"Terry, I think you are very brave to be bold enough to quit. At times, I would love to do that myself. Other times, reality sinks in, and I hear my logical/analytical husband saying "what? you need the benefits"! So, I am…"
"I am in there with the rest of you! It's been 2 years and one month for me - and I still am not really sure who I am now. I'm still half of a whole. Terry, if it wasn't for you feeling the same way, I'd think…"
"It's been almost 2 years for me as well. I have been doing so much better - yet - sitting here alone in front of my Christmas tree brings so many memories. Tomorrow my house will be full - but when alone - there is just no way to…"
"Terry - you are blessed to have decided on what to do about your rings - peace with your decision! I was just telling a friend yesterday, that one of the hardest things about having lost my husband is that he was my decision maker. He…"
"It's been a year and a half for me - the sadness is still right there - some days better than others. I am still working full time - so I get up and go to work - which is a blessing in many ways. Since work was somewhere I…"
"I've been reading comments without commenting here - I'm at 1 year and 5 months - and I still wear my wedding rings - don't plan to take them off. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I have learned to never say…"
"I'm at a year and 4 months. Most days I do very well I think - work, seeing friends. I am really working at scheduling time with friends. There are still those times that always catch me by surprise - when I so desperately…"
"Terry - you are blessed to know what area to get into to put purpose back into your life! And you'll be such a blessing to others! I am looking - but so unsure. I am searching for my new normal - and for what the next chapter…"
"Hope - this is a slow process and we are all different. These are my feelings though. I'm at 14 months now - and am realizing that I feel much better when I can look for others to help! Anything - a note - a smile - whatever…"
"I just got back from cruise with my 14 and 17 year old grandsons! My cousin and her husband wanted to cruise and take their 5 (yes 5) grand daughters - so they asked me to go and take my grandsons as their grand daughters had never cruised and…"
"For those dealing with panic attacks - I recently saw this - it is called grounding and they say it helps. Find 5 things you can SEE, 4 things you can TOUCH, 3 things you can HEAR, 2 things you can SMELL, and 1 thing you can TASTE."
"i'm glad to hear you felt similarly- i am trying to figure out who i am as well- we did everything together. I met Jim at 19 and married after college so I have never been alone or had to make any decisions alone or anything. I…"
"Thelma, I live in Massachusetts. Are you Greek by any chance? I lost my husband of 33 years and we were one being. I didn't do anything for a few months but now have reached out to several groups. I have joined Tom…"
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It has been 8 months now since I lost my sweetheart - we were married for 30 years and this is so very hard. I too remember the first time I laughed after his death - and how startling it was when I realized it. I have no idea how long it takes to be happy again - I have friends ask why I am still wearing my rings - but I put them on every day. Some days I actually feel "normal" - other days it's all I can do to just go through the day. I don't know that someone who hasn't been through this understands at all. And so many friendships change - so much change - so many firsts - they are so hard! Decision making is the worst for me - I just don't know how anyone survives without depending on God to get them through. That is the only good thing I see from this - I am clinging to my God, and He has carried me every day!
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i'm glad to hear you felt similarly- i am trying to figure out who i am as well- we did everything together. I met Jim at 19 and married after college so I have never been alone or had to make any decisions alone or anything. I struggle with the fact that everyone else has their someone and we had a perfect relationship and it was taken away. I just try to get thru each day. The online supports are good. I will look into grief share in my area. You will really like Tom's book- i know it. Thx and keep in touch.
Thelma, I live in Massachusetts. Are you Greek by any chance? I lost my husband of 33 years and we were one being. I didn't do anything for a few months but now have reached out to several groups. I have joined Tom Zuba on Facebook and his book helped me a lot. He has an online course for the month of March- he actually is speaking at camp widow. I also follow my fit widow on Facebook and she is an inspiration . I think it is too soon for me for the camp- maybe next year. Everything you say resonates with me. I don't know who I am and am so lonely and lost. and sad. Thanks for listening.
Thelma, I just read some of your post and could relate to things you were saying. I haven't wanted to change anything in the house and as far as my husband's clothes, shoes, and personal things, they are mostly right where he left them. I just can't seem to even think about removing anything yet. It's going into the 5th month and I feel I'm still in such a fog. I worry about my driving and doing everyday things and feel my mind isn't clear enough. I feel I'm mostly in a fog. This is the fest way I can describe my feelings. I also feel it's not real that he will never come home again. It's like I'm still waiting for him to come home. I feel Ive lost my way and just can't decide what I even want to do. I try to do the necessary things and can't seem to find any joy in anything any more. I keep wondering when will I feel just ok again. His cancer was an 8 year battle with Radiation treatments three times & Chemo treatments four times which were spread out over the course of the 8 years. He & I both thought he would live forever. We never gave up. He was so strong and had such a will to live. Not only did he have cancer I felt I did as well. I think he handled it all better than I did. It was such a long and scary eight years and I know my faith got me thru it. I think about how much he went thru and I am so amazed at how strong he was. My heart is so broken & I think about all he had to endure & I can't seem to get past this hurt & pain. I look at his pictures & I see what cancer did to him & how it change him. It actually seemed to suck the life out of him thru those 8 years. It's a terrible disease!!! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on & on. I pray there will be a cure for all cancers so no one will ever have to go thru what my husband went thru. It's so heartbreaking for the person going thru it and for those who love them.
Welcome FitFlNana: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It