My name is Christie. I'm 54 and lost my husband Eric in April of this year. We have two kids, 15 and 20. Eric was sick with a very rare cancer (leiomyosarcoma) for 4 years and died at home after 5 1/2 months in hospice. I was the breadwinner and primary parent during Eric's grueling treatment regimen (2 surgeries, 8 different chemos, many rounds of radiation, 2 immunotherapy clinical trials), and I took a leave from work to care for him the last 5 months. While we had the "luxury" of a long goodbye, the caretaking took a toll on me and I feel like my grief is complicated. I do feel relief that the cancer nightmare is over, but now enough time has passed for me to start grieving the trauma that befell our family when he was first diagnosed and I desperately miss the healthy vibrant Eric that I shared a life with. Some days I am pretty happy and at peace. Others are much more emotional. Overall my kids and I are doing well. I am grateful that they seem to be very resilient. They are grieving but also glad their dad is not suffering any more. I have a wonderful support system of friends, neighbors, and coworkers but I don't know any other widows. I'm so glad I found this group!
Cindy W. says
Posted on October 13, 2023 1
I am SO sorry. I was my Mom’s hospice caregiver and it was rough!! I thought at that time I knew grief and loss, but losing my husband was SO much deeper!! I can’t imagine having to do that , although I would have of course. But I think that it also causes a kind of PTSD all it’s own to witness all that. I too have good and bad days, and days where I am shocked that I actually feel positive! It is just what it is and we have to get through it however we can.