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Athena53
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Athena53 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"We're all different but I don't think anyone would have been able to give away/throw away all traces of our loved one immediately and few will ever get rid of 100% of them.  My husband died a year ago and as I type this I'm…"
Friday
Athena53 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Let's Get Acquainted
"Met in 1996, married 2003.  This was taken in 2002, when we both had brown hair!  Lost him to acute myeloid leukemia 11/15/2016."
Dec 2
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"I know exactly what you mean, Sue- it's called "people-pleasing" and it's one of my biggest weaknesses!  It is VERY hard for me to call people on their bad behavior and if I do and they deny it, get defensive or get…"
Dec 2
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"Slick, you HAVE to walk away.  You don't deserve to be treated like this.  If you ask yourself the old Dear Abby question of "Am I better off with him or without him?" I think you'll get the right answer. I'd swear…"
Nov 30
Athena53 replied to Riley's discussion How do you turn a 2 person life into a 1 person life? in the group Widowed in 2016
"Most of the time I think I'm OK-  I even booked a trip to Edinburgh and Paris in September and am really happy about it- but this early winter darkness is doing a job on my brain.  Tonight after gathering with friends for a…"
Nov 25
Athena53 replied to InsideLove's discussion Is morning or night worst for you? How do you get through it?
"I'm doing pretty well but now that winter is coming in I really feel alone at night.  My husband died a year ago so you'd think I'd have noticed this last year; maybe I was in more of a fog than I thought.  I feel it when…"
Nov 23
Athena53 replied to MissHIm11's discussion Cleaning out the pantry = major tears!
"Susan, getting rid of the wine is easy- I like wine! I'm a bit lax about "expired" foods.  This summer I found some fish filets in the freezer that DH had packaged and dated February, 2014.  Somehow the things with his…"
Nov 20
Athena53 replied to MissHIm11's discussion Cleaning out the pantry = major tears!
"I guess there's something especially difficult about food- we all have some sort of emotional relationship with it.   DH did all of the cooking when he was healthy and his style was very different from mine:  down-home meat and…"
Nov 20
Athena53 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion NOVEMBER Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"My dear husband Ron died a year ago today.  I'm so grateful it was peacefully and at home, with support from hospice, and I have mostly good memories of his last days. It's been a very full year as I build a different life without…"
Nov 15
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Ron and I were/are both avid travelers so yes, Ron knew it would be good for me.  I've done plenty of business travel on my own so I'm used to finding my way around places. I hadn't thought of it but I did a lot of the…"
Nov 7
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"I know what you mean, Susan.  I've been over and over it and I guess it's the way I'm wired and the discussions Ron and I had before he died as well as anticipatory grief.  I'd also been able to keep up outside…"
Nov 7
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"I still can't get used to the word "widow".   It reminds me of sorrowful figures dressed in black. I've just decided that that's ONE of the many things I am- Mom, Grandma, a retired actuary, an avid bicyclist and…"
Nov 7
Athena53 commented on The Hungover Widow's blog post Ending an Emotionally Abusive Relationship
"Thanks for the cautionary tale.  My first marriage was emotionally abusive, fueled by his alcohol consumption and (probably) bipolar disorder.  Good for you for gathering up the strength to break it off.  There's no such thing as…"
Oct 30
vintage56(barb) commented on Athena53's blog post Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories
"I have always been somewhat introverted but I started volunteering at a food shelf and got promoted to team leader. I find I really enjoy it and it keeps me very busy. Big step outside of my comfort zone. Oh, and I did my taxes all by myself this…"
Oct 29
Athena53 posted a blog post

Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories

I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows.  He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that.  I was also 15 years younger.  I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just couldn't…See More
Oct 24
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"IrishLady, is there any way you could just focus on the relationship with the grandchildren?  I'm blessed- I have a wonderful relationship with DS (my only child) and DDIL, but I'm really enjoying one-on-one time with my 3-year old…"
Oct 18

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Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories

Posted on October 24, 2017 at 8:57am 1 Comment

I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows.  He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that.  I was also 15 years younger.  I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just…

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At 2:46pm on November 28, 2016, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others.  Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help. Below is a link that you might find helpful as a new member.

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/need-help-using-the-site-ask-here

 
 
 

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