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Widowed in 2016

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Members: 262
Latest Activity: Sep 6

Discussion Forum

Ugh. Dating.

Started by ImTheMarigold Sep 6. 0 Replies

Coming up on two years in November. I just started to think I might want to try dating. I'm just so lonely and sad. Not what I expected for myself at 37 years old. I can't imagine anything ever being…Continue

UNBELIEVABLE

Started by Austin. Last reply by Austin Jul 26. 2 Replies

HiI just hit the 2 year mark for my husband--so very hard.I spent a lot of time in the house behind me and out in the yard with the 2 very good gardeners.I really thought we were all friends- so very…Continue

Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness

Started by Tess. Last reply by Tess Jul 4. 8 Replies

I know this many seem an odd discussion, as we are essentially always responsible for our own lives, but it seems to take on a new twist after losing one's spouse. When you share your life with…Continue

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Comment by MissingFehr on March 6, 2016 at 9:16am

I lost my husband on Feb 13, 2016 in a semi-truck accident. He was sleeping in the sleeping section while his partner was driving. His partner was unable to stop the truck and crashed into three parked semi-trucks killing himself and my husband. It has been very difficult these last three weeks without my husband. We were extremely close and we shared everything.  It saddens me that my husband went to bed thinking that he was headed home. He was so happy because they were on their way home, but instead my husband went home to be with the Lord. 

Comment by TeresaBunker on March 2, 2016 at 11:43am

KayeL, I can understand what you mean about welcoming death. While I would never do anything to hurt myself (I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and they can NEVER go through this pain), I would have been okay if I was hit by a bus in the very beginning. All I wanted was to be reunited with Brad.

Now, I'm trying to pay attention to the signs I know he is sending me. I literally feel him with me...not as much as when he first passed, but I still do. That is comforting to me. I KNOW one day we will be reunited. I also believe he will help me to move on, and to find all of the things he wanted to give me but couldn't.

Comment by TeresaBunker on March 2, 2016 at 11:33am

I am so grateful to have found this site. I'm not sure where to start, so I will start here.

I lost my boyfriend, my soul mate, on February 4. His name is Brad, aka Bunker. I'm doing MUCH better than I was, but I am still having a hard time making sense of his passing. I recognize the great things about our relationship, but it's so unfair and I feel cheated out of our life together.

He was 48 and died from alcoholism. He went through treatment in November and did AMAZING. But he didn't stick with his follow-up plan and fairly quickly went back to drinking. Things gradually progressed until he passed away. His parents and I thought it would be the same as every other time. Let him sleep it off and we'll talk to him in the morning. But by morning it was too late. He was gone.

There were plenty of close calls in the year or year and a half we were together. One time he technically died and was brought back. But still...nothing prepared me for this actually happening. I never got to say goodbye.

I know he struggled for YEARS with many things, including chronic pain and depression. Not being an addict myself, I have a hard time understanding those demons. I have a tiny grasp on it now, which helps because I know this wasn't his fault and he couldn't control it.

I know for a fact he did not intend to die. He knew how much it would hurt me, and he would never do anything to intentionally cause me such heartbreak. I'm still going through periods of shock. I can't believe this has actually happened. It's all so surreal.

I know he wants me to be happy, so I am trying. I'm starting to have some decent days and I know there will be more.

Sorry for rambling. Guess I needed to get some of that out. :-)

Comment by Sue on February 24, 2016 at 2:16pm

MS Dean, I hate we have all ended up here. Right now I think my purpose is just to get up and try to keep afloat what i can. Everything is exhausting. I hope you can find some peace. Things can be scary.

Comment by MSDean on February 23, 2016 at 2:58pm

My husband died on Jan 16th from a severe case of pancreatitis  that caused a whole bunch of problems.  He was in the ICU for a month and hospice for 7 days.  We were married for 3 1/2 years.  He died at 42.  I was his caregiver for many years due to an car accident that left him paralyzed.  So when he died I lost my precious husband, my income, my apartment and my own health.  It is really hard having to start over it seems like from rock bottom.  Life really can be unfair.  It is hard every day to find purpose again.

Comment by Sue on February 23, 2016 at 10:43am

My husband died Jan. 14th. Diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in June of 2015 followed by a nightmare of a battle for eight months. He was 44. We'd been married 13 years, 14 next month. We were never able to have children. I was several years older than him. This was so messed up. It should have happened to me. He would have survived losing me so much better. he could have remarried, maybe even had children. I have to go back to work next week. No idea how to that. I'm just in a really bad place right now. I guess everybody on here is though.

Comment by KayeL on February 11, 2016 at 12:12pm
I want to scream out loud because I miss my husband. I am in so much pain. Every day my thought about ending my life grows stronger day after day. I abstain from taking any food and drinks. The cremains of my husband was finally rest in peace yesterday, I held off the inurnment week after week. I miss the tenderness and love he used to give me every day. I hate talking to the air as I feel like I am half crazy.
Comment by KayeL on February 9, 2016 at 8:14am
I won't take my life but I am very welcome death if that makes sense. He will be in good hands if something ever happen to me. I miss my husband too much... He was always my number 1 priority even our son can't take away his #1 spot.
Comment by Lostwithoutyou<3 on February 9, 2016 at 7:38am
I feel the same way but you wouldn't want to leave your son behind, would you?
Comment by KayeL on February 9, 2016 at 6:51am
I miss my husband too much. He was my bff, my soul mate, my support, my son's most loving father, and the best husband. These few weeks I constantly thinking about dying so I could go with him. I have too much worries. Why didn't God take my life away as well?
 

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