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Athena53
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Athena53 replied to Rainy's discussion Let's Grumble
"Ron hoarded pain pills.  In fairness, I should say that he had genuine back problems and he never abused them- in fact, he was reluctant to take them because they left him feeling dopey and resulted in the infamous Opioid-Induced…"
6 hours ago
Athena53 replied to Riley's discussion How do you turn a 2 person life into a 1 person life? in the group Widowed in 2016
"Not strange at all!  I gave most of Ron's clothes away but his socks and underwear are still in the drawer.  Not really worth donating and I can't bear to throw them out. Ron died in our bedroom, but in a hospital bed supplied by…"
yesterday
Athena53 replied to Rainy's discussion Let's Grumble
"Last month I was vising family and reminiscing about Ron.  My BIL said, "There's nothing bad you can say about Ron".  I replied, "He was an apathetic housekeeper".  And he was.  When we married, I was 50,…"
yesterday
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"I'm so glad you finally detached from this guy.  My first husband was a master manipulator, verbally abusive, controlling and financially irresponsible.  (Sorry if I'm repeating what I've already posted here; I know…"
yesterday
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"Yeah, that would be a dealbreaker for me!  I've never had a pet and I'm perfectly nice to other people's animals, but when they restrict someone's activities that much, I'd consider that a red flag."
Tuesday
Athena53 replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"When Ron and I downsized a few years ago I found a wonderful book called "Rightsizing Your Life" by Ciji Ware.  You hit on a couple of her pieces of advice.  One was for collections of anything: keep the few that are the most…"
Tuesday
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"And, unless you're in cougar territory, the guy is going to have a similarly-aged body.  At this age, I expect sexual attraction to build up slowly as minds connect."
Tuesday
Athena53 replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"Thanks for your honesty on this, Dianne.  Without going into too much detail, I'm in a similar situation- I've also developed a treasured friendship in which dating is not an option.  I have a wonderful life on my own but it…"
Sunday
Athena53 replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"Timelord, please don't be so hard on yourself- you didn't "throw away 25 years of marriage".  Even the most orthodox of religions believe that someone who is widowed is no longer bound by marriage vows.  Most of us feel…"
Sunday
Athena53 replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"wildflower, thanks for your encouraging story.  One of the things that really bothered me about the dating sites was the number of men looking for significantly younger women.  It's always been that way- I saw it in singles ads back…"
Saturday
Athena53 replied to Rainy's discussion Practical Questions as a NEW WIDOW
"I DREAD buying another car.  This one is a 2012 so hopefully it will last. I last bought one myself in 1991.  Ron even shopped for one and sent me the pictures after he'd narrowed down the choices while I was out of the country! …"
Jan 12
Athena53 replied to Rainy's discussion Practical Questions as a NEW WIDOW
"I was lucky in many ways.  I've always managed the money- Ron was an English major and I was a Math major and have been avidly interested in investing since I was young.  So, it was pretty much "business as usual" with the…"
Jan 12
Athena53 replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"I've got really mixed feelings about dating again. My first marriage was to a verbally abusive, financially irresponsible alcoholic.  (What can I say?  My bio clock was going nuts and I did get a great son and now two beautiful…"
Jan 12
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Heck, yes. I lost my mother in October, 2016 and my husband in November.  Both had lived good, long lives and chose palliative care when diagnosed with cancer that was unlikely to benefit from aggressive treatment. A month later I had my…"
Jan 9
Athena53 replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"Bergen, I also liked the idea of freecycling things- in my case I used Craigslist and just put items at the end of my driveway, although I did meet a few people who came to pick things up.  One was a guy who was thrilled to get Ron's power…"
Jan 9
Athena53 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Welcome, Dez, and I can understand your feelings.  My husband died at age 78 of acute myeloid leukemia 6 months after his diagnosis, but the ravages of a predecessor disease (polycythemia) and the meds used to manage it had taken their…"
Jan 8

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Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories

Posted on October 24, 2017 at 8:57am 1 Comment

I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows.  He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that.  I was also 15 years younger.  I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just…

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At 2:46pm on November 28, 2016, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others.  Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help. Below is a link that you might find helpful as a new member.

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/need-help-using-the-site-ask-here

 
 
 

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