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Aly brabham
  • Jacksonville, FL
  • United States
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  • eliana
  • Dianne in Nevada

Aly brabham's Discussions

Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs

Started this discussion. Last reply by laurajay Dec 12, 2017. 22 Replies

Idk if it's healthy for unhealthy for me to keep all his items right where he left them... It's only been a little over 3 months and I still have his razor and deoderant by the sink, and I've washed…Continue

 

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Latest Activity

Mrs. M. replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"My husbands’ items remain in their original spot as well.  (e.g.) glasses on the nightstand, shoes by the door.  It’s ok.  We get to decide when we are ready to change things - no one else.  "
Dec 12, 2017
PK replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Pleas keep as much stuff of hers. Have someone help you put them in a storage ziplock. I promise you that you will want to go to these things and allow her personal scent to help you cope one day. Right now, place things out of your sight if…"
Dec 11, 2017
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I am only 1 month into the journey and I still have bags of clean laundry that belong to my wife that I haven't gotten up the energy to fold and put away somewhere.  I have not touched her den but it is on my list of things to tweak. …"
Dec 11, 2017
Maria Louisa replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"It is a sensitive process. It took me a while, but I got rid of his toothbrush and other dental things. I just tossed them in a moment of strength. I knew he would think it ridiculous to hang on to everything. Even so, it was after a year or two. It…"
Dec 11, 2017
Dianne in Nevada replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"It's still so early for you, Aly, please don't stress about any of this now. Are you getting out of the house for work or shopping? Are you interacting with others?  Then there's no need to worry. Holding onto things at 3 months…"
Dec 10, 2017
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Downsizing is a good idea w/that much stuff ... There's wrong w/hanging on to your husband's stuff - I find it odd when asked why I keep it. People forget about our kids as well my husband having been the greatest happiness &…"
Dec 10, 2017
Sheryls replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Whatever you feel to do for you is ok. My friends gave me a beautiful photo of the two of us, which I treasure. I blew it up and framed it. It is in our living room. I emptied both his dressers! But kept his dress shirts. I may make a quilt. They…"
Dec 10, 2017
Aly brabham replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"That is definitely so comforting to hear your points of view. I will be keeping his things where they are until otherwise I guess thank you all so much ❤❤❤"
Dec 9, 2017
without replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"SM I see myself in the same place 8 years from now, with Tom's things all around me. I do not see why I would want to get rid of them. I could fill the house with all sorts of things, but none of that would have the same value to me as his…"
Dec 8, 2017
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"At 10 years out I have most all of Bob's belongings except for some tools the boys wanted & a few items they girls chose. His clothes are in space bags w/a few still hanging ... Bob's medicine cabinet is intact as well as everything…"
Dec 8, 2017
Aly brabham replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Wow I am honestly surprised to hear so many others keeping their things for years, it definitely comforts me to hear that. I still have his toothbrush too..I guess I haven't gotten rid of anything yet I even threw away a hair product of his and…"
Dec 8, 2017
Callie2 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Aly, not crazy at all. I have to agree with the others, you'll know when. While I did get rid of some things like toiletries, I could not go through a lot of his personal things. I became very emotional--it sucked the little bit of energy I…"
Dec 8, 2017
vintage56(barb) replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I agree, you will know when it is time. One of the hardest things for me to get rid of was a large ziplock bag where I kept gauze pads, medical tape, LARGE bandaids, etc. He was always falling and skinning his knees and I would bandage them for him.…"
Dec 8, 2017
Sosammy replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"It has only been 50 days for me and the only thing I have been able to get rid of is his toothbrush. His pjs still hang on the closet hook and his clothes are still in the dresser and closet.  I am very much like you as I have washed everything…"
Dec 8, 2017
Aly brabham replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I'm glad to hear that too because I still wear his clothes often and I'm far from giving them away though he didn't really have much clothes that weren't for work..I appreciate the feed back it's nice to hear from those who…"
Dec 8, 2017
Athena53 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"We're all different but I don't think anyone would have been able to give away/throw away all traces of our loved one immediately and few will ever get rid of 100% of them.  My husband died a year ago and as I type this I'm…"
Dec 8, 2017

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At 7:49am on October 13, 2017, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Aly. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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