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Widowed in 2016

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Members: 264
Latest Activity: Mar 16

Discussion Forum

Adds to the Confusion

Started by Miket Mar 16. 0 Replies

I have been aware of Colton Burpo and Eben Alexander as two people who died, went to heaven, and then returned to tell about it. But recently I also found myself reading about Dr. Mary Neal. She also…Continue


Started by Miket. Last reply by Miket Mar 8. 1 Reply

One of the things I am struggling with ... is how is my wife right now? Is she ok? Is she lonely? I hope she is not suffering anymore?  Does she know how much I love her and miss her? Does she know…Continue

Biggest Regret and Non Regret

Started by Miket Mar 1. 0 Replies

i keep thinking about the wonderful, special 43 years I had with my wife. I will never regret telling her I love her. I made sure I told her several times each and every day. Sometimes I would even…Continue

Tired of grief

Started by Riley. Last reply by Miket Feb 23. 17 Replies

Hi everyone,  I'm just sitting here in my living room staring at the walls.  I do that a lot.  I guess I'm just sometimes still so dumbfounded .  I still have a hard time excepting that this is my…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by sandi on April 7, 2018 at 4:44pm

I am also going on the 2 year mark. My husband was 62 and we were married 43 years.  I miss him every day. He was my world and always made me laugh.  I don't think I have laughed since.  I hope this journey gets better, the silence and lonliness are overwhelming. My heart goes out to you. Hugs.

Comment by underthefarmhouse on February 21, 2018 at 3:57pm

Dear Racingfan60, I am so sorry for your loss, and your words really struck me. I just passed the 2nd anniversary of my beloved husband's death at the young age of 63, and I too faulted the medical treatment and physicians in Maine that "attended" his decline and fall.  I won't go into the details, but my stepkids wanted me to sue my husband's doctors, nurses and other providers, and finally they wanted me to join in the class action lawsuit against Xarelto. which my husband's doc started him on about 3 weeks prior to his death.  Aren't they lucky to have a stepmom who's also an attorney?  UGH.

My conclusion at the time was, well, I have  a certain amount of time to file any suit I desire to file, and talking about lawsuits right after I lost the love and the light of my life, who truly was my best friend, was not what I wanted or needed to hear.  So, I ignored their words and changed the subject.

Even now, two years later, I think "Money won't bring him back, and all I truly want is to see him, hug and kiss him and spend the rest of my days left on this planet with him. " No one else on Earth has ever been able to make me laugh the way he could.

I'm only just now starting to remember what it's like to laugh.  And anyone who tells me that "you're young, you'll find love again" is still really asking me to punch them in the face.  I have never given in to that desire, but it's fun to think about, and in my little world, there' s no thought-crime.  

My heart bleeds for you, because I too felt numb and ripped off and angry and just completely destroyed by the horrible chain of events that unfolded, leading up to my sweetie's death on 2/17/16.  Please take care or yourself, you are most certainly worth it.  It took me many, many months to finally seek help for my grief and pain.  There's no "right" way to cope with sudden loss, and anything you do that makes you feel even a little bit better is worth pursuing.  I started singing in the supermarket, or walking down the street, and my voice is not bad, so I can make myself feel better and other people, too, for a little while.  

Here's a link to the song that reminds me most of my sweetie, "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. I can't sing it without crying, which is "forbidden" in the culture in which I was raised.  What a bunch of malarky!  What a voice this woman has!  She should be a superstar!  To me, she is.  Hugs and love to you from me.

Comment by Mrs. L. on February 21, 2018 at 3:30pm

I am so, so sorry to read about the passing of your husband.  Sounds to me that if the doctor would have intervened in his shortness of breath his passing would not have happened..  I just feel so bad for you.  Where do you go from here? 

Comment by Racingfan60 on February 21, 2018 at 7:20am

My name is Teresa Sewell, I am from Alabama and I am 61 years old on July 27, 2016 my entire life changed for the worse my husband of 25 years passed away suddenly and unexpected after having gone through 2 hip replacements and a total knee replacement without complications he had recently had to go on medical disability he had only drawn 2 SS checks before his death the death certificate says he died from sudden cardiac arrest but my husband never had any type of cardiac problems at all at the time of his death he had just completed 8 weeks of radiation treatment for prostate cancer he died on a Wednesday on the Monday prior to his death we had went back to the doctor's office for blood work to be done to see if the radiation had gotten rid of the prostate cancer he was short of breath at the time but during his radiation treatments he always was telling the doctor of the shortness of breath the doctor said it was cause by the extremely hot weather we were having I told the doctor that was certainly not the cause because for the last month he was inside the house in air conditioning and just going down the hall the the bathroom left him out of breath but the doctor still insisted it was the weather on the Friday following my husband's death on Wednesday the doctor's nurse called me while I was making funeral arrangements for my husband to ask why my husband had not shown up for his appointment I told her in no uncertain terms that he had a  very good reason for not being there because he was dead she immediately went and got the doctor on the phone all he said was how sorry he was I told him that we would have never chosen radiation had we known this would happen I was hesitant to go with radiation but my husband wanted it because my father had prostate cancer and he had used this same doctor and he never had a problem at all but he did not have all the hip replacements the doctor assured me that they could give the radiation with the hip implants with no problems which was a lie everyone I have talked to said my husband died of a pulmonary embolism that I should have had an autopsy performed but I did not think of that. 

Comment by Lev on February 9, 2018 at 8:49am

Dear Fran

 I sent you a birthday card for your beloved.

With love and best wishes.


Comment by Lev on February 9, 2018 at 8:47am

Comment by Mrs. L. on February 9, 2018 at 7:48am

Today would have been my husband's 80th birthday.  I always told him I hoped he would live to 80, somehow right now that does not feel so old.  Will go to the cemetery and sit on the bench and have lunch and talk.  Still have not come to terms that it will soon be 2 years.

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on December 31, 2017 at 11:09am

If you don't have plans this evening, pop into the chat room to ring in the new year with other Villagers. You are not alone. We'll be there for all US time zones from 11pm Eastern to 12:30am Pacific.

Comment by lowrsr (Sherry) on December 27, 2017 at 5:47pm

I hope everyone is managing the holidays... Almost over!

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:23am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!


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