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GKinSD
  • Male
  • Fallbrook, CA
  • United States
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GKinSD's Friends

  • Leapauling
  • Dana775
  • riet
  • Former Yooper
  • Theresa
  • eliana
  • treefrog
  • Steve
  • Morgana (Janet)
 

GKinSD's Page

Latest Activity

GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"It’s been a few months since I’ve posted. I wish I could say I’m in a better place,  but I feel worse. I’m doing all the things I think I should be doing...meeting with a therapist, meditation, allowing myself to grieve,…"
Oct 19
GKinSD replied to Margie's discussion Moving Forward in the group Widowed in 2018
"Hi Margie, I, too, lost my husband to colon cancer. He passed away 12/7/2018. It’s been very difficult for me as well. I sometimes think about selling our home, as it seems too large, too quiet, and too remote.  Most of my support is an…"
Sep 24
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"So today was one of those triggers I keep reading about, my husbands birthday. I had planned to get out of the house and do something “meaningful”. Instead I just stayed home and slept. I’m trying to not beat myself up over this. I…"
Sep 23
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"Tomorrow would have been my husband’s 58th birthday. Often, we would spend a week on the central coast of California in a small town called Cambria to celebrate. I packed up the car, the dog and some of Steves ashes yesterday and made the trip…"
Sep 22
adoption1964 (Kim) commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"I read this stories about watching their partner waste away from cancer.  I lost my husband May 2, 2017 from Stage 4 Kidney cancer.  The official diagnosis was Dec 15, 2016.  He had a kidney removed 12/27/16 and less then 5 months…"
Sep 12
GKinSD replied to kk24's discussion New to the Group in the group Widowed in 2018
"Don’t ever apologize for your grief. It’s proof that your love exists...even after death. It’s hard. It’s damn hard. 8 months into grief and sometimes it feels like yesterday when my husband died. I hate what cancer has done…"
Aug 24
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2018
"Anyone else have the physical feeling in your gut like you are freefalling?  When I think about all the pain and anxiety that my husband experienced prior to his death, I get that feeling in my stomach similar to how it feels when you drop down…"
Aug 24
Tess commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"This brought me to tears Geoff. I'm sure Steve hears you and will send you comfort. At first you may not recognize his presence, but there are circumstances, at least for me, that I know my beloved was and is watching over me. I wish you lots…"
Aug 22
GKinSD commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 70s
"So I’m 8 months into grief. I still feel as if I’m just existing, watching the world move on, not experiencing true joy and constantly feeling that extreme grief is just under the surface, waiting to rear it’s ugly head. I know it…"
Aug 20
Kris63 commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"Geoff,     Your story, like so many, is heartbreaking. I am sorry for your loss. My niece died of colon cancer; it is a terrible disease and so hard on the person and the caregiver. The memories of the fight against cancer can be so…"
Aug 19
Leapauling commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"Hello  Geoff, I'm so saddened to read a part of your story. My husband Paul was diagnosed with rectal cancer October 31, 2018. We too went through Chemo and he lived for 8 months to the day we first saw the oncologist. He passed away not…"
Aug 12
Theresa left a comment for GKinSD
"So so sorry on your loss. I agree that a support system seems to disappear. I pray you find the strength to continue on each day. It is a very difficult job to get up each morning to keep going on with life.  Your husband was a wonderful person…"
Aug 9
Dana775 commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"Geoff, I am so sorry for your loss. I saw your post in reply to Kris63 about "One Year Meaning nothing" Posted Below: I hate that we are on this website.  I also feel like I’m regressing. I’m not quite at the year mark…"
Aug 7
Pegasus commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"I am so sorry.  My heart goes out to you.  My husband of 49 years was diagnosed with colon cancer and a hole in his colon just two months before his death exactly one year ago.  I witnessed his body's deterioration and woke up in…"
Aug 6
chef (John) commented on GKinSD's blog post 8 months into this shitty journey
"You are where I was at eight months. I am sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that your support system is failing; unfortunately, this is something we all experience. I hope that the journaling is helping--even if it's a small amount. [I did…"
Aug 6
GKinSD replied to Kris63's discussion The one year period means nothing in the group Widowed in 2018
"I hate that we are on this website.  I also feel like I’m regressing. I’m not quite at the year mark yet, only 8 months into it. There are times when I think I’m progressing and then I’m brought down to my knees with…"
Aug 5

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GKinSD's Blog

8 months into this shitty journey

Posted on August 4, 2019 at 7:01am 8 Comments

My name is Geoff.  My husband Steve died 12/7/2018 after a 4 month battle with colon cancer. We were together for 16 years, married for 4.  Being a gay couple has its own unique challenges, even in this day and age.  Family will distance themselves and say cruel things.  For the longest time, it was just Steve and I against the world. He taught me so much about life. How to believe in myself.  What it truly means to be happy. 

I remember the last 4 months of Steve’s life.  The way his…

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At 5:27pm on August 9, 2019, Theresa said…

So so sorry on your loss. I agree that a support system seems to disappear. I pray you find the strength to continue on each day. It is a very difficult job to get up each morning to keep going on with life.  Your husband was a wonderful person and so are you. Blessings_

At 3:09pm on August 2, 2019, Ksealey said…

I tried grief groups and it was the most awful and depressing experience of my life.  I tried two different ones.  The last time I had to get up, run out, get in the car and head home while not being able to breath. I know what you man about not having the energy or motivation - I did not either but realized it was just something I HAD to do.  I can recommend 1:1 strongly enough.  The other technology based therapy I am doing has proved to work great for me.  If I knew there was a way to get you a private message I would be happy to provide an email address for you so we could discuss things.  All I know is that about 2 weeks ago a switch went off and things changed a lot - all my friends have noticed and it is such a relief - just hope it continues.

At 9:07am on August 2, 2019, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, GKinSD. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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