Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

GKinSD
  • Male
  • Fallbrook, CA
  • United States
Share on Facebook Share

GKinSD's Friends

  • Leapauling
  • Dana775
  • riet
  • Former Yooper
  • Theresa
  • eliana
  • treefrog
  • Steve
  • Morgana (Janet)

GKinSD's Discussions

Bad days.

Started this discussion. Last reply by LandL (Linda) Dec 31, 2019. 5 Replies

One year and 27 days since my husband died of cancer. On top of that, I had to put our beloved sweet dog down last month due to cancer as well. Needless to say, it’s been a rough stretch for me. The…Continue

 

GKinSD's Page

Latest Activity

LandL (Linda) replied to GKinSD's discussion Bad days.
"Can only say I'm so sorry you're in this place none of us ever dreamed we'd be in.  Wish I had more to offer. Linda"
Dec 31, 2019
Susan replied to GKinSD's discussion Bad days.
"Hi GKinSD,    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I too lost my husband to cancer. ( Brain Cancer GBM )     Paul and I spent a lot of our time together.Not many outsiders. Now that he's gone, so are a…"
Dec 31, 2019
Frank replied to GKinSD's discussion Bad days.
"Hi, Thanks for the reply. In your profession you get to see us all in some of our worst times. It takes a toll on you folks and can lead to a crust of self preservation.  I appreciate your service, I hear that very frequently now days when…"
Dec 27, 2019
GKinSD replied to GKinSD's discussion Bad days.
"Thanks for sharing your story Frank. Good memories are what I cling to, but often get overshadowed by the bad ones. The memories of when he was sick and wasting away before my eyes. Like you, I cared for Steve when things got bad. I am a firefighter…"
Dec 27, 2019
Frank replied to GKinSD's discussion Bad days.
"Hi GKinSD, You aren't going to scare me off.  My wife, Susan expectantly passed in her sleep one night, on 17 December 2012.  Everything you wrote about your marriage reminded me of ours.  We had very few friends as we were our…"
Dec 27, 2019
GKinSD posted a discussion

Bad days.

One year and 27 days since my husband died of cancer. On top of that, I had to put our beloved sweet dog down last month due to cancer as well. Needless to say, it’s been a rough stretch for me. The holidays haven’t made it any easier. I find myself in a deep depression. The kind of depression that renders you like a zombie. The kind of depression where just getting out of bed is tough.  Eating or taking a shower are things I have to mentally prepare myself for. I am amazed how people get…See More
Dec 27, 2019
GKinSD replied to Blessed Hot Mess's discussion Sucks to meet like this... in the group Widowed in 2018
"I also lost my husband on 12/7/2018. I thought I would be farther along in my grief, but I think I’ve actually gone backwards. We did not have any kids, only a sweet dog that I had to put to sleep last month. Both my husband and my dog died…"
Dec 27, 2019
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"It’s been a few months since I’ve posted. I wish I could say I’m in a better place,  but I feel worse. I’m doing all the things I think I should be doing...meeting with a therapist, meditation, allowing myself to grieve,…"
Oct 19, 2019
GKinSD replied to Margie's discussion Moving Forward in the group Widowed in 2018
"Hi Margie, I, too, lost my husband to colon cancer. He passed away 12/7/2018. It’s been very difficult for me as well. I sometimes think about selling our home, as it seems too large, too quiet, and too remote.  Most of my support is an…"
Sep 24, 2019
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"So today was one of those triggers I keep reading about, my husbands birthday. I had planned to get out of the house and do something “meaningful”. Instead I just stayed home and slept. I’m trying to not beat myself up over this. I…"
Sep 23, 2019
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"Tomorrow would have been my husband’s 58th birthday. Often, we would spend a week on the central coast of California in a small town called Cambria to celebrate. I packed up the car, the dog and some of Steves ashes yesterday and made the trip…"
Sep 22, 2019
adoption1964 (Kim) commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"I read this stories about watching their partner waste away from cancer.  I lost my husband May 2, 2017 from Stage 4 Kidney cancer.  The official diagnosis was Dec 15, 2016.  He had a kidney removed 12/27/16 and less then 5 months…"
Sep 12, 2019
GKinSD replied to kk24's discussion New to the Group in the group Widowed in 2018
"Don’t ever apologize for your grief. It’s proof that your love exists...even after death. It’s hard. It’s damn hard. 8 months into grief and sometimes it feels like yesterday when my husband died. I hate what cancer has done…"
Aug 24, 2019
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"Anyone else have the physical feeling in your gut like you are freefalling?  When I think about all the pain and anxiety that my husband experienced prior to his death, I get that feeling in my stomach similar to how it feels when you drop down…"
Aug 24, 2019
Tess commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"This brought me to tears Geoff. I'm sure Steve hears you and will send you comfort. At first you may not recognize his presence, but there are circumstances, at least for me, that I know my beloved was and is watching over me. I wish you lots…"
Aug 22, 2019
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 70s
"So I’m 8 months into grief. I still feel as if I’m just existing, watching the world move on, not experiencing true joy and constantly feeling that extreme grief is just under the surface, waiting to rear it’s ugly head. I know it…"
Aug 20, 2019

Profile Information

GKinSD's Blog

8 months into this shitty journey

Posted on August 4, 2019 at 7:01am 8 Comments

My name is Geoff.  My husband Steve died 12/7/2018 after a 4 month battle with colon cancer. We were together for 16 years, married for 4.  Being a gay couple has its own unique challenges, even in this day and age.  Family will distance themselves and say cruel things.  For the longest time, it was just Steve and I against the world. He taught me so much about life. How to believe in myself.  What it truly means to be happy. 

I remember the last 4 months of Steve’s life.  The way his…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

At 5:27pm on August 9, 2019, Theresa said…

So so sorry on your loss. I agree that a support system seems to disappear. I pray you find the strength to continue on each day. It is a very difficult job to get up each morning to keep going on with life.  Your husband was a wonderful person and so are you. Blessings_

At 3:09pm on August 2, 2019, Ksealey said…

I tried grief groups and it was the most awful and depressing experience of my life.  I tried two different ones.  The last time I had to get up, run out, get in the car and head home while not being able to breath. I know what you man about not having the energy or motivation - I did not either but realized it was just something I HAD to do.  I can recommend 1:1 strongly enough.  The other technology based therapy I am doing has proved to work great for me.  If I knew there was a way to get you a private message I would be happy to provide an email address for you so we could discuss things.  All I know is that about 2 weeks ago a switch went off and things changed a lot - all my friends have noticed and it is such a relief - just hope it continues.

At 9:07am on August 2, 2019, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, GKinSD. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

© 2020   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service