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Dave55's Blog

My Get out of Dodge Xmas Cruise

Posted on January 4, 2015 at 10:00am 3 Comments

So this story is about my cruise, Christmas week 2014.

The purpose was to “run away” from staying home for Christmas, giving myself permission to do something different this year, and maybe in the future as well.  The related pictures are also on the site as well.

So on to the story…


The inspiration to actually do this, something I’ve never done and to go to a place I’ve never been came…



Posted on October 10, 2014 at 1:23pm 4 Comments


Its Wednesday again, the 11th one since that awful day back in July, the 23rd day of the month. When I sat by her bed at the hospital in the early morning hours, holding her hand, feeling her slipping away until she was gone. My daughter was there as well; my son took her husband and the baby home.

Only yesterday I connected the day of the month and realized that our 33rd wedding anniversary was May 23rd, only two months earlier. And that my friend from collage,…


My first Camp Widow - Toronto 2014

Posted on September 29, 2014 at 5:16am 12 Comments

My first Camp Widow - Toronto 2014


I thought I'd write this to both help me process the two days and to possibly help others who may be trying to decide to go.  I'll do the best to remember things but I'm suffering from Widow Brain, so some things are fuzzy.  This may seem confused but I wanted to capture first impressions and not over edit.




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At 4:53am on December 3, 2014, lyric1863 said…

Thinking of you on your wednesday.

At 1:31pm on November 24, 2014, leendah said…

thanks Dave for comments.....another thing is realizing whatever you will have in the future is not what you had previously, could it be better or is it just your life with a different favor of happiness or contentment you hadn't felt before.......I want to be able to communicate with someone again but I want it to feel right, I want it to be healthy......I do not want it to come from an overwhelming neediness that maybe we all have because we lost someone we could communicate with before. 

At 11:50am on November 24, 2014, leendah said…

I've been doing okay for awhile, but sometimes that damn guilt comes back.  It happens when I'm happy with friends around - eating, talking....then I reflect when by myself again, and say Oh Yeah your life is not what it was and am I allowed to be able to smile and joke and get to know new people.......Of course I am and all of you are allowed to feel that way but it's hard to swallow that truth and accept it.  I think that's what "Moving On" for me will be when I stop doubting myself and any future happiness........

At 3:57pm on October 11, 2014, laurajay said…

We are only lost in our own minds Dave whether it's a valley or a lonesome woods or what feels like our imagined the eyes of the creator we are never lost because He slumbers not nor sleeps but watches over us constantly.   Yes, you are at the beginning of a long journey with no timetable. But you will find here some people who have been exactly where you are and understand and care.  Others not so much   but sift through and take what is helpful from those who appear wise.  I too, was surprised when that 23rd psalm came to mind...God is good when we listen.  it's been 2 1/2 yrs  for me.    Still on the journey.  Even when you bottom out or think you can skip through the grief there is hope-you  won't believe it at times  and that's ok too. Hope is faithful and patient even when we feel we've lost it.  Drop a line anytime  you want to share.  Either here or at my private email:    [email protected]     and I will try to support you with a reply.   I don't have all the answers  but I have learned and suffered through this journey  and I can reflect and offer at least 23 considerations.  laurajay

At 11:36am on October 10, 2014, leendah said…

the docs said he would never regain consciousness but for (and it seemed hours!) a few minutes the night before he died I kept repeating names of people he knew and places we had been and he looked into my eyes - the only time in 3 days - and I felt like he recognized me briefly - then he was gone again and never came back - the nurse said what I saw wasn't possible in his condition but I don't think they know everything - I know what I saw and it was some infant like form of himself showing me he loved me whether it was just hearing a kind voice or more.  Thus the guilt surfaces at times on whether I should have kept him alive but no - not to be fed and given oxygen through tubes the rest of his life and having no way to communicate.  Sometimes I just have to let the guilt pass or it will eat me alive.

At 5:04pm on August 13, 2014, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Dave55.  I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.  Take care of yourself.


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