Create a Ning Network!
Join yourwidowed peers
Sign Upor Sign In
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.
Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]
Latest Activity: Jan 4
Tomorrow will be 4 years. I didn't take time of work this year, the first time that I left it open like this. I think I will take a sick day tomorrow. Its definitely not as bad as it was the last 3 years. Its kind of strange that way, a part of me feels guilty for it. As the day goes on I feel more and more sick. I'm also dealing with family issues and working overtime, which is not helpful. I don't even know the point of this post, just wanted to say something.
Thanks for your post. I have definitely changed a lot mentally and physically over the last four years. Ill health had been a constant companion. Also my daughter went off to college. The empty nest thing on top of everything has taken so long to get used to.
Hiya Hope, welcome back!
Join us in the chatroom in the morning for cawffee. I can attest to the aging and living alone challenge.
Hey Hope, good to hear from you. The aging part is a bitch. Both physically and mentally. So what has changed in the last four years?
I’m back. after 4 years. Doing much better overall but finding aging and living alone a challenge
Dear CinPan, So sorry to hear how hard it is for you. Anniversaries and holidays are horrid. Easter is hard. Ive been struggling myself its 3 1/2years for me and my only daughter went to college in Sept and nothing in life has any meaning. We had planned to move to France on retirement and Im stuck. Notre Dame yest was a shock as my partner was French and very religious. My only consolation at times is a friend whose husband died 12 years ago as she knows. I have no social life Ive tried a few dates but it has been very odd.. Friends who havnt this experience seem to think I can get on with life but anything new is torture. My partner has come in my dreams a few times which has been a shock as this is new and Ive noticed places we used to go are changing. Its definately a hard time. Best wishes Charlotte
CinPan, it's a very hard time, losing your husband just at that time when your children are growing away from you. That's the stage of our lives where it is just give, smile, support and their minds are elsewhere, looking forwards. I have three, 14 to 20, with two away at college, and the youngest is planning to cook me a dinner for my birthday, which is this weekend. I was telling her how much I appreciated it, and how I hadn't even expected anyone to remember, and tears just started streaming down my cheeks. I've really entered a much better and more peaceful place in recent months, so I hadn't even known I was sad, I'm just so used to, now, just giving and getting nothing back. When we begin to lose everyone that we used to pour all of our love into, it's time to start pouring that love back into ourselves.
I’m sorry you’re have a hard time. Losing him on Fathers Day and buried on his birthday has got to be hard. It’s been almost four years and I still have my moments too. I have a woman in my life, I love her and we live together but like you said, a picture, song or finding something of hers can hit me. It’s better than it was but those feelings pop up. Lately I have been having dreams of her. They are actually very nice, like a visit from her. I hope things will get better for you but we’re all different. I can’t say anything to make it better but I understand. One of my best friends lost his fiancé to breast cancer. She fought for two years before she passed and now he’s going through what we went through. It has effected me, bringing back those terrible storm memories. I know I am rambling but you have a place here to say anything. Take care of yourself.
And.... I'm back. Almost 4 years. I am so angry yet so apathetic. I won't even go into the details. I am weary. My entire life has changed. I work. I smile. I support. I encourage. My oldest's birthday is coming up, my youngest is graduating college. Then, father's day, that's the day he was killed. Then his birthday, which was his funeral.
I have worked so hard. I have moments and glimpses of how life could be. But , I'm one song, one photo, one drink, one memory away from losing it.
I just needed a safe place to say this. I am not expecting anything in return. I am riding the waves and recently it has been a stormy sea.
Thanks for all your comments. I have had some lessons about vulnerability over the holiday period. I too at 61yrs feel 80yrs at times. I dated one man twice but felt uneasy and he was the exact opposite of my partner and realised luckily. I could not listen to racism and sexism which he seemed unconscious of. So Ive moved on but It was not easy. Im thankful I was observant and able to act in my best interests with the help of friends.
© 2020 Created by Soaring Spirits.
Report an Issue |
Terms of Service
Please check your browser settings or contact your system administrator.