This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 90
Latest Activity: 14 hours ago

Discussion Forum

Its Official

Started by HelensRay. Last reply by Pearlinden 20 hours ago. 3 Replies

Its official I just hate hate hate hate this life without my Helen.  Cancer snatched Helen from me 30th June and I thought I was doing OK, but every day is getting so more wearisome.  I go out, I…Continue

How am I supposed to even begin to prepare for Christmas?

Started by Tania. Last reply by Tania yesterday. 3 Replies

The holiday season is lurking - growing closer every day. It's supposed to be a joyous time with family and friends. It's not even Halloween and already items are on display. Christmas in July was…Continue

How to Introduce Myself

Started by Pearlinden. Last reply by BelovedPeach Nov 2. 1 Reply

I moved to my old hometown a few months ago, after a long absence.  I'm generally an outgoing person, before all the dark grief.  People are very friendly here.  Up until recently I responded…Continue


Started by Kimmy. Last reply by Malgosia Oct 31. 12 Replies

Hi my husband Owen passed away 10 days ago. His battle with cancer finally ended. This overwhelming sadness is gut wrenching

Comment Wall


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Comment by HelensRay on October 30, 2017 at 7:19am

Pearlinden, what I get from Widow village is that I can say where I am at, and everybody here knows exactly where I am (if you get what I mean!!).  I can say things here that if I said in the pub I would get some very strange looks or someone trying to rehabilitate me. I lost my Helen just 4 months ago and just before you posted I was apologizing to her that I was having to throw away her liquidizer because it was broken.  I know what people would say - its just a bloody liquidizer - but it was her liquidizer, the one she used on such a regular basis.  The first time I used it I felt guilty and now I have to throw it away!!.  Ray 

Comment by Pearlinden on October 30, 2017 at 6:40am

Thanks.  I'm just trying to keep a low profile and not open my mouth.  Just smile.  No one wants to hear it, or they try to fix it, wish it were that easy.

Comment by adoption1964 on October 30, 2017 at 6:24am

Pearlinden:  I totally get what you are saying.  I am going into my 6 month.  No it is not the same loosing a father, brother, etc.  I too had some tell me at lunch I know about grief I lost my brother.  I just smiled and shined on, while inside I am thinking nope not the same ugh.  I too was told maybe a group, club, cooking classes somewhere where they don't know your sadness.  Gee thanks. I did those things and have been keeping busy.  I think we can only stay busy for so long.  Keep strong and I am thinking of you.

Comment by Pearlinden on October 29, 2017 at 11:58am

OK, it's finally hit me like a ton of bricks.  I just passed the 8 month mark, and thought I was doing OK.  Coasting on adrenaline and busyness I guess.  Reminds me of when I had knee replacement surgery, they put a super local anesthesia in the joint and I thought "that wasn't so bad" - then after a couple days it wore off!  Up to now, that was the worst pain I've ever experienced, but it was only physical.  I never knew I could hurt so bad emotionally, and in body too.  I had a complete breakdown on Tuesday.  Was supposed to fly to California for a friend's husband's memorial (!) and could not even think of getting on a plane.  Just paralyzed with grief, still am.  I don't care if I live or die, but would not take active steps, too scared.  Trying to get out some, in the last two days had someone tell me they know how I feel, they lost their father;  and yeah, they got divorced, it's the same thing.  How can we not strangle stupid people?  I've been told to join groups, book clubs, bible study, volunteer -- yes, I'd do/have done all those things if I had the energy to meet new people.  I'm tired of telling my story, I hate my story because it no longer has Charlie in it.  So looking forward to Camp Widow to be with my tribe.  Thanks for listening.

Comment by Gunnerx2 on October 27, 2017 at 5:07am

Kimmy I know exactly how you feel.  My husband passed in July.  I still sob every day.  Yesterday I finally went to the courthouse to record a quick claim deed to take his name off the deed to the house.  I felt like I was erasing him.  It broke my heart to do that ...

Comment by SoundOfSilence on October 27, 2017 at 4:17am

Thank you InsideLove, hopefully this site will help us all get through this devastating time.

Comment by Kimmy on October 26, 2017 at 8:22pm

Ive just picked up my husbands death certificate  - wow another reality check that im on my own forever im now listening to UB40 one of his favourite bands and crying my eyes out. Like insideLove i have two counsellors i see one mental health and one wellness but this site is a lifeline. Im frightened on how to go forward without him how can an independant woman not know what to do.

Comment by Tracy on October 26, 2017 at 5:54pm

Another day comes to a close.  Seems to me that is what I look forward to. Sleep and not thinking and reliving that moment .  My life has changed forever.  How do I go on without my husband. So much pain and anxiety. Married 39 years and passed May 28 ,2017, 6 days after his 68th birthday.  .  I missed him so much.  I'm so tired and have brain fog.  I am thankful for everyone here but very sad that we have to be here

Comment by InsideLove on October 26, 2017 at 5:03pm

SoundsofSilence, I am so sorry for your loss, my heart breaks for some of what I know and all of what I don't. Sadly I found my way here a short time ago, in addition to a counselor, and 2 grief groups in my community. They are all lifelines for me. It could be that for you too. My husband of 47 years died unexpectedly as well, 3 days after his 68th birthday. I hug you and sob with you. I'm sorry you even, like me, had to search such a place out.

Comment by SoundOfSilence on October 26, 2017 at 10:16am

It is very hard for me to come to the realization that my life will never be the same but it will not. I lost my husband Dan on Sept. 29th, 2017 very suddenly and unexpectedly. I was in California on business and hadn't even been there for 24hrs when I got the call from the state patrol, he had went into cardiac arrest in his SUV on the way to work, they did get his heart started but he suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen. I flew home and spent the week in the ICU with him but he did not wake up, I so wish he had woken up, he was my husband, my best friend and my everything. I talked to him on Sunday and he was fine, I was even showing him the beach and telling him that we should go there on vacation sometime soon. The only comfort that I can take from this is he was able to donate his organs and hopefully save some lives, and I am holding on to that for dear life. I feel I am still in complete denial, I kept telling myself this is just a bad dream and I am going to wake up and it never really happened. And I feel like I am saying this all the time, almost as a broken record but I just cannot believe that he is gone. I am so sad and scarred and I have no idea how I am going to get through this, it is over consuming.


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