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DIVA70
  • Female
  • Matteson, IL
  • United States
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DIVA70 commented on Rkay's blog post Red Dress...
"What a beautiful picture....and such a loving memory. I hope you will wear it again some day and when you do think of the joy and happiness you shared on that day. Peace be with you."
Aug 7
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Missing Look
"Thank you for posting....it bought back memories of me and my beloved Tony. I can hear him asking as we pulled into the store parking lot, "If I promise to behave can I come in with you?" Usually we had a list for the grocery store or we…"
Aug 7
LadyG commented on DIVA70's blog post My Heart Still Aches
"I love that picture of the two of you.    This quote became one of my favorites when I found it in the first year after Jim's passing. "And ever has it been that love knows not it's own depth until the hour of its…"
Aug 5
riet commented on DIVA70's blog post My Heart Still Aches
"On this  Sunday, the day after our wedding anniversary, I realized  how much I am still in love with my husband.  I only want to hug him endlessly now.   It is only 3,5 months since he died, but I miss him more as I could…"
Aug 5
DIVA70 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
" Three weeks after my husband's death I was visiting relatives. I went to the kitchen to speak to the hostess. Out of nowhere she says, "Well, you're a single lady now".  I was so shocked I didn't know how to…"
Aug 1
DIVA70 commented on DIVA70's blog post My Heart Still Aches
"The main reason I sought out this site was to see if there were others out there like me who were struggling with their loss. I see that I am not alone and that in itself is helping me chart this tedious grief journey. Thank you so much for your…"
Jul 30
riet commented on DIVA70's blog post My Heart Still Aches
"I am truly sorry for your loss.  Your story could be mine, including the dates: 50 years together, 47 years of marriage.  Looking forward  for the future and getting old together.  Having our little chats about everyone and…"
Jul 30
LadyG commented on DIVA70's blog post My Heart Still Aches
"I am SO sorry for your loss !  As LauraJay said below,  in the early days wether you are now it is raw. Your grief will have things in common with many of us. When you think you are the only person having certain feelings come here and see…"
Jul 29
DIVA70 replied to cushty1's discussion Miserable, gutted, scared, overwhelmed, distraught, lost, confused and mostly lonely
"Thank you. I know you were replying to Cushy but your advice is what I needed to help me through this maze of loneliness and pain. It's been exactly three months today since I lost my soulmate of 47 plus years. God be with you."
Jul 29
DIVA70 replied to cushty1's discussion Miserable, gutted, scared, overwhelmed, distraught, lost, confused and mostly lonely
"First let me express my sincere condolences on your loss. As I was reading your comments I thought I was reading something I had written myself because your feelings express exactly how I am feeling at this very moment. I so want to say something…"
Jul 29
DIVA70 posted a blog post

My Heart Still Aches

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…See More
Jul 29
Rockon commented on DIVA70's photo
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"To Cute!!! Thank you for sharing DIVA70 Peace Be With You"
Jul 29
DIVA70 posted a photo
Jul 29
DIVA70 posted a photo

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Grandpa Tony with Francesca and Pilar
Jul 29
DIVA70 commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"I do understand. I have absolutely no motivation. I cook breakfast but that's about it. I need to clean my house but what's the point. I lost my zest for life on April 29th , the day my soulmate left me forever. I have taken a few short…"
Jul 19
DIVA70 posted a photo

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My soulmate with our youngest son and four of our son's children. So glad he was there to see our son get his Masters Degree.
Jul 18

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My Heart Still Aches

Posted on July 29, 2018 at 12:22pm 6 Comments

Exactly 3 months ago today my world was shattered and I lost my only true love and my soulmate. People keep telling me the heartache I feel will become more and more bearable. Right now I don't see how that will ever be possible. Even after 50 years together (over 47 married) we were looking forward to the future. We still had so many plans and dreams. Despite his illness (he was on dialysis) we had learned to navigate around his treatments and we still managed to travel and do the things we…

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Fathers Day

Posted on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am 0 Comments

WELL, My Dearest,

             We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:44am on June 15, 2018, riet said…

Dear Diva,

Reading your post, it struck me how close your experiences are similar to mine.  My husband died on the 20th of last April. He was suffering from braincancer.  He fought against it for 4 years with every force in him. He wanted to live and live and live.  He was my soulmate, my best friend, my love for almost 50 years.  We met when I was 15 and he was 23. 

The opposition from both our communities even brought us together more strongly as ever.

We have 3 children and 3 grandchildren who miss their dad and grandpa terribly. My dear husband lived for me and his family.

And as in the poem: he was my North, my South, my East and West, I thought it would last forever and I was wrong.

I still can't cope with his dead. There are times I just scream his name and hope he will hear it.  Or I close my eyes and pretend he is standing next to me. 

How do you manage to go on with your recent terrible loss?

I  thought I was prepared because of the grief we had before he died. The cancer had destroyed almost all functions of his body. He was almost completely paralyzed. He lost almost completely his speech and his sight. And still he wanted to battle till the last day.

He didn't want to return to a hospital or a hospice, so with the help of our daughter who nursed him every day in the last month, he could stay and pass away in our home. 

I miss him so very much.  And just like you, I melt down sometimes. In places we went together,  hearing a song we both liked, seeing the flowers he planted last year.

And I am so angry sometimes. The thought I never never see him again, is unbearable to me.  We never can share any jokes, or any memories no more .

People keep telling me this will change . At this moment I don't see that.  I only want to get those horrible last months out of my mind.  I want to see my darling as he was before this disease entered in our life. Before he was so dependent on help.

But it is difficult to find again my caring, creative, lovely husband again. I have to watch old photos to see this.

You experience this for about the same time as me .

So I wanted to say hello to you .

All the best to you

Riet

At 9:20am on June 6, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi Diva, I noticed you on my blog and chked to see if you were new here.  I see that you are, WELCOME!  I'm so very sorry you've had to join us.  The struggle is real but not impossible.  I hope you'll find courage, strength and companionship here, just as I have. 

At 8:26am on June 4, 2018, Patience said…

Welcome to Widville, Diva70.I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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