"I have to agree that January is a very difficult month - even after 7 years. I also feel some relief for getting through the holiday months. Here in Colorado, we have many days of sun so for me, January isn't bleak but the reminder…"
"It been over 7 years and I still (occasionally) have him in my dream. What is weird is that he never speaks in these dreams. Wonder if it means I'm forgetting his voice - which I know I'd recognize if I heard it. …"
"Tekwriter, My thoughts are with you and sending you a virtual hug. It will get a little easier each year. I'm passed the 7 year mark. I miss him like crazy still. Your husband and mine would not have us feeling so…"
"Riet, Muns and LP, It's been 7.5 years since my husband passed and the joy of Christmas still has not returned. It gets a bit easier but the traditions died with him. I'm lost at trying to create new ones because it just…"
"I receive a lot of those photo greeting cards at Christmas. The happy faces of a complete family or a couple. We've never sent those out as I've designed our card each year but knowing that I will not have that chance…"
"Shelley, That was a very clear minded train of thought you documented for us. You have emerged from the fog. It is a wonderful decision that you made. Sending you a virtual hug and hoping you make it through the holidays…"
"Shelley, I agree with TP. I would hold off on making any big moves so soon. I know the feeling of restlessness in the first few years of loss. I would only suggest that you stay put for a while. You may appreciate all the…"
"It's been 7 years and I still find it hard to decorate for Christmas. It's a joyous holiday that I find no joy in. Kind of feel like a zombie going through the motions.
I volunteer for the Holiday gift market and give an…"
"This time of year is very trying for all of us. Even the Christmas carols are about joy and family sharing the holiday spirit. These songs are not sung for us. I will put on my holiday face and live through it as I have done for 7…"
"I, too, have seen my husband's twin several times in the past years. I couldn't breathe and felt like my insides seized up. Knowing it wasn't him but so much like him brought all the painful wounds to surface.
"Shelley, LP and Tekwriter, I'm in the middle of year 7. Like all of you, I moved through year 1 like a zombie. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Just know that you aren't crazy or irrational, just…"
"I have to add to this thread. For the first few years I felt dead inside. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. By the next few years, I felt as if I was drugged and just going through the motions. The next few years I…"
"To all of us that find special dates and holidays unbearable, I have found a way to give purpose to my husband's legacy. The year after he passed, I started up a clothing drive for at risk youth for the youth shelter where he worked until…"
It's time to contact the insurance oversite commission. If that doesn't work, your state rep. may be of help. I've had my state rep help me out on a big issue and he and his staff took care of it for me. …"
I'm so sorry you are feeling that nasty punch to the gut. We are all here for and have all felt it at times. Take care of yourself. Maybe write him a long letter and tell him how you feel. I find it…"
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I am recently retired from a very demanding profession and am still learning how to be retired. I keep busy with my jewelry designing, sewing and art. I will be volunteering at our history and science museum. I love the arts, gardening and travel.
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i am a widow much longer than u douhave children are they closewithuthathurtsidontknowhow olduare but thetimegoesby very quickly auditsashamewhenu are at odds with ur own flesh and blood cant go to him as i am worried he will start with me and at this point i just cant take it.im not retired as u have to work maybe that keeps me going but not haooyas i should be hope we can be friends.elaine
Welcome Barzan: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat.You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"