Cindy, thank you so much for your comment left on my wall. I am sorry for your loss also, and I am glad that I found supportive people. This has been the most difficult time of my life, losing my wife, but hopefully with time, and support, the pain will lessen...
Cindy - the rain stopped here and the stars are out tonight. It is hard to believe the events of the past five days. I collected close to 35 inches of rain on my patio. I had no flooding here but just a couple of miles away homes are being flooded everywhere. They are calling this an 800 year flood - how do you prepare for something of this magnitude. Not sure when the office will reopen. The two airports here are still closed and most roads are still closed. Have a great evening.
Cindy- thanks for saying that talking with me has helped you. It has really helped me to talk to you also. Some days it teally hits me that not inly did I lose the husband of my children making me a single patent but I lost my best friend of 25 years. I lost the only person who was always there for me and who put my needs above his who was my safe place. I don't think that I will ever find the kind of love we had again. My Husband would have been 46 on July 19. He had just turned 21 when we met but i am 7 years older than he was so I suspect I will spend the rest of my lufe without a partner. I have great kids who love me and we are still the close loving family we were when there was four of us but I never once had to question my husband's fidelity or love for me never once jn 25 years and I will never have the security he provided ever again. I had plenty of relationships before I found him and he was the first man who ever truly loved me. I miss him so much. I find myself wanting to tell him about something I saw on tv or something I read in an email almost every single day. The days I don't cry are when I am able to push all the feelings down and just go numb. I find that I am pretty good at that and can go for weeks and only cry little tears instead of the broken hearted sibbing I do when I let myself feel the pain if losing someone who was such a great father and husband and my friendpyp. We were so close to getting to "our time" as we called it. Our daughter will graduate in 4 years and go off to college and we were funally going to be just the two of us. We started luving together ine week after we met, got married a year later, got pregnant six weeks after we got married and had our son 7 weeks begore our 1st anniversary We had so many plans for when all the kids were gone and we would be alone again like when we got married.
Thanks Cindy it really does help to talk about my husband and I teally don't have many people in my lufe that I can do this with.
I hope you are doing well and that work is going good too.
Hi Cindy, sorry I hadn't gotten back to you sooner but I find that every so often I have a couple of really bad days and atruggle to be strong for my kids and incapable of writing about my situation. I guess this web site had some changes? I usually follow the link at the end of your email and then cluck a little comment bubble at the bittom of a page that only showed my previous comments to you but everything was different this time. Guess I better keep up with things and be here every day! Ok see how I managed to talk about something else?! I just saw the little fairy my husband drew on my daughter's wall when she was 5 something we have been planning to paint over for a while now and it dawned on me that he would never draw anything for her again and how precious that little picture suddenly felt and how I just die inside when I think about all the things she will miss out on and all the things he planned to share with her as she got older. Sirry nothing but sadness and pain today. I hope you are doing well. Lynn
Hi Cindy - I know what you mean about "firsts". We have been thru quite a few already. My daughter's birthday (she had a really hard time) then Mother's Day which was just a little lonely not having my husband pampering me all day then Father's Day rolled around and I just fell apart every time I saw a commercial or card display in a store. My 23 year old son got thru his birthday pretty well last week but my husband's birthday is on July 19 (he would have been 46) and then after my birthday on Aug 4 we have our 24th anniversary on Aug 12. This summer is turning out to be one of dread. We used to love the summer since we had a celebration every 2-3 weeks all summer long. I am trying to figure out what to do about my anniv since I really don't want my children to see me in such pain. I really try to be strong in front of them even tho I do get teary eyed a lot. Only my son has heard ny deep sobs (he has cried with me on many a day) but my 14 year old daughter has suppressed all of her feelings and hasn't shed a single tear for her Dad. I worry so much for her because she was very close to her Dad and I know she is hurting even if she denies it. Anyway I will have to stop thinking about all the firsts to come and do as you mentioned - baby steps. I hope you have family close to help you out and maybe take away at least some of the loneliness of not having your partner by your side.
Your emails have really helped me start to talk about my situation and I can't thank you enough. You are in my prayers and I hope you have more and more "happy" days as time passes. Take care - Lynn
Cindy, thanks for the info on the chat feature. I haven't figured out all of the features yet but so far everyone I have "met" has been super sweet and very helpful. I know what you mean about thinking about your husband every day. Some days I feel like I just lost my husband and others it feels like he has been gone for much longer than five months. It is nice to be able to talk with someone who can understand what I have been hoing thru.
Cindy, thank you for reaching out to me. I too lost my husband of 24 years in February. I have done a lot of reading and a lot of crying in the 3 days since I found this site. I have found the love and support so freely given a great comfort. I am hoping that I will be able to write about my own situation someday soon but for now just reading has helped me. I am truly sorry for your loss and hope that your generosity towards others gives you a little piece of joy in your life.
Welcome to Widville, CLT1965. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.