Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Canshifter
  • Female
  • North Easton, MA
  • United States
Share on Facebook Share

Canshifter's Friends

  • Athena53
  • Cindy
  • lyn
  • Morgana (Janet)
  • AuntT (Steph)
  • Dianne in Nevada

Canshifter's Discussions

What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?

Started this discussion. Last reply by frankenpickle on Monday. 32 Replies

I was told that at least I have enough money.I told person i would trade that to get husband back after I picked up teeth.Continue

 

Canshifter's Page

Latest Activity

frankenpickle replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"About 6 weeks after I lost my beloved wife of 34 years, a (male) co-worker said- "You are gonna have a hard time getting laid if you keep wearing that wedding band". I glared at him, replied- "Thanks for the pointer". He mumbled-…"
Monday
Rainy (Misty) replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Nancy, WOW WOW I'm left pretty much speechless too!  "
Sunday
NancyD replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"A few months after my husband died, I ran into an acquaintance who said, "I'm so sorry to hear that Frank passed."  I smiled and said thank you. (Lots of practice in gritting my teeth and saying thank you.) Then she smiled and…"
Sunday
Broken Diva replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Thank you Loveboo for saying that about Dennis.  He was a great man.  We both came from nothing....He did marginally in college but ended up becoming a CEO of a company.  He always credited me for him becoming that too since I went on…"
Dec 30, 2018
loveboo replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Thank you Broken Diva. What I initially wanted to say was "Dennis sounds like a great man".  Again, another standard message my mind automatically thought up to try to comfort the grieving, I feel like a hypocrite now so let me try to…"
Dec 29, 2018
Broken Diva replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Loveboo, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful wife.  I will pray for HER....your posts were outstanding.  I totally understand...my husband passed away suddenly - he wasn't sick or anything!  I'm still trying to…"
Dec 29, 2018
loveboo replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Could someone help me reframe something in my head? I've been seeing many comments like "prayers for you and your family" as one of the standard things that people say.  I say thank you but in my head I'm thinking "why…"
Dec 28, 2018
loveboo replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Firstly, I don't blame people at all.  It is very very difficult to know what or how to grieve when we are going through it.  It'll be the biggest mystery for third parties and even close family and friends who have yet to needed…"
Dec 28, 2018
Rich replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Two days after my wife died a friend since I have known from 6th grade said " Well now you can start living it up and go on vacations" How do you respond to that?"
Dec 28, 2018
Broken Diva replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"One of the worst things someone said was my doctor!  When I went to him for medication, he said, "It will take about 6 months!"  Oh, really???"
Dec 7, 2018
IHaftaBeStrong replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"They are still asking, I reply, :"just fricken wonderful" and walk on. I'm not this kind of person, but we do, what we have to do. Glad you have a friend that understands. I cherish mine."
Dec 7, 2018
Doug02122014 replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"IHaftaBeStrong, I remember the return to work after bereavement leave (a wopping 3 days) and had the same thing happen to me. You know, I got the rock star treatment where everyone all 104 employees had to ask the same question "how are you…"
Dec 6, 2018
IHaftaBeStrong replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I was just asked Sun, by a co-worker "If I like single life"? I walked away sobbing so hard I was gagging. Another one that is really bothering me "How are you doing"? I just want to reply, how the hell do you think I'm…"
Dec 5, 2018
rm2121 replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"She doesn’t work ananda yes, she can pick up the kids but she doesn’t want to because it’s an inconvenience to her. My mom has been selfish all her life. "
Oct 7, 2018
Dee1960 replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"What? Picked up teeth?  Not sure I even understand that...  My mother-in-law said "losing a son is worse than losing a husband".  That said, her husband was an alcoholic abusive SOB, and I thought, but didn't say,…"
Oct 6, 2018
Dee1960 replied to Canshifter's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Jeepers! I thought I heard it all.  -- can't believe it  -- but still, um , if you did kill yourself, who would pick up the kids from school? I think that would grandma's job ..... right?  Hang in there, people can be awful."
Oct 6, 2018

Profile Information

“THE MAYOR”

 

AS I WATCHED YOU APPROACH THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WINDOW WHERE I WORKED, I KNEW I HAD TO GET TO KNOW YOU.

 

AS I WATCHED YOU AS I WALKED DOWN THE AISLE I KNEW YOU WOULD BE THE ONE I SPENT MY LIFE WITH FOREVER.

WE SPENT 36 YEARS TOGETHER.

WE TRAVELED, BERMUDA, CARIBBEAN AND A FEW DIFFERENT STATES.

 

AS I WATCHED US CHANGE OVER THE YEARS THERE WERE UPS AND DOWNS

 SOME OF THEM WERE HISTORICAL AND BROUGHT MANY LAUGHS ALONG THE WAY.

THE FALL THRU THE LADDER

THE FALL OFF THE DOCK TWICE IN ONE DAY

THE CLOTHES LINE POLE ATTACKING YOU

THE CONVERSATIONS AT THE KITCHEN TABLE AFTER ASKING

WHAT YOU DID FOR THE DAY—AND THE LIST WENT ON, THE ROCKS, THE BUSHES, THE TWIGS, THE BRANCHES, AND THE GRASS.

OUR DATE NIGHT WITH THE BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE

 

AS I WATCHED YOU WHEN OUR DAUGHTERS WERE BORN, I KNEW THE LOVE YOU HAD FOR THEM WOULD BE UNCONDITIONAL.

 

AS I WATCHED YOU WHEN YOU WATCHED YOUR DAUGHTERS CROSS THE STAGE DURING GRADUATION, I SAW THE PRIDE IN YOUR FACE.

THE GRADUATION AT BRIDGEWATER WAS HISTORICAL WITH YOU WAVING OUTSIDE WHILE WE WERE DRIVING THINKING WE WERE IN THE PARKING LOT.

 

AS I WATCHED YOU WHEN YOU WALKED YOUR DAUGHTERS DOWN THE AISLE EACH TIME I SAW THE HAPPINESS IN YOUR FACE.

THERE WAS SUCH HAPPINESS ON BOTH THOSE DAYS AND SUCH WONDERFUL SON-IN-LAWS WERE WELCOMED INTO OUR FAMILY

 

AS I WATCHED YOU WHEN EACH GRANDCHILD WAS BORN, I SAW THE BEAMING SMILE FOR EACH ONE.

EACH ONE HAD SUCH A SPECIAL MEANING TO YOU

THE MONKEY WALK

UP TO PAULY’S HOUSE

FHOD(FAMILY HANG OUT DAY) WAS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU

 

AS I WATCHED YOUR FACE WHEN WE STEPPED INTO OUR HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THE LAKE WAS PRICELESS

WE GAVE YOU THE NICKNAME “MAYOR OF THE LAKE”

YOU SEEMED TO KNOW EVERYONE AND EVERYONE KNEW YOU AND THE FAMILY.     

 

AS I WATCHED YOU SLIP AWAY, I KNEW IT WAS TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

 TO “THE MAYOR”

I COULD FEEL MY HEART BREAKING BUT I KNEW IT WAS TIME.

AS I WALK THRU THE HOUSE I SEE ALL THE PICTURES AND AM FLOODED WITH THE MEMORIES.

I STILL COME IN THE HOUSE AND TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY AND HOW THE GRANDKIDS LOVE GRAMPA (GAMPY, GAMPA, PAPA),

I KNOW YOU WILL BE WATCHING OVER US, WE FEEL YOU AROUND US ALL THE TIME

YOUR DAUGHTERS WILL MISS AND THINK OF YOU ALWAYS.

WE KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE “MAYOR OF THE CLOUDS”

 

SO MANY WILL MISS YOU AND I SAW THIS AS THEY CAME TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS.

THEY TOLD ME HOW YOU HAD AFFECTED THEIR LIVES AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REMEBERED.

YOU WILL BE IN OUR HEARTS THRU THE BIRTHDAYS, GRADUATIONS AND HOLIDAYS.

 

OUR LOVE TO “THE MAYOR” ALWAYS.

Comment Wall (1 comment)

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

At 3:44pm on September 11, 2018, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, Canshifter. You’ll find caring support and friendship here. Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum Discussions and Chat Room for conversations on all sorts of topics. Share your story. You'll find the latest news on the HOME page.

 
 
 

© 2019   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service