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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 159
Latest Activity: 4 hours ago

Discussion Forum

A Ton of Bricks

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Shoosie2 4 hours ago. 7 Replies

Hi everyoneTomorrow is the 4 1/2 month mark that my Rick left his 'earth-suit' , and it's just really hitting me hard that my Rick won't ever be back. Ever. I tried to get that through my mind and…Continue

Making new friends

Started by Mike. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 19. 20 Replies

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the…Continue

Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed?

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 17. 12 Replies

Good Morning EveryoneI haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was…Continue

ANC service on Feb 28 was beyond words

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Rainy (Misty) Mar 8. 2 Replies

Marty’s Arlington National Cemetery service exceeds words, just as my grief for my missing him every day no words seem to be enough.We had 40+ family and friends in attendance. I hired a photographer…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by Gunnerx2 (Carol) on October 27, 2017 at 5:07am

Kimmy I know exactly how you feel.  My husband passed in July.  I still sob every day.  Yesterday I finally went to the courthouse to record a quick claim deed to take his name off the deed to the house.  I felt like I was erasing him.  It broke my heart to do that ...

Comment by SoundOfSilence on October 27, 2017 at 4:17am

Thank you InsideLove, hopefully this site will help us all get through this devastating time.

Comment by Kimmy on October 26, 2017 at 8:22pm

Ive just picked up my husbands death certificate  - wow another reality check that im on my own forever im now listening to UB40 one of his favourite bands and crying my eyes out. Like insideLove i have two counsellors i see one mental health and one wellness but this site is a lifeline. Im frightened on how to go forward without him how can an independant woman not know what to do.

Comment by Tracy on October 26, 2017 at 5:54pm

Another day comes to a close.  Seems to me that is what I look forward to. Sleep and not thinking and reliving that moment .  My life has changed forever.  How do I go on without my husband. So much pain and anxiety. Married 39 years and passed May 28 ,2017, 6 days after his 68th birthday.  .  I missed him so much.  I'm so tired and have brain fog.  I am thankful for everyone here but very sad that we have to be here

Comment by InsideLove on October 26, 2017 at 5:03pm

SoundsofSilence, I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for some of what I know and all of what I don't. Sadly I found my way here a short time ago, in addition to a counselor, and 2 grief groups in my community. They are all lifelines for me. It could be that for you too. My husband of 47 years died unexpectedly as well, 3 days after his 68th birthday. I hug you and sob with you. I'm sorry you even, like me, had to search such a place out.

Comment by SoundOfSilence on October 26, 2017 at 10:16am

It is very hard for me to come to the realization that my life will never be the same but it will not. I lost my husband Dan on Sept. 29th, 2017 very suddenly and unexpectedly. I was in California on business and hadn't even been there for 24hrs when I got the call from the state patrol, he had went into cardiac arrest in his SUV on the way to work, they did get his heart started but he suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen. I flew home and spent the week in the ICU with him but he did not wake up, I so wish he had woken up, he was my husband, my best friend and my everything. I talked to him on Sunday and he was fine, I was even showing him the beach and telling him that we should go there on vacation sometime soon. The only comfort that I can take from this is he was able to donate his organs and hopefully save some lives, and I am holding on to that for dear life. I feel I am still in complete denial, I kept telling myself this is just a bad dream and I am going to wake up and it never really happened. And I feel like I am saying this all the time, almost as a broken record but I just cannot believe that he is gone. I am so sad and scarred and I have no idea how I am going to get through this, it is over consuming.

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on October 19, 2017 at 7:14am

Hello, I have stayed away from this site for a while.  I guess I needed a short break.  Pretending for everything to be normal again.  We here all know are normal will never be the same. I read all the posts as they help me a lot to understand and know I am not alone nor crazy.  As one said this is the worst counting system ever, counting how long we have been widow's.  My 6th month is lurking around the corner on November 2, 2017.  It was this time last year when everything started to fall apart.  My husband started showing signs that something was wrong; he was urinating blood.  Turned to be stage IV kidney cancer; he passed May 2, 2017.  The whole process in itself is horrible.  The port for the chemo, the blood draw, the chemo rounds and watching him fade away in front of my eyes; knowing the impending doom was coming.  His last 14 days were at home and my daughter and I were his primary caregivers; hospice was a joke.  Now I am in the phase of I need to get rid of some of his things. Everything is still where he left it when he was alive.  I have a counselor who I sit and cry for 50 mins 1x a week, not to fun. Crying in public or around people was never appropriate or feelings of any nature in my family.  I came from a good military family; dad is a retired Lt. Col. in the Air Force; need I say any more.  Lately all I do is cry and it is so uncomfortable I feel so lost, out of control and alone.  Alone I am dealing as I was abandoned as a baby and adopted when was 18th months old. The out of control from all these other emotions from loosing my spouse, best friend, lover, father of my children, grandfather our grandchildren. - I just needed to vent thank you.

Comment by InsideLove on October 18, 2017 at 6:06am

Beth: thank you for confirming what I feel and am learning. Fortunately, God has set me in place with family and friends that I can call on. I also find the Bereavement Hotline from the Dignity Funeral Home, available 24/7, to be outstanding listeners. I usually call them when I've been sobbing for what seems like eternity, even at 11pm. They don't put their "you shoulds" or suggestions on me whatsoever. They listen, they tell me they hear my pain and anguish.

Comment by Beth on October 17, 2017 at 9:39pm
Adoption 1964: Girl, you hit the nail on the head! People do NOT know how to deal with our grief!! I've,tried to educate my friends versus being offended or appsled at their lack of understanding. I never knew till I was here either... sorry to say. As you know, people say "take it one day at a time" whenwhile,we're trying to take it one second at a time!! I hope you find solace within. Hugs! Beth
Comment by Beth on October 17, 2017 at 9:23pm
Inside love: my heart goes out to you..I SO wish I could say it gets better in a week, a month or a year, but I can't. I just hope you have family and friends you can reach out to in your darkest hours. If not.know we're here for you. Hugs!
 

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