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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2019

We're so sorry you have a reason to join us. Please get acquainted here and make friends anywhere on the site.

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We are grateful you found us so soon after your loss, but until this group grows please feel free to also join the Widowed in 2018.

Members: 81
Latest Activity: yesterday

Discussion Forum

So many places to say goodbye

Started by DebiT. Last reply by AandC yesterday. 2 Replies

It’s been just over 6 months, and I may be just beginning to understand why so much is so hard.  I function pretty well in my normal routine of work and visiting grandkids monthly down south.  It…Continue

Lost

Started by Judyrose. Last reply by Judyrose Sep 9. 15 Replies

It’s been 3 months for me. It is the worst feeling in my life. Some days I think he’s coming back then I realize he’s not and have a breakdown. We were married for 48 years and I don’t like being…Continue

3 MONTHS AFTER

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by Pat in Ct Sep 6. 8 Replies

On April 2nd it was exactly 3 months since I lost my husband, my best friend. It was just him and I. We have close friends that have stayed close to me, but it seems like everyone has disappeared. It…Continue

All the Firsts

Started by Ozzy turtle. Last reply by Melissa Aug 29. 3 Replies

On September 2nd it will be 8 months, August 18th was our 10 year Anniversary, September 8th our 7 year wedding Anniversary. With birthdays, and the holidays to follow right after, then the 1 year.…Continue

Comment Wall

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Comment by CvilleSarah yesterday

AandC, I get it. A couple of folks became teary in the meeting yesterday, and it was totally appropriate and didn’t seem weird at all. However, I’m like you...for some reason I STILL don’t want it to be ME that does it. I don’t like looking that vulnerable in front of others especially if I don’t know them, and I also worry that if I really get going with crying I won’t be able to stop or something. If you come across anything convenient in your area, maybe just check it out, mostly sit back and listen? I hear you about being lonely and lost, that’s exactly how I feel <3

Comment by AandC yesterday

CvilleSarah. I thought about group therapy, but I just am not sure if it's right for me. I'd be a weeping widow. After reading your post about your grief group, I thought about it but there just isn't that much available here. But, I am going to do what you said you did "list all the things you miss about your loved one". I'll add that in my daily journal I write as if I'm talking to my husband. I am just so tired of being lonely and lost. 

Comment by CvilleSarah on Monday

Today, I went for the first time to a grief group...it was week 2 of a 13 week GriefShare group. Didn’t find out about it in time for week 1...oh well. Although maybe a little heavy on the religion for me, the facilitators and group members were really nice, and I think I’d like to go back. It comes with a workbook with daily exercises, and it seems like I’ll be able to use those to channel my grief time into something more productive than just sitting there staring, unfocused, with my mind running all over the place and never really finishing a thought. I did one today where you list all the things you miss about your loved one...writing them down made my heart ache, but at least it helped me focus on something. I debated whether it was too soon to go to a group, whether I was really ready, but I’m glad I at least went. I guess the most important thing is reminding ourselves that we only have to commit to one day at a time...one session...etc. Just do the best we can 

Comment by Debra on Sunday

I didn’t expect so many people in this group. It’s been almost 4 months for me. My husband of 40 yrs and 13 days died 100 days after being diagnosed with leukemia. He was only 64 and so very healthy, until this happened. We were traveling a lot in the 5 years since I retired and I haven’t been anywhere since he got sick. I decided to change that and later this month I’m getting out again. New Orleans, Las Vegas, Florida, Europe and Iceland are all being scheduled for the near future. I hope everyone here can find a way to continue living . 

Comment by AandC on Saturday

CvilleSarah and Morales

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know you hear this so often but I truely mean it knowing how loosing your spouse feels. It hasn't even been two months yet for me. It seems the pain gets worse on some days than others. It's a tough journey but talking with others openly about my husband has helped me. There are only a few people I talk to because others don't understand and are uncomfortable with it. 

Prayers and Blessings for you both. 

Comment by Morales on Friday

Hello, I'm so sorry for everyone loss. I lost my husband 3 months ago unexpectedly. Still waiting for Autopsy result. Some days are ok and some are extremely bad. This is my second husband that passed away. My first passed away from liver cancer. Life just has been unfair. 

Comment by Sueg on Friday

CvilleSarah, I am so sorry for your loss.  I am also new to this site. My husband passed away 2 months ago and I struggle every day to try and figure out what direction I should be going in.  Hugs to you as we go on this journey.

Comment by CvilleSarah on Friday

Hi all,

I am new to site as of today, thank you for having me. Although I am still somewhat in shock to be here, I am already comforted just a little reading some of these posts. Everything you are saying resonates with me, especially the “not knowing what to do now”, things we are doing alone that we are supposed to be doing with our loved ones, and the general feelings of fear, sadness, anger, and uncertainty alluded to. I am 34 years old, and lost the love of my life almost 2 weeks ago on 9/1. His decline started a few months ago after he was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis, and on 8/7 underwent routine surgery in hopes of recovery. After that, other issues surfaced that spiraled out of control, and he eventually succumbed to everything after about 3 weeks in the ICU. My friend and family want to be helpful, and they have been, but it is next to impossible for them to understand what I’m going through. After all, it’s not any of them l I really want, I just want my Joey back. There was a large age gap between us, but I cannot describe how compatible we were and how easy it was to love him. We were together for about 2 years, and best friends for several years prior. He was my first real relationship, as I had always been a little Leary of sharing my space and all that. But sharing our lives together was by far the greatest experience of my life. We had such a great little routine, stuff we liked to do together, tv shows, etc. I just can’t believe that the last time we did everything together was really the last time, and we didn’t even know it. When we left home the day of his surgery, I never would have fathomed he would never come home again. His memorial service was this past Sunday, and now it seems like life goes on, for everyone except me. For now, I’m just focusing on one day at a time. Still struggling with what to believe as far as where he/his energy/force/whatever is now. As I lay here in bed where he’s supposed to be beside me, with one of his T-shirts, my heart goes out to all of us dealing with this. Goodnight, and thanks for reading. 

Comment by Pualili221 on September 11, 2019 at 7:33pm

@ ChuckD, 

My husband's 7 month anniversary is on the 21st. I feel the same, death no longer scares me. When it is my time, I look forward to being with my husband once again. 

@Babycakes1993, @ AandC, @ Darlene, 

Sorry for your loss. Everything that you have said, I feel.  This month has already been a very hard month and I know it's because my husband's birthday is on the 27th. Earlier this month I accomplished something he encouraged me to do and I finally got licensed. I was not even happy, I was so sad that I cried on the drive all the way home.  He was supposed to be here with me to celebrate, it was for the both of us not just for me.  There are days that I wonder if I am truly living life and what for.  My days are filled with sadness, confusion, heartache and since his passing I have been forgetful and a scatterbrain.  There are days I don't know what left and right is. I miss him very much and I just feel so lost.  The pain is unbearable at times.  I have been reading the posts on here for a few days and it does help to know others understand and just having someone listen to our raw emotions. 

Comment by ChuckD on September 11, 2019 at 5:41pm

Yesterday was the 8 month anniversary of my incredible wife Robin's passing through the veil. I am always in awe of her strength and bravery. Handling her illness with complete dignity and courage. I miss her every day and want to always glorify and honor her and how much she means to me. I love Robin totally and look so forward to our reunion. as I have stated before She is my Hero and my soul mate.

 

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