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Athena53
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Athena53 replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"I had an interesting encounter with one of the guys I met on Match.com- a sweet, smart man whose wife had died only a couple of months earlier after a long fight with cancer.  SHE had told him to find happiness again.  So had his…"
Nov 6
Athena53 replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"I was married to a wonderful man and the marriage was a match made in heaven. He died almost 3 years ago and my first relationship was less than a year after he died- re-connected with an old friend from college.  I'm now dating a very…"
Nov 5
Athena53 replied to Hope's discussion Little Family? in the group Born in the 50s
"I'm in a similar situation, due mostly to geography.  My son and DIL and their 3 kids live 3 hours away in Des Moines.  I go up there every couple of months- it's really a major operation for them to get here (5-year old, almost…"
Oct 16
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"More comments on earlier posts on this subject:  when you're eligible for a pension they typically offer you $X per month with no survivor benefit, something less than $X per month with a 50% survivor benefit and something even less that…"
Oct 10
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Bergen, you may want to visit early-retirement.org.  I was referred there by someone on another Board when I retired at 61- not as early as some of the people on the Board, but I've still learned a lot.  There are many discussions on…"
Oct 10
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"On my last cruise I met a group of women from "Women Traveling Together"- it's an organization that chooses from existing companies (my cruise was a ship under 100 passengers on UnCruise) but gathers a group of women who go on the…"
Oct 9
Athena53 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Claire, I understand what you're saying.  My husband Ron was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia at age 78, after years of being gradually weakened by a precursor disease (polycythemia).  He'd once hiked portions of the…"
Sep 13
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Sueg, please don't panic about the second year.  If there's one thing I've learned form reading all the posts here, it's that we each have our own path and there's a VERY wide range around "normal", Others…"
Sep 13
Athena53 replied to JeffS's discussion What's wrong with me?
"Jeff- there is no "right" way to grieve and this is a place where people understand that.  What I've never seen here is, "It's been X months/years so move on, get over it", nor have I seen, "How can you be…"
Aug 29
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"I'd respond to that ad!   And the guy I'm dating is not six feet tall, handsome or rich. He's smart, considerate, cuddly and-yes, funny. A finely-tuned sense of humor is essential for me.  And it sure beats some I've…"
Aug 26
Athena53 replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"I haven't been here in quite awhile although I still get e-mails from discussions in which I've participated.  Short recap: widowed in November, 2016 when my husband Ron died of acute myeloid leukemia.  I'm now 66. …"
Aug 26
Athena53 replied to JustLynn's discussion Do you think you’ll get married again?
"EDC, thanks for your honesty about this- but I can't believe that only one month after Lisa's death you were already getting the question of whether you planned to date again! I also lost my husband after an extended illness (acute…"
Aug 4
Athena53 replied to JustLynn's discussion Do you think you’ll get married again?
"No, but not for the reasons many people cite here.  Ron died in November, 2016.  He was 15 years older so I know it was the likely scenario.  When we married I was 50 and he was 65 so it wasn't my first time around the…"
Jul 7
Athena53 replied to Lissa's discussion social security widow/widower benefits in the group Born in the 50s
"My husband died in late 2016 and I found the people in the local SS office very helpful- they even looked up what I could have collected on my Ex's record (he was also deceased).  I retired at 61 and was 63 when Ron died, but hadn't…"
Jun 25
Athena53 replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"I'm 2.5 years out and, while I made a decent start getting rid of some of Ron's things after he died, it's an ongoing process.  It takes time to develop enough perspective to know what you no longer need in your life, even if it…"
Jun 19
Athena53 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I haven't been on in awhile but still get updates on this thread.  It's been 2.5 years since I lost Ron and I can identify with what Bergen, especially, said.  There are moments that really drive home the point that you're…"
Jun 11

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Athena53's Blog

"A sculpture that Creates Intense Emotion"

Posted on July 14, 2018 at 4:33am 9 Comments

Wow.  My SIL posted this on FaceBook yesterday; here's a link to the entire article.

https://totallybuffalo.com/a-sculpture-that-creates-intense-emotion/

The sculptor has been widowed but says he was given "a second slope in life" where he's able to enjoy…

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Outside of our Comfort Zones: Small Victories

Posted on October 24, 2017 at 8:57am 1 Comment

I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows.  He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that.  I was also 15 years younger.  I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just…

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 7:55am on December 8, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Althena!! (HUGS) It's good to see you posting again.  Congrats on your new grandbaby!  How exciting to have something so wonderful to look forward to!

At 8:45am on October 10, 2018, Pegasus said…

Like you, I was quite a bit younger than my husband. He was 13 years older.  The only difference is that he controlled the finances, paid bills, etc.  I never worried about money.  I had always been in charge of the house so no change there when he got sick.  I did take over maintaining the lawn and eventually, when it became obvious that he was having trouble keeping up with bills, I took charge of paying the bills as well. I didn't know then that the reason he was forgetting to pay bills was because he had dementia.  In hindsight I kick myself because I saw signs that something was "off" a year before he became ill but I didn't insist that he see a doctor. He was a stubborn man and refused to see doctors; he always thought he knew what was wrong and how to deal with it. 

I'm so glad you faced your fear of grilling and are now enjoying its benefits.  I'm ashamed to admit it but I'm not ready to face my fears.  I worry every day about being head of household and that I am solely responsible for myself and my developmentally delayed son.  I think I'd know what to do if it were just me but my son lives with me and probably always will and that complicates things.  

Still, it's been just 3 months since Bob died so I'm still getting the hang of all of this.  The estate is still in probate; I'm hoping that'll be finished by the end of this month.

So I guess my only victory is that I'm willing to do what I have to do to get things done.  

At 12:22pm on September 4, 2018, Yesterdaysgone said…

My husband was 77 and I am 15 years younger also and yes he was slowing down but I thought we would have ten or more years.  Like you I am learning to do things that were his category.  I read directions on changing the weed water string and disassembled the vacume to unclog it.  I said "I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me" .  God is faithful to help widows, I believe.

At 2:46pm on November 28, 2016, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others.  Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help. Below is a link that you might find helpful as a new member.

http://widowedvillage.org/forum/topics/need-help-using-the-site-ask-here

 
 
 

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