"Rainy...your last line has really stuck with me. "Where has the beauty of life gone?".
My husband passed away from cancer 5 years ago. He fought the cancer for 21 months before that. So I lost all innocence 7 years ago. I…"
"I guess it is a good sign if we've all been off for quite some time. It's been over 5 years since my husband died. I've been busy taking care of my 3 children who are now 7, 10 and 12 years old. I feel like always…"
I'm so sorry to hear your story. You should have had so much more time together and it just doesn't make sense. I am so glad that you have reached out. I cannot imagine that you have many, if any, peers that can relate…"
"Too young...I agree with the other comments! I just passed the 5 year anniversary of losing my husband (January 17, 2013). My kids were at the time of his passing only 2 1/2, 5 and 7. Now they are 7, 10 and 12. It's weird for…"
I am so sorry to hear that someone's comments hurt you so badly. I too feel sad about the state of the world. Perhaps we all feel more for others, have more empathy because we know that love and loss cross all…"
I could have written your post. It has been 4 1/2 years. I do have a lot of friends but when the weekend comes there are no invitations over to BBQ, go fishing, go sailing to a nearby island, no dinners out. I know these things…"
"I feel like this is getting harder, not easier. I feel totally overwhelmed with life. Everything takes more effort than I have to give. I have 3 children and try to make them a priority but having trouble finding time/energy to…"
"So sorry Nanci. Yes, it will be four years since you lost Otis. My husband died on January 17, 2013. I am currently at 4 years and 2 months since he passed. for some reason I struggle with this too...also the spring…"
"Sasafras....I am so sorry. This stress is not what you need! I agree with Alex that you need to look into Social Security. The deal is that the kids get a lump sum divided between them. When the oldest turns 18 then…"
"I have read all of your posts...it is unfair that so many of us are suffering. I lost my husband 3 1/2 years ago on January 17, 2013. We have 3 children who are now 6, 8 and 11. Being a single Mom is so much harder than I ever imagined and it is NOT…"
"lizbeth...I feel those same feelings. My children are young still and I have lots of school events to attend. In my area there are VERY FEW single parents so I stick out like a sore thumb. I get very envious and sometimes angry.…"
"OK AJ I think we lead the same life! My youngest is also 5 (he just turned 5 in late April)....he has lived as long without his Dad as he did with him. That is truly hard to comprehend. It is the little things that get to me...as…"
"AJ: Fortunately I am a MD and therefore can always go by Dr. My children's friends all call me Mrs. though. I still feel like I am married so I am keeping the Mrs. I think you have every right to! I still wear my…"
"Brandy1977: unfortunately there is no road map for how to deal with grief. It is a very individual process. Even amongst your children they will each deal in a different way. I think that at this point you have to look for small victories: getting…"
Thanks for responding AMA, I really appreciate it .My dear friend who I now live next door to is a guy and very stoic and did I mention a man? so I know he would rather face a firing squad that see me cry so I don't. My son loved his stepfather so very much( and who he is as a man is because of him) but he does not get the depth of my despair nor do I want to burden him with it. You can't know unless you have been through it. I don't want to be remembered as this depressed person so I put on a happy face and suffer in silence. Since I am managing money and bills for the first time in 35 years and quite frankly it's the wrong side of the brain and think maybe I'm not going to make it here in this very expensive Silicon Valley...( my dog's grooming is more than what it was to get my hair colored in my little city) I keep thinking well if this happens (sell my short sale house or pay off my car ) worries would be less but I just get to the what's the use ? We lived with something that was so out of our control that I feel that is what rest of life will be. The other day my son texted me and told me to go to a movie by myself to which I had to say to him, if I was not already depressed going to a movie by myself would really put me into the despondent side. Everything is an effort. I want my life back. I want my husband back...Mr." it is what it is guy".
AMA so sorry for your loss. My spouse passed from cancer also. It is not easy trying to cope with life after a loss, you pray your way through and do the best you can. My daughter lives in Costa Mesa not too far from you. Having sunny days help, I live in Nevada and I don't think my moods would be the same if I still lived in the Midwest.
So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.