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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."


Widowed in 2017

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

Check the 'Help' tab for more guidance or send questions to [email protected]

We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2016 group. There are active conversations there with others in their first year of loss.

Members: 158
Latest Activity: on Wednesday

Discussion Forum

A Ton of Bricks

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by Shoosie2 May 24. 7 Replies

Hi everyoneTomorrow is the 4 1/2 month mark that my Rick left his 'earth-suit' , and it's just really hitting me hard that my Rick won't ever be back. Ever. I tried to get that through my mind and…Continue

Making new friends

Started by Mike. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 19. 20 Replies

I read a lot about people who have a great support group of family and friends. But my wife was my best friend and my family is far away. So my support group is digital, either online or on the…Continue

Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed?

Started by Shoosie2. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Apr 17. 12 Replies

Good Morning EveryoneI haven't had much of a chance to post anything recently, but I do read everything. I just had to ask this question. Two days after my Rick passed, December 20, 2017, I was…Continue

ANC service on Feb 28 was beyond words

Started by InsideLove. Last reply by Rainy (Misty) Mar 8. 2 Replies

Marty’s Arlington National Cemetery service exceeds words, just as my grief for my missing him every day no words seem to be enough.We had 40+ family and friends in attendance. I hired a photographer…Continue

Comment Wall


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Comment by SoundOfSilence on December 28, 2017 at 8:54pm

I had a dream today of my husband Dan, it is the first real dream of him I have had (that I can remember and was not a nightmare). He woke up and we kissed like crazy, I told him "they said you were not going to wake up" and he cried for me and kissed me, then I woke up and it was over. Oh how I wished it was real and he had really woken up. I cannot stop crying.

Comment by HelensRay on December 28, 2017 at 10:26am

I know here you are AD1964, but at least the first part of this time is over.  Helen went 30th June and I do believe (hope) I am now on the way forward. I think (think!!) and hope I am now past grieving and now in just missing my Helen.  Missing her is bad but grieving is just so much more.  I don't know what the days ahead hold but I just hope I can live but hold on to my good memories of me and Helen.. Ray

Comment by adoption1964 (Kim) on December 28, 2017 at 7:14am

Well here it is a year later since my husband had the surgery to remove his right kidney, ureter and piece of his bladder.  Where is he now, gone.  This surgery was in hopes to extend his life.  Nope I truly think it shortened it; he passed on May 2, 2017 from Stage IV Kidney cancer.  He went so fast.  I have so many regrets these days.  Why did we do the surgery all it did was make a miserable road of recovery and then to go into Chemo/Pallative care for another 10 weeks.  My husband spent his last birthday in the hospital alone in so much pain.  Yes we both knew the risks however in hindsight I would think twice about the surgery.  This grieving process is such a rollercoaster ride.  I think I am finding some anger.  I thought that would have been earlier in the process.  Christmas was ok, he loved this holiday and all the lights.  Tomorrow is his birthday and man do I miss him.  I know all of you on here get the feelings. I have been in counseling for 4 months and it has helped; but I am on a rollercoaster backwards; at least it feels like that.

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 25, 2017 at 7:23am

We're hanging out in the WV chat room for anyone who finds themselves alone on Christmas day. Join us!

Comment by riverside on December 23, 2017 at 7:58am

I lost my husband, my soulmate of 40 years of heart attack on Nov 8, while we were vacationing in California.  it was very unexpectedly.  We both retired, just wanted to enjoy life with lots of travelling.  Then, boom, all gone !   I am totally unprepared.  After the initial shock and numbness, reality sinked in.  Every day, every hour, I am struggling, every morning, I wish I would  not wake up, to face another very very sad day.   

Comment by Carmen513 on December 18, 2017 at 4:42pm

Its not Christmas that bothers me, because thats Christs birthday (to me) its every day and long evenings that I miss every fricken day!

Comment by Soaring Spirits on December 17, 2017 at 8:51am

If you need some company on Christmas Day &/or New Years Eve, please join me in the Chat Room.

I'll be hosting the Chat Room on Christmas Day, so if you need a boost before heading off to a family gathering or find yourself alone and want to chat with others out there just like you ... please stop by.  I'll be keeping an eye on the room all day (I'm in the Pacific time zone).

I'll also be hosting a New Years Eve chat from 11pm Eastern time to 12:30am Pacific time.

Dianne in Nevada

Comment by Kimmy on November 9, 2017 at 1:39pm

Hello all its been six weeks since Owen passed away. I've just about finished the paperwork from his estate and have had nothing but help from all those i have had to deal with (i'm in Australia) My councellors have been so helpful in providing me with guidance and support as have friends and family allowing me to grieve and mourn with there full support. Im about to go back to work which will come with its own challenges but i feel im ready to face them. I have read lots of books which provide helpful and informative advice which i have found invaluable as i continue on this awful journey without my wonderful husband by my side. I have a new mantra now which is I AM BECOMING THE PERSON I KNOW I CAN BE rather than getting bogged down in my sadness which i allow myself to have when i have quiet time of an evening. I have found yoga very helpful with centering my thoughts which have a tendancy to all be negative if i allow them so im now using my breathing to help me when i find those destructive thoughts coming back. I have a long way to go and dont look to far ahead just a day at a time and if i get through one day then that is a positive. 

love and hugs

Comment by InsideLove on November 9, 2017 at 12:21pm

NancyD integrate your renewal/revitalization to honor what was, indeed makes sense to me. Beautiful.

Lately, I was thinking about (just planting seeds of thought around this) my husband's contribution to the local community. His favorite organization, which he was getting ready to step off the board at the beginning of 2018, he already bequeathed a financial gift. I want to somehow, carry his legacy forward, so he lives on beyond the gift. Of course, in all practicality, he was generous. It's just somehow I want to make that part of my integration.

I like that word you used NancyD - integration! That's what we are doing. It's not a "new normal" or "new life." Those phrases are cold, old and don't work at all for me. We're integrating the todays and tomorrows with our yesterdays to preserve our love. I think it is possible.

Thanks for the reframing into an easier to accept word - integration. In that way, our love, memories and who we were together with our loved one, stay with us.

Comment by NancyD on November 8, 2017 at 5:23pm

Inside Love:  You are so right about knowing intuitively that the loss of a beloved spouse is not something to "get through".  Where does that idea come from?  I know intuitively too that it is just crazy to think I could "get through" it somehow!  And I don't WANT to "get through it" even if that were possible.  I loved him too much to come out the other side unchanged.  Surely his life and our love are worth not just putting all in the past and pretending they didn't impact me.  I want to honor who he was and what we had and try to move forward in some sort of healthy way, integrating that, allowing myself to be changed by it.  Does that make sense? I don't know what it might look like.  I have to believe it will be possible.  And right now I can only do one day at a time and hold on to that hope.  

Thanks to all the folks here.  Your shares help. 


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