I think death scares me the most losing my Spouse which I did we never talked about death except he would always say if something happened to me he would be on the street, but never if something…Continue
Hi Lisa, Hope your day was good. No work today, my son was off school, so we dug out his room and organized the house a bit. Just hanging out at Starbucks while my son goes to catechism tonight. It's my one hour not involved in work or being with son...he should be ok with God for an hour, right.LOL
Enjoying the 50 degree weather here, back to bitter cold for the weekend. I do like the winter, we went sledding last weekend and had fun. Again, just getting out where other people are lets me disappear in the crowd.
Thanks for the friend request. You sound and look like a lovely lady. I have been very busy over the holidays as well, with my son and work. I work for myself, everyone thinks you can set your own schedule if you do. It is quite the opposite. Work does help me get through the day a little easier, then my son is home after school.
I took care of my wife for about four years, as she had good and bad days, still didn't make it easier when you know she is going to pass.
Hardest thing I ever had to do was tell my son that his mother had passed. We had discussed it gradually to him, but he was only six at the time, he misses her more now, but he is doing great. Talk soon.
Good morning, Lisa. So glad to see your friend request...its an honor.
My experience with loss is more spread out through the years of my life. I still have my mom, who is 84. My dad passed away at 82 about 9 years ago. I lost a brother to alcoholism in '98. And several family members have passed throughout that time.
I think what makes your experience so different from mine is the major figures in your life passing when you were so young...your mom and stepmom. That must have been so confusing and heartbreaking for a young girl to deal with. I can't imagine it.
My mother has been my #1 friend in my life, but now in her golden years, she is just not the same person she used to be. She has dementia and our conversations have changed a lot. But the essence of my mother is still there and my love for her is only stronger. Our relationship has changed though. I am more of the parent and she the child now. That is a really strange thing to absorb, but only natural I suppose.
I guess it is fair to say that throughout all of my experiences with loss, I never felt the loneliness and sadness it can bring as deeply as when I lost my husband. I have two daughters, a grandson, family members and friends, but he was so central in my life. One person I could talk to in a special way...like no one else. I am sure that throughout the rest of my life there will not be one day when I don't long for him, when I don't miss that special connection we had. He was right up there with my mother when I thought of who my deepest, best friends were. Now, one is gone and the other has been removed from me because of age.
My daughters are young women now and they are certainly the core of my family. We love each other deeply and have a friendship that sustains me through everything life can throw at me, but it is a different kind than that with my husband. I'm sure you know what I mean.
And I go through waves of feeling 'ok' then feeling 'alone' then feeling 'angry' then feeling 'lost'. I am trying, though. I am working hard every day to accomplish something worthwhile. I don't lay in bed all day thinking about the things I cannot change. What does that do but waste my life? I just get up everyday and take care of the business of the day. In fact, I've BURIED myself in business! I enrolled myself in a master's degree program, I have a very busy full-time job, I take care of my home, cars, etc. basically by myself. You would think I wouldn't have time to feel lonely. Yeah, right.
What goes on in our hearts is so much different than the activities of the world.
Oh well, I've carried on enough for today. It's just nice to have someone to talk to who knows what this is like, isn't it? But I can't help but wish we all lived in the same town...a village of widows! We could sit down, face-to-face and have coffee and chat and keep each other out of the Shadows. I guess the 'online' thing is as good as it gets most days, though. And I am grateful for it...but I am a little stubborn when it comes to technology. It will never replace real people standing in front of you, with the sound of their voice in your ears, their gestures, their facial expressions. Nothing replaces that, you know? Hmmm. Call me old fashioned! Ha!
Take care, Lisa. Hope to 'talk' to you soon. And thank you again for your friend request.
Hi Cindy, I agree with you I did find your blog very uplifting, I think I will write you on here because when I try to send mine back to you it won't go through anyway, I am going to keep this short and not be a long story yes, 2016 was a sad year for both me and my Dad and my Dad's Sister-in-Law she lost her husband and her oldest Son, but her Son she lost April 9th of 2017, he had health problems. Anyway, I have had my share of loss I lost my Mom when I was 10 years old she had a blood clot in the back of her head, then my Dad married again and my Step-Mom had Cancer of the Liver, she passed away when I was 14 teen then when I was 15 teen my Dad married again and they got divorced about 6 or 7 years ago. I hope you have a nice rest of your week and weekend ok later on today when I get some sleep I will tell you a couple of things that happened to me it shows God can answer prayers. Your friend, Lisa C
Hello, Lisa. Thank you for the comment on my blog. I certainly hope you are uplifted. You have certainly had your share of loss, haven't you? It is so hard to step back from a broken heart and see the bigger picture of life...but that is the only way (for me) to keep from losing hope. I need hope so badly, sometimes. Even now, four years later...I 'get the blues' so badly, I have to fight to keep my head above the water and my heart out of the shadows. I wish you the very best, Lisa. Your friend, Cindy