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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Widowed in 2011

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Comment by Gail on September 22, 2014 at 12:40pm
I just received a card that read "I know you need to get through this on your own, in your own way...."

I can't "get through this". This is something I'll be living with the rest of my life. It's insulting! Grief isn't something you get through. I wish I could get through it and arrive on the other side feeling like I used to. That's impossible!

I just can't stand it anymore! Right now I am annoyed with most people. Good thing I'm home from work with my two dogs and don't have to deal with anyone or I think I'd scream!

Thanks for letting me vent!
G
Comment by Sharmann on September 22, 2014 at 5:43am
and then they seem surprised when I have a meltdown. I feel like these decisions I need to make, should I retire, should I sell the house, should I move closer to family, are all discussions I should be having with Steve.
Comment by Sharmann on September 22, 2014 at 5:26am
Hi Al. It's been a while since I have posted, but I have been reading some of your comments and can so totally relate. I feel that I am at a crossroads and just don't know which way to turn. I'm getting ready for work right now and all I want to do is stay in bed. I am finding that I just don't want to be with anyone or do anything. I'm sure on the outside it looks as though eepverythingnis fine, but I am so sad all the time. And I know it is related to being alone. I was on some family vacations in august and really enjoyed being around folks. Now that I'm home in this big empty house, I hate it. I'm going to,talk yo a realtor and I am pretty close to retiring, but then what?
Comment by Gordy's widow on September 21, 2014 at 12:42pm

dear Gail & slick, in the beginning of the summer I told my mil that we were going to say yes to every invitation got invited to a "new" neighbors kids grad party...in july I think it was. She thought we maybe wouldn't go becuase we didn't kn ow them that well. I said no we are going and glad we did... while in Boston my sil invited me to go to her neighbors for dinner as  my brother wanted to stay home I didn't know  a soul ..... it was hard it felt weird... mostly all couples... I ate and stayed for a little while to chat.....  later my sil told me she was surprised  I went .... and was proud I did... 

Not any invites or dates still not looking but trying to do more on my own...

Comment by t2 on September 20, 2014 at 8:33pm
Email me.
Comment by smit09 on September 20, 2014 at 8:30pm

T2,

its coming up to 3 years for me as well, and it seems impossible to avoid.

xoxox'

Comment by Barry on September 20, 2014 at 8:10pm

thank you. Risa had a fear of being forgotten. But everytime i see my grand Vivi i see her.She is 2 goimg on 22. She is the little love of my life

Comment by Cee on September 20, 2014 at 9:01am

And here is my annoyance for the week. Earlier in the week a man came by, introduced himself as being from a church service team that went out to help seniors. One of my other neighbors had directed him to me. At first I was really cautious about it. He said he would come by wed. to see if I had work for them and then Sat would be their work day. I talked to another person I trust and she knew of the group and of people they had helped. So I thought of a couple of outside jobs I could really use help with and looked forward to him coming back on wed. Well guess what, he did not come back Wed or today.  Not the best way to make a good impression for their group.  I was looking forward to it and feel let down.

 I just feel overwhelmed at trying to organize and clean up this place by myself. Some of the lifting and moving I physically can't do. But there is also so much that I don't know what to do with. I get caught up in wanting to find the perfect good home for things that I  don't do anything. It is also hard looking at all the things that were a part of project my husband was working on. I feel so bad that he didn't get to finish them and I feel bad for me that they are not done, I don't know how to do them and have no one to help me do them. ( I have tried several handyman ads in the local paper but either they want bigger jobs, or they don't come to this area or they just never call me back.

 OK off my soapbax. It does help to talk, so thanks for listening.

Comment by Cee on September 20, 2014 at 8:48am

Gail, So sorry about that "friend". You didn't say how long you have been having these weekly dinners, But there are other ways talk to people. If she is busy, she could have been honest and and maybe say to meet less often or at another time. If she really felt you were moving in different direction she talked about it. I know it would still hurt but at least you would understand. It isn't fair to you to leave you, as they say, "hanging"   Let her go and look to find someone who appreciates you.   I wish more of us lived closer to each other so we could get together.

Comment by Gail on September 20, 2014 at 5:02am
My "friend" who I used to see every week for dinner has told me she can no longer commit to weekly get togethers. She says she is too busy. Am I wrong for feeling like she's telling me that she doesn't have time for me?

The past few months she has cancelled on me about half the time. I'm hurt but just need reassurance that this hurt is justified. Oh yeah I should mention that she dropped off a card at my front door while I was at work so she wouldn't have to see me or talk to me. In it was a note explaining she's too busy.

I had a feeling this was coming. This friendship in retrospect has been fading for a while now. I'm just sad she didn't feel like she could talk to me about this. I guess the friendship wasn't what I thought it was all along.

Widville friends....I need you!

G
 

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