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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 66
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

"I know what you are going through" UGH!

Started by Raven2017. Last reply by BelovedPeach on Sunday. 8 Replies

If I hear one more person say "I lost my (mother/father/sister/brother/....), I know exactly what you are going through,"  I think I will scream!  NO!  NO!  You do NOT know exactly what I am going…Continue

Another week...

Started by VenusBlue. Last reply by Anchor82 on Friday. 6 Replies

And yet another week without my dear husband.  This makes six weeks since he passed. This is the worst time keeping ever. So unreal; such a time warp. I'm brought to tears when I have to say my…Continue

How am I supposed to even begin to prepare for Christmas?

Started by Tania. Last reply by mls64 (Mike) Sep 13. 2 Replies

The holiday season is lurking - growing closer every day. It's supposed to be a joyous time with family and friends. It's not even Halloween and already items are on display. Christmas in July was…Continue

Who am I?

Started by Leeky. Last reply by Gunnerx2 Sep 4. 10 Replies

I seem to be fixated on this thought - who am I?  I honestly don't know.  We were together for my entire adult life.  I don't know what I like to eat, watch on tv, my clothing style, or even my…Continue

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Comment by guilloma on March 2, 2017 at 9:37am

mcbeth, I work from home, but usually go into the main office once a week.  I have not been in weeks, but I drove in on Tuesday this week.  It was rough.  I am in an office in the back, tucked away by myself.  It was good to focus on something else, but it was also nice to be alone, where I could lay my head on my desk and cry every now and then.  My co-workers pretty much left me alone back there.  I have been trying to let my emotions just roll on through, no matter when or where.  I have cried in my car, in the grocery store, at my bank, in my finance guy's office, in front of my boss, at my washing machine, in the middle of street walking my dog.  I never feel a sense of relief after crying, like I have with other losses, but it helps to just let it flow.  And sometimes, very rarely, I can smile at a memory of my husband.  I usually cry after that, too, but that's OK.  I hope that you find a moment of peace.  Hugs to you.

Comment by Heavyheart on March 2, 2017 at 8:39am
Hi all,
I feel this raw pain of grief still. I lost my boyfriend John on February 9. John and I were discussing getting engaged and making lots of plans for the future. His death has been so sudden and devastating. He was on vacation, I was not able to go with him on this occasion, and while he was out one day he had an accidentwhich resulted in his passing. I find myself worried for a future without him as we were just beginning to plan so much. I still am struggling right the why him, why us? I hate that he is no longer here.. there is a bittersweet solace in knowing others are experiencing similar thoughts and feelings. I know this journey is long and rough.. I can only hope that one day this pain will. It be so heart wrenching and raw
Comment by guilloma on March 2, 2017 at 7:09am

Yesterday (03/01) was exactly 5 weeks since my husband passed.  In some ways, I feel worse now than I did those first 2-3 weeks. The grief is different - not quite as raw and stabbing - but now I think that my brain is finally starting to accept that he is gone, which is another kind of horrible.  I hate this so much. I don't want to get used to his absence!  I just want him here with us.

It is such a drastic change, VenusBlue.  It is incomprehensible to me.

Comment by mcbeth (Mary Beth) on March 2, 2017 at 5:24am

Morning Ladies. I lost my husband of 42 years on January 2. He had diabetes, heart and kidney problems, but  at the time he died he was dong well and it was not expected. We have been together since we were juniors in high school. We did everything together and the only time we were apart was when we were at work, even when he was in the hospital I was with him every day. I had to go back to work the week after he died, it's a double edge sword. It gives me a reason to get up and get dressed every day but at the same time I'm pretending that I'm doing ok. I'm afraid that I have not really let it sink in and that one of these days I'm going to lose it. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I am not happy to be here but I am glad that I have found a group that can understand what I'm going through.  MaryBeth

Comment by VenusBlue on March 2, 2017 at 5:02am

Yes guilloma, the drastic change is hard to cope with.  I'm trying to fill my time with things now.  I imagine I can keep myself busy, but I'll always be lonely without my sweet husband.  It's striking me how good the relationships I'm reading here were. It seems unfair that all these great ties have been broken. Hugs to you.

Comment by guilloma on March 1, 2017 at 6:33pm

Thanks for breaking the ice on this group, VenusBlue. I have been meaning to do so, but I kept forgetting. I am so sorry for your loss; it sounds like you and your husband had built a great life with each other.  I lost my husband, Michel, on January 25.  He had several chronic diseases, but was doing well.  Unfortunately, he caught the flu on January 19 and passed away on the 25th.  It was sudden and unexpected.  I too am struggling with the utter separation after being together all of the time. Michel was retired and I work from home.  If we were not together, than we were texting or talking to each other on the phone.  This abrupt and complete separation is killing me. I just want to check in with him, like I could at any other time that we were apart. I write and talk to him almost daily, but there is no feedback.  This site definitely helps.  

Comment by VenusBlue on March 1, 2017 at 6:04pm

My husband passed away January 29 from a brain aneurysm at age 45.  It was so unexpected, and still quite unbelievable to me.  We sold all our property, and started full-time RVing in September of last year.  It was a lifetime dream of ours, and I'm so glad we decided to just go for it, or else he would have never seen all the beautiful places we visited.  Honestly, if he had been told he had 6 months to live we wouldn't have changed a thing.  So crazy how that worked out for him.  But now I'm stuck in 40 ft RV I can't drive, and facing so many decisions without him is unbearable.  I'm afraid because it sounds like the worst part of my grieving may be yet to come, and I can't imagine how that could be.  Going from spending every second the day together (quite happily), to absolutely nothing is so numbing. He told me so often that he lived to make me happy (which he did), and his absence is making more unhappy than I ever thought possible.  I'm so sorry he left this earth so early, so sorry he's not here to see the things I see, so sorry I can't hear his voice.  I'm glad I found this website.  I've been journaling, but I feel some interaction with kindred spirits will do some good.


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Comment by Soaring Spirits on February 3, 2017 at 7:51pm

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

 

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