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Athena53
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Athena53 replied to Jill's discussion How old were you when your spouse died? How does your age affect your self-concept now that you're on your own?
"TheEDCZone, give yourself time.  I lost my husband Ron in November, 2016 so I've had some time to figure out how I want the rest of my life to look (still not clear, but probably does not include marriage).  I got on Match.com last…"
Feb 13
Athena53 replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Let's Grumble
"Great topic!  When I look back at the men in my past life and think of what I want for the future, I realize Ron was the only true "match made in heaven", with whom I could have enjoyed 20 years together (married the last 13). BUT- he…"
Jan 28
Athena53 replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"There's something very poignant and personal about handwriting.  It really hits me between the eyes when I come across something Ron wrote.  My mother, who died the month before Ron did, had the most beautiful handwriting and it got…"
Jan 9
Athena53 replied to Owfw's discussion Over the one year mark and went on a date..So confused
"There's no rush.  I remarried after my divorce from my first husband but we dated for 7 years!  My son was 12 when I divorced; my Ex had a lot of problems and slunk away, which was merciful.   Totally different from being…"
Jan 7
Athena53 replied to Owfw's discussion Over the one year mark and went on a date..So confused
"Thanks for the update!  I've also been dating- my husband died in November, 2016.  After 3 meetings with guys on Match.com that didn't go anywhere (consistent with their profiles, nice guys, but not enough chemistry on one or…"
Jan 7
Athena53 commented on Rainy (Misty)'s blog post Simplifying isn't for the faint of heart but then neither is grief.
"Apparently I can't Edit comments- forgot to add that the average American buys almost 70 items of clothing per year!  I know I didn't so maybe your daughter makes up for it."
Dec 8, 2018
Athena53 commented on Rainy (Misty)'s blog post Simplifying isn't for the faint of heart but then neither is grief.
"Misty- so true about simplifying!    I haven't gone at it with the discipline you have, but I'm gradually "lightening up", including finding new homes for things that Ron brought into the marriage that I just…"
Dec 8, 2018
Rainy (Misty) left a comment for Athena53
"Althena!! (HUGS) It's good to see you posting again.  Congrats on your new grandbaby!  How exciting to have something so wonderful to look forward to!"
Dec 8, 2018
Athena53 replied to ImTheMarigold's discussion Ugh. Dating. in the group Widowed in 2016
"sunshine, thanks for that eloquent post.  I had a short relationship with a former college classmate last year which ended when he had a stroke that left him with permanent limitations.  He's on the other side of the country now,…"
Dec 8, 2018
Athena53 replied to ImTheMarigold's discussion Ugh. Dating. in the group Widowed in 2016
"I put up a profile on Match.com this summer, 1.5 years after Ron died.  Our wedding vows included "Till death do us part" and we had a good and faithful marriage but it was time to invoke the "till death do us part" clause.…"
Dec 7, 2018
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Tekwriter, I worry about this all the time.  No surgery scheduled, but last month I needed a dental implant placed under sedation and had to hire a service to drive me there and back home (oral surgeon required that it be someone who waited…"
Nov 28, 2018
Athena53 replied to Mike's discussion Dating in the group Born in the 50s
"An update on my experiences with Match.com:  Guy #1 lost interest after 2 meetings.  Not the end of the world.  I was pretty much myself when we met so if he didn't like what he saw, not much I could have done differently. …"
Oct 21, 2018
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I haven't been on much lately- lots of things got slammed onto my schedule at once although they're all good.  (Weekend of classes an hour away till last Sunday, drove 3.5 hours to Des Moines Monday to see DS and his family, took the…"
Oct 20, 2018
Athena53 commented on Pegasus's blog post Making Progress
"I'm glad you feel better with the empty spaces.  I'm finding that I enjoy that more and more.  I never did like clutter and it's so much easier to clean the house when there's less Stuff in it.  My son and…"
Oct 10, 2018
Pegasus left a comment for Athena53
"Like you, I was quite a bit younger than my husband. He was 13 years older.  The only difference is that he controlled the finances, paid bills, etc.  I never worried about money.  I had always been in charge of the house so no change…"
Oct 10, 2018
Athena53 commented on Pegasus's blog post Making Progress
"Yes, that IS progress and maybe it will get easier when you see how good you feel with the two vehicles no longer taking up space.  My husband Ron died two years ago and, like you, I'll never get rid of 100% of his things, especially a…"
Oct 8, 2018

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Athena53's Blog

"A sculpture that Creates Intense Emotion"

Posted on July 14, 2018 at 4:33am 9 Comments

Wow.  My SIL posted this on FaceBook yesterday; here's a link to the entire article.

https://totallybuffalo.com/a-sculpture-that-creates-intense-emotion/

The sculptor has been widowed but says he was given "a second slope in life" where he's able to enjoy…

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Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories

Posted on October 24, 2017 at 8:57am 1 Comment

I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows.  He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that.  I was also 15 years younger.  I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just…

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 7:55am on December 8, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Althena!! (HUGS) It's good to see you posting again.  Congrats on your new grandbaby!  How exciting to have something so wonderful to look forward to!

At 8:45am on October 10, 2018, Pegasus said…

Like you, I was quite a bit younger than my husband. He was 13 years older.  The only difference is that he controlled the finances, paid bills, etc.  I never worried about money.  I had always been in charge of the house so no change there when he got sick.  I did take over maintaining the lawn and eventually, when it became obvious that he was having trouble keeping up with bills, I took charge of paying the bills as well. I didn't know then that the reason he was forgetting to pay bills was because he had dementia.  In hindsight I kick myself because I saw signs that something was "off" a year before he became ill but I didn't insist that he see a doctor. He was a stubborn man and refused to see doctors; he always thought he knew what was wrong and how to deal with it. 

I'm so glad you faced your fear of grilling and are now enjoying its benefits.  I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm not ready to face my fears.  I worry every day about being head of household and that I am solely responsible for myself and my developmentally delayed son.  I think I'd know what to do if it were just me but my son lives with me and probably always will and that complicates things.  

Still, it's been just 3 months since Bob died so I'm still getting the hang of all of this.  The estate is still in probate; I'm hoping that'll be finished by the end of this month.

So I guess my only victory is that I'm willing to do what I have to do to get things done.  

At 12:22pm on September 4, 2018, Yesterdaysgone said…

My husband was 77 and I am 15 years younger also and yes he was slowing down but I thought we would have ten or more years.  Like you I am learning to do things that were his category.  I read directions on changing the weed water string and disassembled the vacume to unclog it.  I said "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me" .  God is faithful to help widows, I believe.

At 2:46pm on November 28, 2016, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others.  Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help. Below is a link that you might find helpful as a new member.

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/need-help-using-the-site-ask-here

 
 
 

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