" Not sure if I qualify as seasoned ( 4+ years) but I relate to how you feel. For me I guess a good analogy is that I'm walking on shifting sands. If I turn around the path behind me has disappeared. If I look ahead the mirage that was the…"
You are so correct that not everyone is a pet person. I find it helps but of course I understand what you're saying.
That whole idea of not having answers seems to be a big one, doesn't it? I personally think…"
"That doesn't sound strange at all. Sounds perfectly normal to me.
I actually came across another thread here on WV that is titled "Has Anyone Else Gotten Worse As Time Goes By?" It seems there are a lot of us in…"
"Dear Everyone, My deepest condolences to one and all. I'm right there with you. Just over 4 years for me. I was writing to some newer widows just the other day. They are at 3-6 months and wondering why they are feeling worse.…"
"Dear Patra, KJPE, RFZ and anyone else in the early stages,
My heart goes out to you from one who has been going through this for 4 years, 4 months and 7 days. No, I don't keep track of it on a daily basis, but it's easy to calculate…"
"I hear you Tony. And of course we know they mean well. It's just that their lives returned to their "normal" after your ( my ) loss, so for them it is just coming up as a reminder. They haven't been living with the…"
"It's true. Unless someone has been through this they really have NO IDEA. That is why we are here for each other on this site.
I came across a book earlier this year. It was good for me. I only wish it had been available…"
I'm with you. I truly despise the coloquialisms that we have been raised with in our society. As if "positive thinking" can take care of things. The western world is severely lacking in what other cultures or…"
"Dear Cushty (Angel) and LostandSad,
We are normal. It is the most unbearable, excruciating thing that a loving heart can go through. So terrible in fact that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So terrible that I will…"
"Hi Lady G!
I could have written your post!
" In my present life I try to stay "in the moment" so I don't go down the rabbit hole of anguish but I think I'm starting to realize that I'm in a phase where I'm…"
"Another excellent representation of feelings. Obviously this artist, Celeste Roberts, has been here too else how could she have so beautifully illustrated what a feeling impossible to convey with words ? Thank you for adding to this…"
What a fabulous photo of your wedding. Five bucks ? You look amazing ! And you are both so happy. Though the past joy does not compensate the present sorrow I am glad you had those happy times. Thank you for…"
"I love that picture of the two of you.
This quote became one of my favorites when I found it in the first year after Jim's passing.
"And ever has it been that love knows not it's own depth until the hour of its…"
I sympathize wholeheartedly. Mine is on a different level but I feel your pain. We lived in the Northwest in a small rented house, and talk about projects! We were working on one GIANT one that was our retirement dream. We had…"
"Oh my goodness...8 weeks is so new to the spectrum. I feel your pain. As Shellybean said it can feel like only a minute ago and then feel like it's been forever. I wish I could help you through this but the awful reality is…"
" In my present life I try to stay "in the moment" so I don't go down the rabbit hole of anguish but I think I'm starting to realize that I'm in a phase where I'm purposefully suppressing memories to avoid the pain of my loss. Therefore when something comes up that that makes me think about my beloved I am immediately reunited with that hot searing grief of the original pain. Just needing to know I'm sorta normal of I'm not one of those people who is doing "better" at this point in time."
I do the EXACT same thing....it is too painful still!!!! I think you and I ARE normal...grief is a strange thing. I actually feel worse now....I think it's a good idea to stay in the moment. That's what do. Now, I don't try to fight my sadness - I think it is just appropriate and recognize that what it is.
I'd love to chat with you - I'll send you a friend request.
I put in a friend request. Then we can talk. I live near downtown LA in Montecito Heights. I co-lead a local Soaring Spirits group. We are meeting next at Twohey's restaurant in Alhambra on August 13at 7 p.m.y6. See you then..
Welcome to Widville, LadyG. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here.
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