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DIVA70
  • Female
  • Matteson, IL
  • United States
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DIVA70 replied to Jo's discussion Wedding rings in the group More Than One Loss (Multiple Losses)
"First, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I lost my husband a little over eleven months ago. It will be a year on the 29th of April. I have decided not to remove my wedding ring. I have worn the same ring for over 47 years and I have…"
Tuesday
DIVA70 replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Has anyone else gotten worse as time goes by?
"When I hear people say it will get better I just want to pick up a bat and knock some sense into them. It is almost a year since my Tony left and it has not gotten better. In fact I just had a major meltdown a few days ago and I expect to have more.…"
Monday
DIVA70 replied to JK (OK)'s discussion Having a hard time taking my wife off of accounts, etc...Is anyone else having trouble? Is it important?
"So sorry for your loss. Its only been a little over 2 months . During those early weeks and months I just did what was absolutely necessary. In fact by the 4th month I felt so overwhelmed I had to get away. I took a little hiatus to a resort with…"
Monday
DIVA70 replied to JK (OK)'s discussion Having a hard time taking my wife off of accounts, etc...Is anyone else having trouble? Is it important?
"Its been almost a year since I lost my soulmate. Since we had joint ownership of our home there was no problem. The bank simply transferred everything into my name( we still had a mortgage). My lawyer handled transferring the title of that property…"
Monday
DIVA70 replied to KJPE's discussion Crazy - taxes in the group Born in the 50s
" I put doing taxes in the back of my mind. And then I got the call from our tax preparer. I set up a date and started getting the information I needed together. I had no idea it would hit me like it did. My husband was meticulous about keeping…"
Apr 7
DIVA70 replied to KJPE's discussion He deserved so much more love in the group Suddenly Widowed
"I talk to my Tony all through the day. We loved to take pictures and videos. Every now and then I will watch the one of him with one of the grandbabies on his lap as the other three played foosball. Hearing his laughter and how happy he was helps to…"
Mar 21
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Lostandlonely, I am sorry that you have to go through this but I understand. It has been almost eleven months since I lost my Tony and despite what I may look like to others I know I will never be the same. What you are feeling is just a part of…"
Mar 21
DIVA70 replied to Portpom's discussion How do you share without worrying people? Also is it normal to be in denial?
"I truly understand how you feel. It will be a year for me on April 29 and my emotions have been all over the place. I seem to be crying more the closer I get to the one year mark. I said something to my youngest son about my mental state and the…"
Mar 10
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?
""Through the Years" by Kenny Rodgers and "When I'm Gone" by Joey and Rory"
Feb 26
DIVA70 replied to Cindy's discussion How do people get through this pain ?
"Cindy, what you are experiencing is part of this journey of grief that we are on. It's been ten months for me and I am finally realizing that I may be on this journey of grief for quite some time. I don't choose to be but it is what it is.…"
Feb 24
DIVA70 replied to GrievingandLost37's discussion The Shock Has Worn Off in the group Suddenly Widowed
"So sorry for your loss. This is not a 'club" we joined voluntarily. It is good to have supportive family and friends during this time. We accept what we can not change and hopefully begin to carve out a 'new" normal It's…"
Feb 23
DIVA70 replied to Riley's discussion Tired of grief in the group Widowed in 2016
" I don't know if its my age or what. I just know that I am looking forwaed to being reinited with my husband. I hope that doesn't sounf morbid because that's not my intentions. Like you I love my kids and grandchildren and I do…"
Feb 22
DIVA70 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
" I know it wasn't an easy decision but I applaud you for keeping your promise and proceeding with your plans. The love of my life passed away April 29,2018. Every year for the past several years we would make a to do list for the new year.…"
Feb 21
DIVA70 replied to Riley's discussion Tired of grief in the group Widowed in 2016
"Except for the parts about the animals, tennis  and your age (I'm 71) this could have been me writing this. EVERYTHING else is exactly how I feel. I wake up each morning wondering why am I still here. My daughter did get me out of the…"
Feb 21
DIVA70 commented on Noelene T's blog post Noelene Tauris
"Beautiful! Thank you for sharing. April 29th will be a year for me and already I am getting anxious. Maybe that's why I'm having trouble sleeping. So much in your poem resonates with me and echoes my feelings. I have friends who have been…"
Feb 18
DIVA70 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
"First, I want to say how sorry I am for your loss. I looked at the picture and it's easy to see how beautiful your wife was. I think that's a beautiful idea to have your picture in the hall way. Of course, as time goes on there are many…"
Feb 15

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DIVA70's Blog

I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN

Posted on January 12, 2019 at 8:51am 4 Comments

APRIL 29,2018 MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, OVER 47 YEARS AS MAN AND WIFE. OVER THE YEARS WE HAD MANY SONGS THAT REFLECTED THE LOVE WE SHARED. THIS MORNING I HEARD THE SONG LADY GAGA SINGS IN A STAR IS BORN AND IT SUMMARIZES MY FEELINGS SO PERFECTLY. I HAD WHAT MANY HOPE FOR IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT. WE HAD SOMETHING THAT WAS SO SPECIAL AND JUST FOR US. SO AS I LISTEN MY TEARS ARE MINGLED WITH MY SMILE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE REUNITED. UNTIL…

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HOLIDAY JITTERS!

Posted on November 1, 2018 at 5:48am 3 Comments

Well, it's November 1 and the holiday season has officially begun. I for one am already starting to get the holiday jitters. Fortunately, my Tony and I had long ago cut ties with the commercialism of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our focus was on experiencing the "true" meaning of the season. For us that meant reaching out to friends and family with gestures of love...i.e. a visit to the nursing home to cheer up a family member or baking cookies with grandma and grandpa, etc.  Of course this…

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My Heart Still Aches

Posted on July 29, 2018 at 12:22pm 6 Comments

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…

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Fathers Day

Posted on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am 0 Comments

WELL, My Dearest,

             We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…

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At 9:44am on June 15, 2018, riet said…

Dear Diva,

Reading your post, it struck me how close your experiences are similar to mine.  My husband died on the 20th of last April. He was suffering from braincancer.  He fought against it for 4 years with every force in him. He wanted to live and live and live.  He was my soulmate, my best friend, my love for almost 50 years.  We met when I was 15 and he was 23. 

The opposition from both our communities even brought us together more strongly as ever.

We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren who miss their dad and grandpa terribly. My dear husband lived for me and his family.

And as in the poem: he was my North, my South, my East and West, I thought it would last forever and I was wrong.

I still can't cope with his dead. There are times I just scream his name and hope he will hear it.  Or I close my eyes and pretend he is standing next to me. 

How do you manage to go on with your recent terrible loss?

I  thought I was prepared because of the grief we had before he died. The cancer had destroyed almost all functions of his body. He was almost completely paralyzed. He lost almost completely his speech and his sight. And still he wanted to battle till the last day.

He didn't want to return to a hospital or a hospice, so with the help of our daughter who nursed him every day in the last month, he could stay and pass away in our home. 

I miss him so very much.  And just like you, I melt down sometimes. In places we went together,  hearing a song we both liked, seeing the flowers he planted last year.

And I am so angry sometimes. The thought I never never see him again, is unbearable to me.  We never can share any jokes, or any memories no more .

People keep telling me this will change . At this moment I don't see that.  I only want to get those horrible last months out of my mind.  I want to see my darling as he was before this disease entered in our life. Before he was so dependent on help.

But it is difficult to find again my caring, creative, lovely husband again. I have to watch old photos to see this.

You experience this for about the same time as me .

So I wanted to say hello to you .

All the best to you

Riet

At 9:20am on June 6, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi Diva, I noticed you on my blog and chked to see if you were new here.  I see that you are, WELCOME!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  The struggle is real but not impossible.  I hope you'll find courage, strength and companionship here, just as I have. 

At 8:26am on June 4, 2018, Patience said…

Welcome to Widville, Diva70.I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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