Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

DIVA70
  • Female
  • Matteson, IL
  • United States
Share on Facebook Share

DIVA70's Friends

  • cgouch
  • Rkay
  • Melissa
  • Patience
 

DIVA70's Page

Latest Activity

DIVA70 replied to Blithe's discussion 6 month grief burst
"I lost my husband seven months ago and for me any one of the things you cite contributes to the way you are feeling. I dread the holidays but I dread the coming year even more. After 50 years together it will be the first new year without…"
Dec 4
DIVA70 replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Severe Anxiety
"Yes, I joined midway through the program and I have found it extremely helpful. Having individuals to share with one on one and to get much needed support has been invaluable. There is no judgement, no fake platitudes, no hidden agenda. We all share…"
Dec 1
DIVA70 replied to Noelene T's discussion Coping with yearning for dead husband in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"First let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I believe you have come to the right place. If nothing else I believe this site will help you to know that you are not alone. What you are feeling is real and it will take time . I don't know how…"
Nov 29
DIVA70 replied to Kek5772's discussion I don't really know what to say in the group Widowed in 2018
"So sorry to hear of your loss. I wont go into details but I loss my dear husband of over 47 years approximately seven months ago. He too suffered with kidney disease. However, he had been on dialysis for about three years and we were optimistic that…"
Nov 24
DIVA70 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"I come here because here is where I find people who really understand what I am feeling. This is the first holiday season since my husband passed away in April of this year. It has been a period of highs and lows and ups and downs emotionally. I…"
Nov 24
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Unmovable Objects
"Believe me when I say I understand. My husband was on dialysis and when he would come in from his treatment he had a special place to hang his cap and store his dialysis bag. After six months his hat and his bag still rest in the last place he left…"
Nov 15
DIVA70 commented on sunshinesoon's blog post Treading water
"So sorry for your loss. Its going on seven months since my husband passed away. I don't think we are ever prepared for the end. My husband was on dialysis and had other medical problems but I still believed we had more time. Even after six…"
Nov 15
DIVA70 replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Widowhood in a Rural Area
"So sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my husband this April but I was talking to a close friend whose husband has been gone for several years and she told me that even after all these years she sometimes has those moments. So don't think…"
Nov 6
DIVA70 commented on TamiK's blog post Too much sadness
"I am so sorry for the losses you have suffered and in such a short span of time. I wish I could find the right words to encourage you and give you hope. You see I am also in fog covered by a veil of loneliness but I am determined to let the grieving…"
Nov 5
JB commented on DIVA70's blog post HOLIDAY JITTERS!
"I was checking the site to see what others were saying about the upcoming holidays and saw your post.  My husband died July 17th so this is my first everything without him.  Next week is my birthday and our 38th anniversary (we got married…"
Nov 4
Tekwriter commented on DIVA70's blog post HOLIDAY JITTERS!
"I am at six month today. I agree we do not want to do much. It is so painful."
Nov 3
Rainy (Misty) commented on DIVA70's blog post HOLIDAY JITTERS!
"Hi, I know what you mean.  Dec. 14 will be a year for me.  I find myself wanting to stop time.  However, time marches on and new traditions will give way to the old.  I'm not looking forward to the holidays for a plethora of…"
Nov 3
DIVA70 posted a blog post

HOLIDAY JITTERS!

Well, it's November 1 and the holiday season has officially begun. I for one am already starting to get the holiday jitters. Fortunately, my Tony and I had long ago cut ties with the commercialism of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our focus was on experiencing the "true" meaning of the season. For us that meant reaching out to friends and family with gestures of love...i.e. a visit to the nursing home to cheer up a family member or baking cookies with grandma and grandpa, etc.  Of course this will…See More
Nov 1
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not Me
"I think that what you are feeling is completely normal. I am reading Its OK THAT YOURE NOT OK by Megan Devine. I recommend it. After 48 years of being identified with another person I too am grappling with what the new me is going to look like...I…"
Oct 18
DIVA70 replied to Crabby's discussion Grief, guilt, and regret in the group Suddenly Widowed
" Thank you for your suggestions. My husband passed away approximately 6 months ago. T he only thing I haven't done is number 3 but I have been giving it serious thought. Hopefully 7 years from now I will have more encouraging words to…"
Oct 18
DIVA70 replied to Crabby's discussion Grief, guilt, and regret in the group Suddenly Widowed
"You are so right when you say even doctors don't know death when they see it.....my husband had gone to three specialists plus his primary care physician when he started feeling fatigued and "off".....EACH DOCTOR examined him, ordered…"
Oct 18

Profile Information

DIVA70's Photos

  • Add Photos
  • View All

DIVA70's Blog

HOLIDAY JITTERS!

Posted on November 1, 2018 at 5:48am 3 Comments

Well, it's November 1 and the holiday season has officially begun. I for one am already starting to get the holiday jitters. Fortunately, my Tony and I had long ago cut ties with the commercialism of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Our focus was on experiencing the "true" meaning of the season. For us that meant reaching out to friends and family with gestures of love...i.e. a visit to the nursing home to cheer up a family member or baking cookies with grandma and grandpa, etc.  Of course this…

Continue

My Heart Still Aches

Posted on July 29, 2018 at 12:22pm 6 Comments

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…

Continue

Fathers Day

Posted on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am 0 Comments

WELL, My Dearest,

             We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

At 9:44am on June 15, 2018, riet said…

Dear Diva,

Reading your post, it struck me how close your experiences are similar to mine.  My husband died on the 20th of last April. He was suffering from braincancer.  He fought against it for 4 years with every force in him. He wanted to live and live and live.  He was my soulmate, my best friend, my love for almost 50 years.  We met when I was 15 and he was 23. 

The opposition from both our communities even brought us together more strongly as ever.

We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren who miss their dad and grandpa terribly. My dear husband lived for me and his family.

And as in the poem: he was my North, my South, my East and West, I thought it would last forever and I was wrong.

I still can't cope with his dead. There are times I just scream his name and hope he will hear it.  Or I close my eyes and pretend he is standing next to me. 

How do you manage to go on with your recent terrible loss?

I  thought I was prepared because of the grief we had before he died. The cancer had destroyed almost all functions of his body. He was almost completely paralyzed. He lost almost completely his speech and his sight. And still he wanted to battle till the last day.

He didn't want to return to a hospital or a hospice, so with the help of our daughter who nursed him every day in the last month, he could stay and pass away in our home. 

I miss him so very much.  And just like you, I melt down sometimes. In places we went together,  hearing a song we both liked, seeing the flowers he planted last year.

And I am so angry sometimes. The thought I never never see him again, is unbearable to me.  We never can share any jokes, or any memories no more .

People keep telling me this will change . At this moment I don't see that.  I only want to get those horrible last months out of my mind.  I want to see my darling as he was before this disease entered in our life. Before he was so dependent on help.

But it is difficult to find again my caring, creative, lovely husband again. I have to watch old photos to see this.

You experience this for about the same time as me .

So I wanted to say hello to you .

All the best to you

Riet

At 9:20am on June 6, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi Diva, I noticed you on my blog and chked to see if you were new here.  I see that you are, WELCOME!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  The struggle is real but not impossible.  I hope you'll find courage, strength and companionship here, just as I have. 

At 8:26am on June 4, 2018, Patience said…

Welcome to Widville, Diva70.I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service