"I have been traveling this horrid journey 13 months and like all of you I AM MARRIED. I still wear my wedding band and engagement ring Phil was burried with his wedding ring as he is still married too. his clothes are still in his side of the…"
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Joellen
- Female
- Cleveland, OH
- United States
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Joellen commented on Joyce's event 23rd Wedding Anniversary!
"happy anniversry..hope you have a soft day you will be in my thoughts"
Joellen is attending Joyce's event
23rd Wedding Anniversary! at In my heart!
May 27, 2013 all day
We would have been married 23 years today. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real that he's not with me. Happy Anniversary Tom, I love you!See More
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"this journey for sure sucks.. It is the hardest one we will have to travel that we did not choose.. we all chose to get married; have or not have children; spend our lives with our husbands, etc. this damn grief journey; this damn live alone journey…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"Petal that is what keeps me afloat is that I know how much Phil and I loved each other; our total devotion to each other.. Knowing that and the fact that when it is my time to join him he will hold me once again helps get me through the day.It is…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"absolutely we were looking forward to my retirement of spending the rest of our lives together being with each other 24/7 and we were both robbed of this Instead of retiring this june I will have to work another year to try to catch up on bills but…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"I have my bouts of anger too but not ever at Phil.. I get angry at the situation I am left with ; of the life I have but never at Phil cause it was not his fault at all that I am alone that he died because I know Phil if given the choice he would…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 50s
"I always said I wanted to go first too or best case senario would have been for both of us to go together !! I always felt Phil could handle being alone better than I could after awhile he would be a blubbering mess cause we were too much alike it…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 50s
"lizbeth4. at this point I do not know why my sister is the way she is. perhaps she is waiting for me to constantly call her instead of her calling me. I did call her a couple times in the beginnin even had her over for dinner so I did not have…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 50s
"thanks Diane, I do think some of it is like you said the loss of our spouses makes us so totally alone that we now notice things we did not notice before because we had no need to notice before because we had the love of our lives; and we did things…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 50s
"I hear you I am at almost 14 months out and Phil's shoes are all still lined up under our bed. clothes still in his side of the dresser ; his hat still hangs on the hook by the side door and I do not plan on moving it any time soon. I did…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"yes Laurajay if not for our children and grandchildren I would not want to survive but they all go home at the end of a visit; the dial tone returns to the phone at the end of a phone call and I am alone once more. No one to hold me; kiss me; for me…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Suddenly widowed
"angie you said it just how i feel. I do not "live" any more, I have no life. I survive.. my life was with Phil. when Phil died he took my heart with him. I feel like part of me has been amputated in surgery and never to grow back. so…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Born in the 50s
"I hear you.. my dream was for us to go together so neither one of us had to live without the other.of course that did not happen... I am misserable..
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Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2012
"I feel your pain. lately I feel like I am slippping backwards too. more weepy days. I try to be positive but lately it is not working.. I look outside and I see so much that has to be done outside... am I wrong for praying for rain tomorrow so I can…"
Joellen commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2012
"If you feel there is no need to see a therapist then DON'T. listen to your heart. I am at 13 months out and I have not seen anyone . I come on here and it helps Like my prior post. no one knows how to travel this journey unless they have…"
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- Married May 1,1971
Phil's birthday: March 5,1943
Comment Wall (42 comments)
- At 5:16pm on April 11, 2013,
laurajay said… joellen. how are we going to do this? like you one yr. Last two weeks went through first bad physical illness sinus infection with discharges of mucus out of my eyes scared to death couldn't dare cry. worst absolutely alone 24/7. no one here 1st time in my life....no husband nothing felt like death- now recovering and I miss him even more- the pain does not go away and now I'm weak as well with no way to look at this except to accept it and go on but I am too tired and sad to think I can right now.so many have family and close friends nearby/not I. every holiday is dreadful. I am tired of one yr bucking up and trying to seem fine--I'm not fine. I hate this I want to go back. I want his love and presence. I am in reality. I know I cannot go back I know I must go forward. But one year without any human affection at all ...well I have no words to describe. I hate pity. I hate complaining when most don't care anyway. I now understand why so many older folks are crabby and avoided. Pain and loneliness make us ugly. My great faith has piecemealed. My prayers which were once full of praise now cry out in wants and needs. I have let down my precious Lord . I only pray for forgiveness and mercy. A lost sheep seeking her Shepard to show her the way.
I pray for you my friend, I believe you understand and care. love and healing laurajay
- At 11:32pm on April 1, 2013,
tlb1630 said… I know how it feels at Easter time - my husband Jack died Tuesday of Holy week last year - so althouth the 1st anniversary will be this Wednesday (4/3) this pass week was very hard and Easter bitter sweet. The last time "we" celebrated Mass together (physically) was on Palm Sunday 2012 andTuesday he was gone.... who knew but only God himself. So hold on tight the week as I'm sure your world will feel rocked all over again you but know you have friends and support here. {{HUG}} Blessings new friend, Teri
- At 2:44pm on March 17, 2013,
onmyown said… I am so sorry for your loss. I really get your pain as my husband was taken from me suddenly almost three years ago. Sending you big hugs.
- At 11:47am on March 14, 2013,
Patcpoo said… - Hi Joellen, I talk to Gary everyday too and my family think Im nuts. It gives me a lot of comfort because I know he is listening. I tell him the bad things and the good things.. He loved going to the grandkids sports so I tell him about the games and that I am going shopping with one of the kids. If Im nuts I dont care because I enjoy talking to him I just wish he was here to answer.
- At 7:59pm on February 26, 2013,
Moving On said… Joellen, thanks for being my friend. It's too bad though that we can't have all become friends without having to meet this way. However, at least I'm happy that I found, by accident, WV. I was searching for information on grief, to try to help me and my two widowed neighbor ladies, when I saw WV listed and decided to check it out. As much as I wish I wasn't here, I'm glad I am. Hopefully, with each others help on here, it'll make our journey just a little bit easier, or as you say softer. (I'll say one thing, this widow/widower thing is awfully hard!) Thanks again and I hope we can help each other have a less bumpy ride! Extremely warm hugs to you! Stan
- At 10:37am on February 17, 2013,
Maggie said… Hi Joellen. Thank you for accepting my friend request. I am so sorry for your loss.
- At 1:23pm on February 14, 2013, Bonnie said…
Hi Joellen, I am sorry we have to meet through these circumstances. My husband died 17th July, 2012 and I am still expecting him to come in the door. He would be due to celebrate his 50th birthday 18th Feb so this is a very sad time for us.
- At 9:05am on January 31, 2013, Ellen said…
I already added my comment.
- At 9:05am on January 31, 2013, Ellen said…
Hi, Joellen: I am very happy that you want to be my friend and I want to be yours as well. We will all get through this grief in our own time and I am sure being friends with you will help me tremendously. Please write to me and tell me whatever you can about you and your loss. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you again. Love, Ellen
- At 11:01pm on January 27, 2013,
Lensan said… Hi Joellen - I'm just at 10 months last week, and I totally feel the same way. It seems to hurt horribly again, and I feel so incredibly raw! Is it because my birthday, then Valentine's Day, then our daughter's birthday, then Len's then the 1 year mark are all looming down upon me? I am also at the point at which he became dreadfully exhausted, then started having a string of minor maladies which resulted in his quiet death...I just don't know how in the world i will make it through these next weeks. I miss him so much, I'm weepy, and people just don't get it. All they can say is "It's been almost a year! C'mon!" Really?? Do they actually think I don't know how long it's been? I'm holding all of us approaching the first anniversary in my thoughts and praying for soft days.
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