"Bundles, i commend you for following your heart and doing what felt right. The pressure to have a memorial asap is immense. I too, didnt feel ready and wanted to postpone things until the time was right. Unfortunately for me, my inlaws and some…"
"Joy, ouch- I think that person who told you you had to accept you were no longer married deserves a bop on the nose! Many vows dont say till death do us part...mine didnt. And even if they did, we're the only ones who can decide whats right for…"
Haunted is a good word for it. I get that too and apparently it's quite common. I really struggle with being anywhere medical now. Honestly I worked in health care and now can't return to it cause of the reminders and flashbacks.…"
"All these comments about ashes have made me realise at some point I'll have to plan about me, when it's my time. We had no kids and I've recently realised, I'll need to get my affairs in order and make decisions on what will…"
"Terry, i totally get this. I have an ipad and iphone sitting on a shelf and im paying wireless fees for both cause i just cant disconnect them yet. I have to get that part taken care of but then, who knows what I'll do with them! I think just…"
"Nieta, if i had read that wedding ring removal thing in the book i probably would have burned the book! Or torn it up. Suggestions like those feel so judgemental and assuming to me. Ive had more than one person tell me that i dont know what the…"
"Nardly, i like your honesty. I struggle with something similar. And it was pain control in those horrific moments too. My love wasnt lucid but the pain was horrid. I completely understand. I was giving the morphine and knowing i was an RN the dr…"
"Hi Kathryn, I'd love to keep in touch especially since you don't have kids. It's totally different with people who've lost husbands but have kids. I think people even rally around widows with kids more just for that simple fact.…"
Ill accept your hug! Ill write more tomorrow as just got in from a dog walk, havent eaten (another frozen pizza will have to do) and i am utterly exhausted. I relate very much to what youve written. I actualky laughed at the part…"
"Im so emotional tonight, that one trigger from earlier today released a cascade of emotions. I was proud i did stuff today, all told I did 3 different appmts/errands plus groceries, but now i wonder if it was too much. I was tired when i came home,…"
The hug helped, as did your words. They made me cry as they touched me, and to know someone cares and 'gets it' is more hlp than you know. Im also glad im not alone in always considering myself married."
"Ugh. Had a moment today. i did some errands today which was a big step for me.I desperately needed new sneakers as i wear orthotics and my feet have been so sore lately ...new shoes got put to the very bottom of the list when paul passed, until the…"
I get images or flashbacks quite a bit...im hoping they lessen over time, but to say theyre difficult is an understatement. My counselor gave me an exercise to do, she says at a future time i can work through the flashbacks, but for…"
"No more complete,
I agree with what Nieta and Peacoat have said. My counselor told me that even though we often think our gut feelings or thoughts are clouded by our grief, in fact sometimes theyre clearer than ever. It made me think that despite…"
I found that too with people who said they didnt know what to say. I told them, well at least youre talking to me and treating me like a human, unlike 90% of the close family and friends who've just abandoned me. Ok, i never actually said…"
"Happylilycat, i liked the emotional diaper comment. It sums it up. Im done with it too. I was shocked at first but now am just used to it and disillusioned when others throw their so called dirty diapers at me. I was looking at a photo last week of…"
Hi Kathryn, I'd love to keep in touch especially since you don't have kids. It's totally different with people who've lost husbands but have kids. I think people even rally around widows with kids more just for that simple fact. I think we need to help each other though the fog and loneliness. Thank you again!
Hi Kathryn1 ~ Thank you for the friend request ~ although I am very sorry we are both here ~ I am glad you reached out. I don't post often, but lately have been feeling the need to. I am so sorry we are in the same club! HUGS
I am new here, too. My husband died from stage IV melanoma cancer January 12, 2016. Today is two weeks from losing him. I turned 65 last week. Bill was 69. I am feeling depressed and lonely even though I am staying with friends. I don't feel like doing much. As nice as my friends are; they do try to get me to do things......but I really want to just sleep and sleep and not get out of bed.I don't want to go anywhere...... but today is my usual day to pick up my 6 year old grandson from school. I will pick him up because he is the joy of my life right now.
Kathryn1....I just read your post and Im so sorry! My husband also died of pancreatic cancer...he was 54...what a terrible disease. This is all so fresh for you and I totally know what your going through....its been 1 1/2 years for me now. All I can tell you is take it one day at a time...one breath at a time...you will get through this.....
Welcome to Widville, Kathryn1. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.