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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Judyrose
  • Female
  • Litchfield, IL
  • United States
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Judyrose's Friends

  • Mary
  • Sueg
  • DIVA70
  • eliana
  • Kevin
 

Judyrose's Page

Latest Activity

DIVA70 replied to Judyrose's discussion Lost in the group Widowed in 2019
"Judyrose, I lost my beloved husband on April 29,2018. We would have been married 48 years on November 21st of the same year. We met in the 6th grade and were actually together as a couple for 50 years. So much of your lives were intertwined…"
Thursday
widowboymom34 replied to Judyrose's discussion Lost in the group Widowed in 2019
"My husband and I used to plow through the black Friday crowds and kick our Christmas shopping off that way. This year, I cant stand to be in public, I cant stand to bump into people I know, and I cant stand to pretend that Im happy. Im not happy, I…"
Nov 25
dolly replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Hi Don...so sorry to hear you lost your wife ... how long were you married? I lost my hubby a couple of months ago..9/11/19 and I still can not adjust to the fact I can't discuss things with him so I just do  'all the…"
Nov 23
dolly replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Thanks so much..I am with you! Cry, scream, be alone, be busy..whatever it takes to make it through the day ...it is YOUR grief to express the way you choose and if someone doesn't like it well TS..(oops is that ok to say) I have found this…"
Nov 19
Judyrose replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Hi Dolly, I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for the kind words. I’m finally realizing I can feel and do anything I want to with my loss. If I want to cry or scream it’s okay. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.…"
Nov 18
dolly replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Hi Judyrose...My hubby died 9/11/19 after 50 years of marriage... so I sort of relate..My condolences to you,,,I keep trying to remember what I have heard so often..each person is different and we grieve in our own unique way...but I can relate to…"
Nov 18
dolly replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Hi Judyrose...My hubby died 9/11/19 after 50 years of marriage... so I sort of relate..My condolences to you,,,I keep trying to remember what I have heard so often..each person is different and we grieve in our own unique way...but I can relate to…"
Nov 18
Judyrose replied to DebiT's discussion So many places to say goodbye in the group Widowed in 2019
" CvilleSarah, Reading your comment made me cry. I’m like you and Mary I don’t know how to live the rest of my life . I’m just waiting till I can be with him again.   Hugs   Judyrose "
Nov 13
Judyrose replied to DebiT's discussion So many places to say goodbye in the group Widowed in 2019
"Melissa,  That makes so much sense. I think your brain is so use to think about how you use to do things with him it doesn’t know how to do it alone.  Thank you for the link, it was so helpful. I keep it on my phone so I can go back…"
Nov 13
Judyrose replied to DebiT's discussion So many places to say goodbye in the group Widowed in 2019
"Mary  I’m sorry to hear about your dog I hope he is doing better.  Doing things by myself that we use to do together is so hard. The first time is the hardest, I was changing the batteries in the smoke alarms and just broke down…"
Nov 13
Judyrose replied to DebiT's discussion So many places to say goodbye in the group Widowed in 2019
"I’m So sorry for everyone’s loss. It’s been 5 months for me after 49 years together. I keep telling him it’s been long enough he needs to come back now. Does anyone else feel like they are in a fog? I do some of the dumbest…"
Nov 2
CvilleSarah replied to Judyrose's discussion Lost in the group Widowed in 2019
"I just wanted to say that I’ve been reading through this thread too, and can relate to a lot of the comments and feelings. I am now about 6 weeks in. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand why he…"
Oct 18
Judyrose replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Bobbysgirl What you said really touched my heart. I’m just glad I had his love as long as I did.  Judyrose "
Oct 17
Judyrose replied to Judyrose's discussion New in the group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"  Hope Thank you for your kind words. And I’m sorry for your loss. How long has it been since your loss? I have looked into Grief Support and will be going when they have the session. This site is so helpful.     …"
Oct 17
Judyrose replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Alma I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some comfort here. I have.  That was sure a good statement about grief. That’s what it feels like.  Hugs Judyrose"
Oct 17
Judyrose replied to Judyrose's discussion Lost in the group Widowed in 2019
"DIVA70  Thank you so much for your comments. And concerns. I’m so sorry for your loss I feel your pain. I think when you’re together so long you just grow together So you missed the touch I miss talking And I miss the love. Thank…"
Oct 17

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Judyrose's Blog

Remembering

Posted on September 14, 2019 at 2:54pm 7 Comments

I was with my spouse for almost 50 years. I have been widowed for three months. I miss his touch  so much. When someone has touched you almost  every day for 50 years how do you forget the feeling. I don’t want to forget the feeling yet I don’t want to remember the feeling because it hurt so much.I’m scared I’m going to forget the feeling of his touch . But yet it hurts to remember. 

    Judyrose 

Comment Wall (7 comments)

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At 8:41am on September 16, 2019, chef (John) said…

I wish there were some place on this board where those who are totally new to the widowed experience could compare notes, or those of us who are more experienced could post things. There is no manual for widows/widowers, so everyone initially feels isolated and crazy, when what they're actually feeling is shock, numbness, pain, fear and a need to connect with someone who is experiencing the same thing, or has already "been there". I'm glad you happened across my note and that it helped you a bit. Hugs.

At 7:36pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Hi again Judyrose,

I put Tom's truck on Craigslist monday

and I sold it today.  I know I can't maintain it and with winter just around the corner, I have no place to store it, but I'm still feeling sad.  There is no reason for me to keep it and yet I can't help feeling a piece of me has died.  Never thought a truck would do that to me,but it has. I didn't sell to anyone I knew..thank goodness for that. 

Sue

At 1:42pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Hi Judyrose,

Good to hear from you!

I really struggle keeping 2 places clean.  Before Tom passed I was always a fanatic with cleaning and he would always say just leave it, but I always wanted to keep things orderly, but not anymore!  Like you, I really don't care about keeping everything in order and I really struggle to get anything done.  At times it'll take every ounce of energy to make the bed or do the dishes, simple household chores.  I feel the chaos may be a reflection of my life. There just isn't any order in my life right now.

Judyrose, I to wish I would have said more to Tom. I wish I could look over at him sitting on the couch and tell him I love him, just one more time. But then again, that wouldn't be enough and I would want one more day with him and when that day is over, I'd want another day. The time we had is never enough.  But I also believe over the year and a half he was sick and more importantly the years we had before he got so sick, so much love was shared between us.  I find myself focusing so much on the time he was sick that I forget we had a terrific life before the cancer ravaged his cancer and spirit. So much was said before he got sick that I seem to forget that.  Lately I seem to focus my thoughts on when he was Ill and that I should have done this or said that, but we did have an awesome life before the cancer and we knew each other better than anyone, I wish I could focus on that more and not what I didn't do or say the last year or so.  

I haven't gone out to eat by myself yet.  Yesterday I was trying to figure out what to eat and the restaurant down the street has 1.50 sliders on Wednesday.  I thought... great, I'll walk down there, check it out to see if there were a lot of people, but I ended up walking by the place.  I just didn't feel comfortable sitting by myself.  I did bring a book along  cause I thought that would help, but instead like I said I just walked on by...trying to figure out what to eat is also hard for me.  I guess everything is difficult right now.  

Tom had an older SUV and when he passed my nephew said he would buy it.  I'm not sure if you went through anything like this, but Tom didn't have a lot of material things, but yet I have people saying they'll buy certain things, like my nephew wanting the SUV. I told him no, that's the last thing I'm thinking about is selling Tom's personal stuff.  I really don't want to see my nephew driving in my husband's truck. Does this sound crazy to you?  

Hugs are sent your way!

Sue

At 3:14pm on September 4, 2019, Sueg said…

Hi Judyrose,

Tom and I had a cat for many years that we got from the humane society.  She passed away a year ago.  I kept all her stuff in hopes of getting another cat.  I'm not quite ready yet because I've been going back and forth to our cottage up north. 

Tom passed away up north at the cottage,  those were his wishes. So even though its hard to be here by myself , I feel close to him here.  He loved the cottage and being outside in nature. But winter is right around the corner and  even though we usually kept it open over the winter, I don't think I will this year. There is so much work to be done and I feel so incompetent and that I'm letting Tom down. 

Judyrose,  I smell his clothes and even his shoes!  In fact I have a pair of his shoes in my car that I drive around with.  I miss him terribly and lately I've been finding myself crying more and more.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Hugs,

Sue

At 1:42pm on September 3, 2019, Judyrose said…

Hi Sueg

It was so wonderful to hear from you. Cats are the best. I rescued 2 males about 5 years ago, I lost one in April but I still have the other 

Yes the loneliness is so hard. I’m doing better in public but sometimes I just want to cry even in Walmart. I think this site is wonderful it sure helps to read and hear from other people. The nights are so hard. I put one of my husband ‘s old t- shirts on my pillow it’s so nice to think I’m laying on him. But his smell is almost gone. 

Every day I get up I think maybe today will be better but it’s not. 

   Hugs Back

    Judyrose 

At 1:28pm on September 1, 2019, Sueg said…

Hi Judyrose, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Thank you for reaching out to me.  People who haven't experienced such a painful loss have no idea the heartbreak, loneliness, and sadness that we are going through.  It's an emptiness that at times is unbearable. I'm grateful there is this site that helps people who are going thru this connect.

I went to the animal rescue shelter yesterday and came very close to getting a cat.  I wasn't quite ready, but I believe getting and having an animal, like you did, is good companionship and a bit of a distraction from what we are going through.  

Hugs to you,

Sueg

At 1:46pm on August 29, 2019, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Judyrose. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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