i know how people who have not been widowed can say the most patronising things without meaning too. No one says to my stepdaughter “you can get another dad”, but they say to me that I’ll meet someone else, as if my…"
"On another note, for us who were born in the 1950s, here’s a link to a video of a song that has always brought me to tears in a happy/sad way since we did this musical at school in the 70s. Little did I know then how true it would ring for me…"
"Ditto - I get this a lot. I live in a university town (Cambridge, England) and whenever I go out to any cultural event, I am surrounded by a sea of gentlemen of a certain age (retired), silver hair, grey beard, same clothes, just like my darling. It…"
"This takes a long time to get used to. A year is nothing. It’s absolutely OK to feel this way. I too have withdrawn from friends who haven’t lost anyone and don’t get it. I too find comfort in the company of other…"
"These posts are really moving and helpful to me I haven’t passed the year mark, but I’m already thinking about it as winter comes. For me, it’ll be 28th February. I’m dreading the thought that everyone else will think I…"
"I’m so sorry Shelly. Just let the sadness flow- we are here to hear you. I think that there is nothing we can do do to brace ourselves. They always tell you that if you’re caught by a riptide while swimming in the ocean, you should go…"
"Riet, I know that ache - wanting so hard the one thing in the world that we can’t have. It’s really hard. Just try to breathe and think about getting through the next few hours. I try only to live in the ‘now’ because…"
"You really don't know which holidays will be hardest. I found that C's birthday was hard because it made me think about the whole of his life, and that included the end of it and the fact that he would not live to see the age or ever be…"
"I too dread my first Christmas without Chris. He loved mince pies and all the Xmas trappings. I’ve planned to go away with a friend who is also at loose ends, but the buildup to the season is getting me down. It also means that winter is…"
"Ríete, I’m sorry that you had to experience this. Unfortunately, it’s very common. I find that even some close friends refrainfrom mentioning my husband, so I always bring him up. I refuse to allow him to be forgotten or to be…"
"This is still so recent and so raw. It is only a matter of weeks. I’m at 9 months and still feel as if I have had a layer of skin stripped off. You will go through a rollercoaster of emotion, but just keep hold of the idea that you will…"
"Yes, the replacement idea is insulting. No one tells my daughter she’ll get another father. I wince when people say, “ But don’t worry, you’re still young!” when I haven’t even expressed any desire to meet…"
"It is a sunny, mild autumn afternoon, with a cloudless sky (rare in England), so I went into the garden to try my hand at pruning and tidying. It makes me feel closer to Chris, because was the gardener in the family (and I haven't a clue what…"
"Shelley, I know just how you feel around friends. My friends are very dear and have helped me a lot since Chris died almost 9 months ago, but none of them has suffered the loss of someone close (they even still have their parents), and they just…"
"October 15th - it's my darling Chris' birthday today. I got thought my birthday, our wedding anniversary OK-ish, but this one is really awful. It's raining hard outside and all I want to do is curl up in bed with the cat and dog. But…"
Welcome to Widville, LP. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here. Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. And the "chat room" is open 24/7. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.