A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
-
Kelli Dunham
- Female
- Brooklyn, NY
- United States
- Blog Posts (1)
- Discussions (10)
- Events
- Groups (2)
- Photos (3)
- Photo Albums
- Videos
Kelli Dunham's Groups
Kelli Dunham's Page
Latest Activity
Kelli Dunham updated their profile
Kelli Dunham commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group More than one loss (Multiple losses)
"Hey Sisterphoenix, I had a very similar experience time wise, I lost a partner in 2007, thought I'd never fall in love again, fell in love with someone amazing, she developed Hodgkins Lymphoma, then developed complicatoins to the treatment and…"
Kelli Dunham commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"I've been thinking a lot about the dating after widowhood stuff (is there maybe even a group here? I think there might be)...I just passed the one year mark and over the weekend met someone at an event that I thought "hey I want to have…"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Gdab I hear you. I'm 43 (although I just lost my second partner)...I heard a guy say at a support group meeting I go to "too young to give up, too old to start over." I thought...EXACTLY!
No choice though I suppose!"
Kelli Dunham commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Okay is it just me (and maybe this has been discussed elsewhere) but if one more person tells me I am brave I am going to punch them! This is usually in a professional setting when I am doing my job well. It also bugs me that I can't articulate…"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Yeah that makes perfect sense. I think navigating the whole online thing with death and dying is tricky. I can't believe you already started with the clothes. I am 7 months out and not anywhere near ready. It's not easy...."
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Wow, yes and even anticipating a death is so different than it actually happening! Glad you found us, sad you had to. What is your blog?"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I can't believe there are 26 pages of these. And yet, I can.
I don't know about the most insensitive, but some things of the top of my head:
-A friend who when I called and told her Cheryl might die, she ARGUED with me and said…"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Another thing that makes me nuts...anyone who wants me to take care of them around what they did or didn;t do for my partner when she was dying.
What reminded me of this is the "I don't do funerals" because people will sometimes say…"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Hey there. I lost a second partner in June of last year after losing a partner in 2007 to cancer. I still sometimes get remarks from people "oh I heard you have a beautiful new girlfriend" not realizing that Cheryl died as well. In fact, I…"
Kelli Dunham commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Following this thread has made me see what I have as a privilege rather than a (sometimes) burden. Cheryl was a performer and a lot of people really loved her, she'd been in our the little teeny tiny queer performing artist world in NYC for…"
Kelli Dunham replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Hey Jill, my partner died of pulmonary fibrosis as well, but it was the chemo-related. She had hodgkins and the bleomyocin did it. Not very easy, that gasping for breath. I was on some IPF listservs, can't even imagine what it would be like not…"
Kelli Dunham commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Lilterrisue I would say that some things about being a "second helping" widow make it easier, some things make it more difficult. The biggest thing is that I can remember how terrible I felt in those early days after Heather died and that…"
Profile Information
- Would you like to add a statement about you to your profile page? For example, the URL of a blog? This answer will be VISIBLE on your profile page.
- I wrote a funny/tragic book that includes stories about the loss of both my partners. Called Freak of Nurture, it's due out from Topside Press in May 2013. You can read excerpts etc at freakofnurture.org
Kelli Dunham's Photos
Kelli Dunham's Blog
Introductory Post
Posted on September 13, 2011 at 6:29am 2 Comments 0 Likes
Hey everyone:
I'm er...glad to be here? Well okay not glad, but glad to have found this site which in my head is called Widowbook, ie like facebook but with people who get it.
My beautiful partner Cheryl died on June 18, 2011. She had hodgkin's lymphoma (yeah yeah the cancer EVERYONE gets better from. Except not really) but she actually died of bleomyocin toxicity, which is a pulmonary reaction to the chemo. She was in the hospital for three months, almost died very early in…
ContinueComment Wall (6 comments)
- At 1:44pm on January 7, 2012,
Dianne in Nevada said… I can't post in the 'Widowed in 2011' group since I'm in the 2010 group, but just wanted to say .... UGH! To make such statements as facts based on a few small studies is just ridiculous. I would venture to say the writers have not experienced any close losses themselves.
I especially found this statement irresponsible: "Given that most people who have experienced the death of a loved one show few signs of distress or depression, many bereaved individuals may need no particular advice or help."
While his final paragraph did acknowledge that grief is different for all, I found the article to be not worth reading by anyone who has experienced a significant loss. We have enough people telling us to 'get over it', we don't need science writers to jump on that, too.
- At 6:50am on September 15, 2011,
carolynne said… - Kelli, I'm so very sorry for the loss that brings you here. I hope you will find the same support and understanding that I have. Welcome.
- At 12:01am on September 15, 2011,
CP13 said… Kelli,
Yes, our partners had a part within them that wasn't ready to die...after some time has passed for me, I now see her telling me that as an invitation to me to keep her alive by sharing stories, her generosity, and love with others. I love my Sally Girl and more than anything in the world, I wish she didn't have to go. I am sure you can relate.
Glad to know that the community pitched in and that you felt support and feel support.
Connie
- At 10:34pm on September 14, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
Pleased you found us, Kelli. I see you've joined some groups and are checking out the forums. There are so many great conversations going on here. I'm so sorry to read that you've had two losses.
- At 7:14pm on September 13, 2011,
Lisa (lost) Lamb said…
- Welcome Kelli, So glad you found us....so sorry for the reason you had to look.I know you will find great comfort and understanding here just as I have. I have met so many wonderful and caring people that truly get the rollercoaster of emotions that go along with loss.
- At 11:34pm on September 12, 2011,
wannabmartha said… So sorry for the reason that you’re here but glad you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same road together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
HOT TOPICS!
© 2013 Created by Supa Dupa Fresh.
