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DIVA70
  • Female
  • Matteson, IL
  • United States
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DIVA70's Discussions

Choosing to be a recluse

Started this discussion. Last reply by Justme Sep 26, 2019. 10 Replies

It has been 15 months since my husband of over 47 years passed away. I would like to say that I have moved on and life is getting better. That would be a lie. On April 29,2018 my life literally…Continue

 

DIVA70's Page

Latest Activity

DIVA70 replied to Maggie's discussion DEPRESSED
"First, let me say it has been quite awhile since I have posted any response. Even now I am very reluctant. My husband passed away April 29, 2018. I came to this site when I was in the depths of despair and it has really been a source of needed…"
Jul 24
DIVA70 replied to Dennis(not)theMenace's discussion I need stories of hope that show we can successfully find love again after loss- Please post how you found love again and how you are still doing as a new couple
"Dennis, I am truly sorry for your loss and I am glad you came to this site. This is a club we did not volunteer for but one which we must accept. You said you are looking for stories of those who have found love again. So, I wont bore you with my…"
May 2
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"Usually I go to the cemetery on certain special days...my birthday, his birthday, Fathers Day, Veterans Day,Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since he's in a Veterans cemetery I try to go whenever they have something special to honor the veterans.…"
Apr 25
DIVA70 replied to Hilda's discussion Thank you in the group Widowed in 2019
"Hilda, like so many others I am sorry  for the circumstances that led me to this site. But I am so thankful at the same time. This site has been my anchor. Next week will mark the second anniversary of my husband's death and like you I am…"
Apr 24
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"Yes, I agree. There are no set rules as long as it is not a safety or health hazard.. It will be two years on April 29 since my dear Tony passed away. Last week it dawned on me that I had not touched any of his personal items in our bathroom. We had…"
Apr 23
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2020
" Tom, I have journaled practically all my life. I have always found writing to be cathartic. I'm even sure some of the decisions my mother made for me in my teen years was influenced by her unlocking my diary and reading my entries. I…"
Apr 22
DIVA70 replied to Alma's discussion None months ago today
"First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. It's so hard to find the right words but I want to share something with you that I haven't shared with anyone else. But that's what I like about this site. I can say what I truly feel.…"
Apr 22
DIVA70 replied to Rich's discussion How are you handling the Coronavirus outbreak?
"Actually, I am handling it quite well. Maybe, it's because I am retired....I am at home most of the time anyway. Maybe its because my daughter and I bulk shop as a rule so when people were making raids on toilet paper, hand sanitizer and other…"
Apr 16
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"1. If I had a million dollars, I would take my immediate family to Hawaii (16),pay off my credit cards, help my children and donate to charity 2. If I had to play a musical instrument, I would play the piano. I took lessons when I was young and…"
Apr 14
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"book girl...first please accept my sincere condolences. Please, try to be kind to yourself as you adjust to this new journey. My soulmate and I were together for 50 years, married for almost 48 years. How do I find a reason to get up each day?…"
Apr 5
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"laurajay, I just want to say thank you for your words of encouragement and your message of hope. Usually I have much more to say but the only words I have today are thank you and God bless you and all of you who have shared your deepest expressions.…"
Apr 5
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"1. WYR lose the ability to read or lose your ability to speak?       Lose the ability to speak....I can stand the thought of not being able to speak but not being able to read is unimaginable!2. WYR have a golden voice or a silver…"
Apr 1
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Long-Term Illness
" I too am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I met in the 6th grade. We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to different high schools but reconnected when he returned from Viet Nam and I was in college. I was 22 and he was 24 when we…"
Mar 27
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"1. what was your 1st pet and his/her name? collie,Stinker2. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid? No, but I had a Shirley Temple doll that I loved3. What was your favorite subject in high school? English4. Did you earn an award or get a…"
Mar 27
DIVA70 replied to Impala Princess's discussion Corona is making my partner's passing so much more difficult in the group Widowed in 2020
"I am so so sorry to hear of your loss and how your grief has been compounded by COVID 19. It is overwhelming.....but what I found helpful was to try to prioritize what I needed to do to survive. In my case there was a holdup in getting my…"
Mar 23
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"1. A ballerina 2. the 70s...I loved the Temptations and Marvin Gaye 3. everybody is dealing with something 4. hot pants...I had the shape but my personality wasn't suited to the attention I got 5. it wasn't a haircut...it was a bad…"
Mar 22

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DIVA70's Blog

I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN

Posted on January 12, 2019 at 8:51am 4 Comments

APRIL 29,2018 MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, OVER 47 YEARS AS MAN AND WIFE. OVER THE YEARS WE HAD MANY SONGS THAT REFLECTED THE LOVE WE SHARED. THIS MORNING I HEARD THE SONG LADY GAGA SINGS IN A STAR IS BORN AND IT SUMMARIZES MY FEELINGS SO PERFECTLY. I HAD WHAT MANY HOPE FOR IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT. WE HAD SOMETHING THAT WAS SO SPECIAL AND JUST FOR US. SO AS I LISTEN MY TEARS ARE MINGLED WITH MY SMILE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE REUNITED. UNTIL…

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HOLIDAY JITTERS!

Posted on November 1, 2018 at 5:48am 3 Comments

Well, it's November 1 and the holiday season has officially begun. I for one am already starting to get the holiday jitters. Fortunately, my Tony and I had long ago cut ties with the commercialism of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our focus was on experiencing the "true" meaning of the season. For us that meant reaching out to friends and family with gestures of love...i.e. a visit to the nursing home to cheer up a family member or baking cookies with grandma and grandpa, etc.  Of course this…

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My Heart Still Aches

Posted on July 29, 2018 at 12:22pm 6 Comments

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…

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Fathers Day

Posted on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am 0 Comments

WELL, My Dearest,

             We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…

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At 9:44am on June 15, 2018, riet said…

Dear Diva,

Reading your post, it struck me how close your experiences are similar to mine.  My husband died on the 20th of last April. He was suffering from braincancer.  He fought against it for 4 years with every force in him. He wanted to live and live and live.  He was my soulmate, my best friend, my love for almost 50 years.  We met when I was 15 and he was 23. 

The opposition from both our communities even brought us together more strongly as ever.

We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren who miss their dad and grandpa terribly. My dear husband lived for me and his family.

And as in the poem: he was my North, my South, my East and West, I thought it would last forever and I was wrong.

I still can't cope with his dead. There are times I just scream his name and hope he will hear it.  Or I close my eyes and pretend he is standing next to me. 

How do you manage to go on with your recent terrible loss?

I  thought I was prepared because of the grief we had before he died. The cancer had destroyed almost all functions of his body. He was almost completely paralyzed. He lost almost completely his speech and his sight. And still he wanted to battle till the last day.

He didn't want to return to a hospital or a hospice, so with the help of our daughter who nursed him every day in the last month, he could stay and pass away in our home. 

I miss him so very much.  And just like you, I melt down sometimes. In places we went together,  hearing a song we both liked, seeing the flowers he planted last year.

And I am so angry sometimes. The thought I never never see him again, is unbearable to me.  We never can share any jokes, or any memories no more .

People keep telling me this will change . At this moment I don't see that.  I only want to get those horrible last months out of my mind.  I want to see my darling as he was before this disease entered in our life. Before he was so dependent on help.

But it is difficult to find again my caring, creative, lovely husband again. I have to watch old photos to see this.

You experience this for about the same time as me .

So I wanted to say hello to you .

All the best to you

Riet

At 9:20am on June 6, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi Diva, I noticed you on my blog and chked to see if you were new here.  I see that you are, WELCOME!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  The struggle is real but not impossible.  I hope you'll find courage, strength and companionship here, just as I have. 

At 8:26am on June 4, 2018, Patience said…

Welcome to Widville, Diva70.I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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