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Aly brabham
  • Jacksonville, FL
  • United States
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Aly brabham's Discussions

Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs

Started this discussion. Last reply by MidnightBear (Tony) Jul 30. 78 Replies

Idk if it's healthy for unhealthy for me to keep all his items right where he left them... It's only been a little over 3 months and I still have his razor and deoderant by the sink, and I've washed…Continue

 

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Latest Activity

MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I am fairly similar,  my wife's toothbrush is still in the cabinet where it was, her electric shaver still sits on the sink taking up space I could certainly use (small bathroom :D ).  Her hair towel still hangs on the hook just…"
Jul 30
norm replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Good for you, Jwick.  Don't let others dictate what you should keep and how you should progress even if they are in similar circumstances. norm"
Jul 29
shelley replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Ditto."
Jul 29
Jwick replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I do the same.  It has been a year and his toothbrush is still where he left it.  His hairbrush, shoes, clothes, even some condiments in the fridge that only he ate.  People who visit tell me I need to get rid of them by now.  I…"
Jul 29
Lost Izzie replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Thank you Callie. I have done my homework, this auctioneer takes his cut from the buyer, not the seller.  He is a very nice and honest man.  I've been watching his auctions and have met him in person.  I am putting reserves on…"
Jun 15
Callie2 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Hi Lost, So very sorry for the loss of your husband. I just want to tell you that auctions do not always produce a higher price—it goes to the highest bidder. Depending upon their knowledge of the instruments they may get a real bargain.…"
Jun 15
Lost Izzie replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"It's been almost 4 months now. The 23rd will be the memorial up in the mountains and the scattering of Charlie's ashes over his favorite spot in the world. I have finally decided what to do with all the guitars, amplifiers, etc. …"
Jun 14
Callie2 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Grieving is difficult and I think part of it is accepting they are really  gone and will not be coming back. We keep their things around because it is comforting but also a sign that we are not yet ready for this acceptance. Grief reaches deep…"
Jun 14
Mrs Bear replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I have keep his eyeglasses where he left them last.  His clothes are still hanging there but I did remove some of his things from the shower.  They made me cry every time I showered.  It's been 2 months and 5 days.  As I…"
Jun 14
Doug02122014 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Aly saw your post and wanted to reach out to you.   You don't know just how normal you are  ! I asked this same question in different words about 4 years ago when I first came on to Widowed Village.  Funny thing was I…"
Jun 13
norm replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"We both seem to be on that 2.5 year mark, KayeL.  Whatever routine works for you, keep it up.  We each have our coping/adapting mechanisms.  I think any of us would do anything to bring our spouses back, but it's like King David…"
Jun 13
KayeL replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"2.5 years for me. His razor and his electrical toothbrush are still on his side of the counter. His clothes are as is. I still put hand soap on his sink and mine with another. Religiously I replace his towels every month.  I wear his shirts, a…"
Jun 13
norm replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Seems to be more input from the widows than the widowers on moving/keeping the departed spouses "stuff". (To be expected; there are more of you than there are of us.)  For my part, after Mickey died I knew I didn't want to…"
May 1
ForeverMourning replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I haven't moved barely anything and it has been about 8 months.  His toothbrush, deodorant, etc. is all where he left it.  I washed his clothes and hung them back up, put his shoes in the closet.  My husband was a bit messy and…"
May 1
Athena53 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"laurajay, I know this won't last forever.  My husband Ron was 15 years older so I saw him slow down over the years.  I also saw it in my parents, of course.  Both were early adapters of an active, healthy lifestyle but age took…"
Apr 30
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I kept the kids - that always makes me laugh ... I also keep on display many of my mother's belongings as well as Bob's grandmothers ... There is normalcy in keeping a loved one's items including those not ready to part with ... …"
Apr 30

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At 7:49am on October 13, 2017, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Aly. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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