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Angelina
  • Female
  • Knoxville, TN
  • United States
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I am trying to cope with the loss of my dear husband of 23 years. In September of 2014, he lost his battle with astrocytoma (brain cancer) and just when I think I have everything in check, I am blindsided by grief once again.

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At 5:55pm on March 19, 2015, sheri_baby said…

Thank you Angelina. I am sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I hate having to say that. I too have good and bad days. A song on the radio can set me off big time, I went to a concert with a few friends and there were couples dancing. That set me off big time. To realize there will be no more dancing with Ed. We were always on the dance floor. I have so many emotions too. My Ed had pancreatic cancer. He went fast. He was so healthy one day ran 5 miles every day. One day didn't feel good and 1 1/2 years later he is gone. We were married 42 years. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. Take care

At 4:39pm on March 5, 2015, leendah said…

I tried to rush "feeling better" too - wanted to jumpstart from the day I lost my husband into one year later.  Too bad it doesn't work that way, you got to feel it but you don't have to soak in it..........Take care Angelina.

At 11:52am on March 5, 2015, leendah said…

I just want to tell Angelina this is still so fresh for you - yes time heals some of the wounds but when it hasn't been very long give yourself a break and know you will feel this way and it's okay.  It's not great but it's okay because you need to grieve and not push the feelings away.  I still get the blues but 'absorb" them a lot better than I used to.

At 12:48pm on January 17, 2015, mixelated said…

Hi, Angelina,

The Robert Frost quote was "The best way out is always through." Somebody on the Widowed in 2014 group posted it. It's from a poem called A Servant to Servants.

"By good rights I ought not to have so much
Put on me, but there seems no other way.
Len says one steady pull more ought to do it.         55
He says the best way out is always through.
And I agree to that, or in so far

As that I can see no way out but through..."

i hope that helps. I know what you mean by feeling you've lost yourself. I feel the same way. I did OK yesterday morning, but the evening was bad... seemed to head for bed in some peace but I must have dreamed of my husband because I woke up in a bad space. Today's a struggle.

Hugs to you...

mix

At 6:18am on January 15, 2015, BESTBUDS1 [Norman} said…

Its a crazy journey for sure w/o our soulmate.. Wife was fit as fiddle , did all right things, walked and excercised each day , never sick, ate and lived right and then all changed in one day.. No rhyme or reason, i know the paralyzed feeling. always know you can vent scream or whatever you need to do here, here for each other in our time of need.... Blessings .. Norm

At 4:56am on January 15, 2015, BESTBUDS1 [Norman} said…

Hi Angelina , So sorry for your loss , I lost my love to brain cancer in dec 2013 was stage 4 when diagnosed and she lived 6 months 8 days..My heart breaks for us all, we are here if you need us,, Take good care, beautiful baby also.....

At 8:26pm on January 14, 2015, alwayshopeful (Jocelyn) said…
Hello Anglina. What a beautiful lady with a dear little baby. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your husband to brain cancer. Your grief is so new and raw. I'm glad you found this website so early in your journey to recovery. It takes a lot of hard work, but you will heal. I believe you will find understanding here like nowhere else. We all "get" how hard it is. Brain cancer changed my gorgeous husband's looks, his demeanor, he couldn't walk, talk or even see by the time he died. Before being diagnosed, he was perfectly healthy. It's still unbelievable to me, after over 2 years.
One day at a time, just like we handled their illness. Sometimes, it was just one appointment at a time. We can do this. Huge hugs!! I hope you find comfort here...
At 3:22pm on January 14, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Angelina. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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