"I find the hurt comes hardest when I least expect it. There are just so many triggers. I was so happy this morning, looking over the little quilt I made to commemorate my granddaughter's upcoming confirmation. I even included a…"
"You know, watching all the programming about Boston yesterday, my heart just bled for the families of those who were killed or injured. Widowhood opened my eyes to the depth of pain loved ones experience in a way I never would have understood…"
"Hi Rob - welcome and so sorry for your loss. This is a good place with good people who will support you and share experiences. I'm struck by the notion of a young family dealing with such a difficult experience. My heart goes…"
"I don't know if it's grief or grief plus this never ending winter, but I just can't seem to get anything done. I was so driven in the first year - partly not to completely break down, partly out of fear that I wasn't going…"
"I'm at 18 months and I just wonder if I'll ever have a purpose again. Forever just stretches out there endlessly. I too can say I'm doing well - I have enough of everything and I have a routine and such good people in my life. …"
"Such silly things that do us in. I had a lovely weekend and was gung ho to start the week - then the socks got me. Bob and I always wore plain white sweat socks in the house and I bought them by the bunch. Well, since he's…"
"I don't get as angry or as often as I did - I think the walls and dishes are relieved. I find that now I get angry when I have to repair something or have a series of challenges and I find myself asking - Where are you? I can do anything…"
"Forever is always hard to deal with. We manage life in snippets - parts of every day, but once in a while we are forced to face the truth -they aren't here and they aren't coming back. I think I, and maybe others, have…"
"DonnaReid - you just want to say to them, "Why are you making this awful thing so much more difficult -- can't you see at all what's going on here?"
Suzanne: It's remarkable to me as how time passes, the…"
So sorry about your Lucy! We had crazy siamese cats before we got our beagle. The pedigreed one protected my daughter like an attack dog. The kitties lived to be 18 and 19 yrs old. We were pet free for a year and I couldn't stand it. I had a mixed beagle growing up so it was easy to talk me into one. This pedigreed bagel is nuts. He is nine years old and still gets in trouble every day - always eating something he shouldn't. He opens the fridge, jumps up on the table, unzips purses, gets in the trash cans, tears up bills, you name it. Walking him seems to make him crazier. But, he is the one thing that can still make me laugh! All the best. Jocelyn.
hi lucy. so so sorry for your loss. wanted to tell you i loved the photo of your beags. i have one too. we love him but he is very, very bad! he drove my husband nuts with his constant foraging for anything to eat (not just food). LOL. take care.
"Hello, May I respectfully suggest that you check out www.breakthrugrief.wordpress.com which has free videos of others who have lost and grieve telling their stories and offering coping strategies that worked for them and perhaps you. Len"
Lucy, I so know what you mean about not being able to tell the folks who loved our sweethearts, about what they went through, even remotely. I soon realized, he wouldn't want that, they didn't need it, and therefore, that kind of sharing wasn't going to help me, either. But little by little, I have been able to let little bits of the story out, here...I haven't attempted yet to put the whole thing out at once. Not sure I could handle it, though I suspect it would be helpful. Some of what you touched on about your husband's journey made me catch my breath, it seems so similar to what Billie had to endure, things I've barely mentioned anywhere. The leak into his lungs, for instance, though Billie's lung leaked out, not in, after a biopsy that never should have been ordered. His main doctor there at the hospital was in tears, when she saw what it had done to him, and she was so furious that the oncologist had ordered it in the first place, we had only just found out his cancer was back...he was hospitalized for pneumonia and MRSA at the trach site - both of which he beat...but the cancer returned, we found out, within a week of his dying, mainly from the results of that lung biopsy - the bad side effect the doctor who performed it had not bothered to mention was a possibility, and which he would have known was going to happen, if he had looked more carefully at Billie's x-rays. The year before, another doc had refused to do a lung biopsy on Billie, because of the condition of his lungs, from CPOD. I was hysterical, trying to warn Billie and the doctor, but Billie wanted to know what kind of cancer it was, and this doc made it sound like a walk in the park ("if we collapse the lung, we just insert a chest tube, and a couple days later that comes out.") I had to let Billie make the decision, he was someone who always wanted all the information before making a decision. But, the lung collapsed, they put in the chest tube, and later that day, he began a condition called subcutaneous emphysema. It was sci-fi horror movie in front of my eyes, and he finally agreed to hospice, later that day, or the next, I guess, and was gone three days later. Okay, without the gory details, there is one part of our horror story, you will either recognize the term, or not, and if not, you don't need to know what it means, it is too horrible to conceive of. But, I want you to know, you can share anything you need to here, with me or with others. I know I am full of PTSD, about that last year and a half of his life. It helps to tell our stories, over and over as much as we need to. Especially when we know the person listening is really listening. I am so sorry for all you and your sweet man went through. Sending you lots of good vibes to wrap around you, love and understanding. We will get through this, to a place where we can remember the good and the bad recedes. We'll talk more before long. Take good care.
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Lucy, congrats on being able to host such a large event on such a stressful day. It sounds like your husband was a wonderful guy who touched a lot of people. I'm glad they were there to support you. My husband was also the outgoing one in the relationship.
Welcome LucyGoo: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
I'm so very sorry for your loss, LucyGoo, but glad you found us. There is caring support and friendship here. Here's a good place to start: Basic Site Info
Join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Those 'chirps' you hear when you're in Widowed Village mean people are talking in the Chat Room; stop in some time and join the conversations. I look forward to getting to know you here.