... Well, God decided otherwise. I have fallen off the edge. I haven't been to this site in weeks. Everyday, I told myself to come here and just vent, but I couldn't. My stubbornness took over. Well, this would've been our first Christmas together as husband and wife. God said no. I don't know why he said no, but he did. I miss him so much. I was at the store the other day looking through the aisles for simple bare necessities and kept seeing things that John would want me to buy or make and…Continue
Well, I finally got one of my husbands' death certificates when I received his ashes...
I called the Social Security office to only run into a brick wall. I'm not eligible to receive any benefits of any kind. According to them, we weren't married long enough. I don't see how the length of our marriage mattered, but apparently, it does. The way the state sees it, I'm not worth helping out. Idk. I'm still searching for work, but nothing has caught on yet. I was so devastated this…Continue
I told a friend of mine that I'd gotten the call to come get them. She offered to come with me, but I felt strong enough at the time. I figured I'd go get him and come on back home. I received him along with a death certificate. It was horrible. I got him back to the car, put him in the front seat and cried. I actually talked to his ashes. "We're gonna go home, Ok?" He didn't say anything. I don't even remember the drive back. I guess that was that Widow's Fog kicking in again. I just…Continue
I wake up and I'm mad that he's not here still.
I talk to him like he's here and I think it's frustrating that he's not. I'm sick of the phone ringing. If one more person asks, how are you?... I'm gonna scream. How the heck do you think I am. My husband, my friend, my ace, my body heat in the bed, my lover, my friend, my other half is gone. So I don't answer the phone. I'm not…Continue