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Aly brabham
  • Jacksonville, FL
  • United States
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  • eliana
  • Dianne in Nevada

Aly brabham's Discussions

Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs

Started this discussion. Last reply by Lost Izzie on Tuesday. 44 Replies

Idk if it's healthy for unhealthy for me to keep all his items right where he left them... It's only been a little over 3 months and I still have his razor and deoderant by the sink, and I've washed…Continue

 

Aly brabham's Page

Latest Activity

Lost Izzie replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Not yet 2 months, but I did a clear up of the last dresser drawer and Charlie's nightstand.  I had three boxes -Trash- -Keep-  and -I Don't Know-  There was more Trash than I thought there would be.  The other two…"
Tuesday
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I just had another thought about this subject. It would be far more strange if not abnormal to remove all his belongings - mostly pictures ... It would be like erasing him, your marriage & past ... Sooner or later you will have to find a way to…"
Monday
norm replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"There is no "normal".  Whatever you do in the privacy of your own home and comforts you is your business.  JMHO."
Apr 12
Timelord replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Short answer - yes it is normal :-)"
Apr 2
SpringLight replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Immediately after Gary’s death, I felt the need to change my apartment, but since I was unable to get rid of his things, I focused on getting rid of my own junk and clutter instead. From there I progressed to clearing out one of his chaos…"
Mar 29
NancyD replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"This pretty much describes me, too.  I am slowly getting rid of things that I will never want.  And still there are MANY things of his all around me. I find I can clean out things of his like the bathroom drawers, the bedside table, every…"
Mar 20
GTG replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I am at 3 months of losing my husband to sudden death.  Luckily, he was extremely organized and was constantly cleaning out his closet, bath room, and office- and I am so glad that he did! It will one day make my job of moving his things…"
Mar 20
Lost Izzie replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I have been slowly removing those things that I never cared for, books I will never read, music I don't like.  This by no means leaves me with bare shelves and closets, just much less cluttered.  I have 1/4 of a closet full of clothes…"
Mar 19
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
""Moving on" means working out each issue as it presents itself in the grief process - the only goal is to heal. Exposure/systematic desensitization resolves sensitivity to lay the problem to rest. The last thing anyone wants is to recede…"
Mar 18
Hope replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"You get to decide. If you look on them and they give you joy, keep em. If every time you see one particular item it makes a wave of grief come over you, you might want to tuck it away for later, or give it away. Your decision, your process, nobody…"
Mar 17
Frank replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Hi, When I lost Susan, I printed a picture of her and placed it on the passenger seat in our van and I talked to her as I would drive down the road.  One day, I picked up one of my sons and he jumped into the truck and sat on the picture. …"
Mar 13
shelley replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"Went out to lunch today with some close friends and ran a few errands.  Suddenly realized that my husband's watch was not on my wrist.  I panicked, retraced my steps (which meant driving/walking for hours).  Even took all the…"
Mar 13
NancyD replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"That made me smile, shelley!  Sounds lovely and not weird at all."
Mar 11
shelley replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I also wear my husband's watch.  But his recliner- can't get rid of it.  As a matter of fact, I put his favorite shirt on a pillow and stood it up in the chair.  Then blew up a photo of his head/shoulders and tacked it to…"
Mar 11
NancyD replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I wear my husband's wrist watch.  Makes me very  happy.  (On the other hand I couldn't wait to get rid of his old leather chair---all I could picture was how very sick he looked sitting in it at the end. And after he passed,…"
Mar 11
Mrs. M. replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"It has been 27 months for me.  Everything is exactly where he left it, including his glasses on the side table next to our bed.  At first I kept them bc of his scent.  I have found over the past 2 years that I want his things around…"
Mar 11

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At 7:49am on October 13, 2017, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Aly. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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