This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Mariposa's Discussions

How Am I Supposed to LIVE Without YOU?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Mariposa Jan 2, 2014. 5 Replies

The guy that did the book "Humans of New York" encountered an elderly woman on the streets of New York and took her photograph and shared her story. What she shared made him break down in tears.She…Continue

Tags: survival, continuing, without, living, love


Started this discussion. Last reply by Mariposa Sep 4, 2013. 3 Replies

I was looking at the company website of the place my husband spent the last 15 years of his life. He spent more time with co-workers during those 15 years than with his wife and son. It is a sad…Continue

Tags: illness, coping, regrets, cancer, bereft

Holidays Are Hard

Started this discussion. Last reply by Mariposa Nov 20, 2012. 11 Replies

Thanksgiving is next week, but already I seem to be experiencing a hard time emotionally, struggling to stay present with the here and now, when my heart and mind wander to the past and dwell on all…Continue

Tags: depressed, angst, regrets, vs.gloom, cheer


Started this discussion. Last reply by Mariposa Jun 28, 2012. 10 Replies

I am not ready for dating as it has only been four months since I lost my husband, but I have to get some perspective on something. My husband was the only one married in his family of SIX boys. Yes,…Continue

Tags: people, toxic, brother-in-law


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It's the MOST MISERABLE TIME of the Year! (Sing it Folks!)

Posted on December 14, 2014 at 8:00am 0 Comments

Ah, the holidays. Lights twinkling, friends and family gathering, candles glowing, and frost nipping at your nose. And then GRIEF tripping you on your own toes.  Yeah, it is hard to slog through it. If only there was a fast forward button to breeze my way through this season. All that disgusting joy outside but such sadness on the inside which is why it can be the most miserable time of year.

This time of year is so hard for anyone with a recent loss, especially the loss of a spouse.…



Posted on June 11, 2014 at 1:16pm 2 Comments

This weekend it will be Father's Day, and as a widow still raising a teen boy, the grief wave has hit me already. Grief rears its head unexpectedly and has a life of its own, so I surrender to it and ride the wave until it passes.

Then today in the mail an envelope arrives with my husband's full name on it and I wondered what could this "time sensitive information" actually be, since he has been dead for 30 months. (It's a little late, don't you think? Sorry, a little warped widow…



Posted on May 27, 2014 at 11:01am 1 Comment

"The prism of widowhood clarifies priorities." I wrote that on my planner on the Monday of Feb. 24, 2014, a few days before what would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary. For some reason, today I opened up to that page in my planner.

I guess in a way widowhood is a sort of laser vision. What is important? Family, love, friends, and time spent together with those we cherish. 

I now have this effective filter that strains out so much of the rubbish…


Sorry, But the Allowable Time Period for Mourning Has Expired....

Posted on February 23, 2014 at 3:58am 17 Comments

That is the expectation that I keep bumping into from well meaning friends and relatives, and those are not the words that come out of their mouths, but it is essentially the message: "Sorry, the allowable time period for mourning has expired."  I know that their well meaning words come from a place out of ignorance of not having any comprehension of the heartbreak and devastation of losing a spouse.

I have shared that this month has been hard because of significant…


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At 2:54am on July 25, 2014, Wanderer530 (Bernie) said…

Yes, I've only recently felt that a part of myself has been restored.  I've also started exercising so I'm very happy about that.  And oldest son is a Senior this school year, so I definitely have anxieties.

What about you? Are you working?  What have you been up too?

At 7:07am on September 13, 2013, angioguy (Joe) said…

You write amazing posts they are so from your heart and easy to understand.  Thank you for helping me in so many ways.  Peace Joe

At 9:41am on August 23, 2013, Wanderer530 (Bernie) said…

Hi Friend!  I've been enjoying your posts . . . very "REAL." 

At 2:05pm on August 16, 2013, Wanderer530 (Bernie) said…

  Know that Solace, Respite, Beginnings, & Joy  you WILL KNOW AGAIN ~ Believe.   bernie

At 8:03pm on June 23, 2013, Petal said…

Hi Mariposa,  I have seen your posts and feel a connection with you.  I know you said once that you found out some stuff about your husband after he died.  I have some issues like that, but I am not comfortable sharing those to everyone.  I thought if we became friends, we could chat privately about these sensitive topics.  Thank you and if this seems ok, please accept my friend request.

At 3:55pm on June 11, 2013, Nata said…

Thank you everybody for your support and kind words. My husband died suddenly from massive heart attack in front of my eyes. I did CPR until EMS arrived. I feel guilty I didn't save his life, my husband never complained and I feel guilty I should pay more attention to his health, I should, I would ..... I  am RN and understand he probbably wouldn't survive with type of blockage he had but if I would....

At 8:19am on June 11, 2013, Gordy's widow said…

Mariposa you truly have a beautiful soul.....

At 7:15pm on June 9, 2013, TamilovesTim said…
Thank you for your very sweet comment. I'm trying to be's much harder this time around. I lost my soulmate and best friend. It's nice to know there are kind people that understand. God bless you.
At 10:32am on May 25, 2013, Letha said…

Thank-you for remark you left on my page. Yes, another loss so soon is hard. I thought I'd done well moving on from the loss of my husband, but this brought it all back. I am hoping my sister and brother-in-law will move back here. They currently live ten hrs. away, but have been talking about coming back to be closer to me. That sure would be nice.

At 8:04pm on April 27, 2013, Paula said…

Mariposa, I am so in awe and humbled by what you wrote on Tuesday in the group 2011. Would like to privately chat with you.


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