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DIVA70
  • Female
  • Matteson, IL
  • United States
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  • Melissa
  • Patience
 

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Latest Activity

DIVA70 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
"First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I looked at the picture and it's easy to see how beautiful your wife was. I think that's a beautiful idea to have your picture in the hall way. Of course, as time goes on there are many…"
yesterday
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"So sorry for your loss....my husband's cousin also died of breast cancer. Because we lived the closet to her my husband was her contact person after her husband. Once she was unable to reach her husband and called us for assistance. we…"
Thursday
DIVA70 replied to Jill's discussion How old were you when your spouse died? How does your age affect your self-concept now that you're on your own?
"I think age does make a difference to some degree. My husband was 71 when he passed away. I was 70. We were together 50 years. We raised three children and have eight grandchildren. We were empty-nesters and retired. Despite his being on dialysis we…"
Wednesday
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
"Thanks ….another great song....my husband and I always paid attention to the lyrics of a song. The message in this song reflects how I feel daily."
Tuesday
DIVA70 replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off
"My husband has been gone almost ten months now. Recently, a relative was having major surgery. I went to the hospital to support her children as they awaited the outcome of the surgery. The surgery went well and we were waiting to go to her room to…"
Tuesday
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
"I never imagined there were so many songs out there about loss......and so many that would touch me in such a special way. I listened to 'One More Day" by Damond Rio and I love it! Thank you!"
Tuesday
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Melissa I can certainly relate to how  you are feeling. On April 29,2018 my husband of 47 plus years passed away and on that day I feel as if I died too. It has been almost ten months and I can say that my heartache has not diminished one iota.…"
Tuesday
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Melissa, I can certainly relate to how you are feeling. My husband of 47 plus years passed away almost ten months ago and the I count April 29, 2018 as the day I died too. I come from a very religious family and from their perspective I should count…"
Tuesday
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
"Thank you again...I listened to "Imagine That" and liked that one too. "
Feb 7
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
" Thank you. I listened to "And So It Goes" by Don Williams and immediately downloaded the song. It made me smile as I thought about the last conversation my husband and I had. We had no idea that less than an hour later he would be…"
Feb 7
DIVA70 replied to Hopesmom's discussion miscellaneous
" 36 years ago my dad passed away . He was everything to me. I was his princess. I couldn't imagine anyone hurting more than me. Yes, he and my mom had been high school sweethearts. Yes, they had been married 43 years and had faced so many…"
Feb 5
DIVA70 posted photos
Feb 5
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
" I actually have several but the one that really expresses the essence of how I feel is " I'll Never Love Again" by Lady Gaga. My other two favorites are" To Where You Are" by Josh Groban and "If You Only…"
Feb 5
DIVA70 replied to Kmelli3 (Kate)'s discussion Question about companionship
"First, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. I think most would agree that the loneliness is what hits you the most. After nine months without my soulmate that is what I find the most painful and I truly understand how difficult it is at this…"
Feb 5
DIVA70 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
"My husband and soulmate of 50 years built our dream home 30 years ago. We raised our three children in this house and enjoyed so many wonderful moments in this house. However, it was never our intention to stay here forever. Our next move was going…"
Feb 5
DIVA70 commented on Pegasus's blog post Life Changes
"Whoever said "Death changes nothing" has most certainly not been on the journey I am on now. When my husband died on April 29,2018 EVERYTHING in my life changed. Imagine meeting your husband in the sixth grade and than being reunited years…"
Feb 1

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DIVA70's Blog

I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN

Posted on January 12, 2019 at 8:51am 4 Comments

APRIL 29,2018 MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, OVER 47 YEARS AS MAN AND WIFE. OVER THE YEARS WE HAD MANY SONGS THAT REFLECTED THE LOVE WE SHARED. THIS MORNING I HEARD THE SONG LADY GAGA SINGS IN A STAR IS BORN AND IT SUMMARIZES MY FEELINGS SO PERFECTLY. I HAD WHAT MANY HOPE FOR IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT. WE HAD SOMETHING THAT WAS SO SPECIAL AND JUST FOR US. SO AS I LISTEN MY TEARS ARE MINGLED WITH MY SMILE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE REUNITED. UNTIL…

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HOLIDAY JITTERS!

Posted on November 1, 2018 at 5:48am 3 Comments

Well, it's November 1 and the holiday season has officially begun. I for one am already starting to get the holiday jitters. Fortunately, my Tony and I had long ago cut ties with the commercialism of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our focus was on experiencing the "true" meaning of the season. For us that meant reaching out to friends and family with gestures of love...i.e. a visit to the nursing home to cheer up a family member or baking cookies with grandma and grandpa, etc.  Of course this…

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My Heart Still Aches

Posted on July 29, 2018 at 12:22pm 6 Comments

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…

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Fathers Day

Posted on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am 0 Comments

WELL, My Dearest,

             We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:44am on June 15, 2018, riet said…

Dear Diva,

Reading your post, it struck me how close your experiences are similar to mine.  My husband died on the 20th of last April. He was suffering from braincancer.  He fought against it for 4 years with every force in him. He wanted to live and live and live.  He was my soulmate, my best friend, my love for almost 50 years.  We met when I was 15 and he was 23. 

The opposition from both our communities even brought us together more strongly as ever.

We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren who miss their dad and grandpa terribly. My dear husband lived for me and his family.

And as in the poem: he was my North, my South, my East and West, I thought it would last forever and I was wrong.

I still can't cope with his dead. There are times I just scream his name and hope he will hear it.  Or I close my eyes and pretend he is standing next to me. 

How do you manage to go on with your recent terrible loss?

I  thought I was prepared because of the grief we had before he died. The cancer had destroyed almost all functions of his body. He was almost completely paralyzed. He lost almost completely his speech and his sight. And still he wanted to battle till the last day.

He didn't want to return to a hospital or a hospice, so with the help of our daughter who nursed him every day in the last month, he could stay and pass away in our home. 

I miss him so very much.  And just like you, I melt down sometimes. In places we went together,  hearing a song we both liked, seeing the flowers he planted last year.

And I am so angry sometimes. The thought I never never see him again, is unbearable to me.  We never can share any jokes, or any memories no more .

People keep telling me this will change . At this moment I don't see that.  I only want to get those horrible last months out of my mind.  I want to see my darling as he was before this disease entered in our life. Before he was so dependent on help.

But it is difficult to find again my caring, creative, lovely husband again. I have to watch old photos to see this.

You experience this for about the same time as me .

So I wanted to say hello to you .

All the best to you

Riet

At 9:20am on June 6, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi Diva, I noticed you on my blog and chked to see if you were new here.  I see that you are, WELCOME!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  The struggle is real but not impossible.  I hope you'll find courage, strength and companionship here, just as I have. 

At 8:26am on June 4, 2018, Patience said…

Welcome to Widville, Diva70.I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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