make the cake that I had planned because all of a sudden my cousin is not eating carbs

I already feel out of sorts because I am feeling lost and alone, wondering how I will ever find love again at 65, when we all know that men want younger women and sex...well, you know what I mean. I wish I had my old life back. My husband would be helping with Mom, we would be going on a road trip once in a while, just enjoying hanging out. It doesn't seem like I am asking for all that much...

Comment by Mary H on October 2, 2018 at 10:41am

I'd say hang in there Charlotteelsie, but honestly, I've been feeling like I've been walking a tightrope over the abyss myself lately.  Just don't look down, and try to find something, anything which you can find joy in for a little bit.  That's my plan and my hope, that if I just keep going, maybe one day I will look around and find myself happy again.

Comment by Charlotteelsie on September 27, 2018 at 8:51am
  • A week ago was 3 years since my partner died. My only child has gone off to college two weeks ago and I had a knee replacement seven weeks ago. The third anniversary is very hard and painful. I feel lost and a great deal of rage at societies expectations that we just keep going. I feel totally burnt out and cant see a future at all. Theres a limit to this brutal betrayal of grieving. His family ignore me and do not communicate. It feels like he never existed. Charlotte
Comment by julep67 on August 6, 2018 at 5:31pm

It's nice to see folks posting here. Today was our anniversary.  I met Mark on this day in 1999 and we were married in our back yard on this date in 2009.  In 10 days he'll be gone 3 years.  It's strange to me that it's been almost 3 years.  I still miss him everyday but I realized recently that I don't cry everyday anymore and I'm not sure when that happened.  I also haven't been dreading August this year like I did in 2016 and 2017.  Year one was busy with selling our house, moving, doing all of that "business" stuff you have to do when someone dies.  Year two was the hardest year for me, I guess because the reality set in.  Year three was about acceptance now that I look back on it.  Overwhelmingly, I have way more happy days that sad these days.  After some fruitless (albeit at times hilarious) attempts at online dating I met someone pretty special.  Not sure where it's going but it feels like it's going somewhere good. Year four, here I come!

Comment by Nardly on August 6, 2018 at 2:51pm

It’s nice to catch up with members from our group. I’m sorry to hear about your knee and getting turned down for disability Charlotteelsie. Don’t give up on the disability. Most people are denied the first time. Van was turned down when she became ill and we got another SSA attorney and she got back pay and disability. I hope your surgery goes well. Mary and Bundles, I’m glad you’re moving forward and making progress. I know the online dating can be a real hit or miss. And dangerous for women. I did the online dating and did good and bad. Some of my dates didn’t turn out well and that’s okay. I got out the house and had practice! Two of the women I dated have become very good friends. And met a special lady last year and we’re very happy. She gives me support and space when things come up about Van. My family and some of Van’s family has met her and I think for the most part they are happy for me. But Van is always in the back of my mind and prayers every day. Right now I don’t see marriage in my future, it just doesn’t feel right. I really hope others in our group post how they are doing. No one understands our journey except us.

Comment by TFH2015 on August 6, 2018 at 2:39pm

Mary H...Terry here!  Glad that you are still dropping by.  I left Widowed Village last winter and only rejoined yesterday.  It may have been one of those things where you wonder if there is a power in control that knows more what I need than what I need...lol.  You see, Nardly emailed me over the weekend to see how I was doing as he had not heard from me in a long time.  Because the email was sent through this site, I could not reply to him if I wasn't a member so I re-upped!  It feels good to be back.  Its still the same old me but with a different screen name now.  3 1/2 years for me as well.  Can't believe I survived it.  I have a co-worker who just lost her husband to suicide two weeks ago.  When the time is right, I am going to gently offer her the invitation to join widowed village.  I honestly believe I would not be where I am in this journey had it not been for the support I have received from my Widowed in 2015 family.

Comment by Bundles549 on August 6, 2018 at 11:31am

Still here! I still miss my husband but I have gained some emotional stability. I recently broughf my 96 year old Mom to live with em. We are adjusting to the changes. I am not dating. I would like to be in a relationship, but not with just anybody. Online dating seems fisappointing.....

 

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