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Mark99
  • Male
  • New York, NY
  • United States
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Mark99 posted a blog post

Donna, A Photo Memoir Of Love and Loss

My wife Donna died in 2011. I was blessed to find Widowed Village and be introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez.Early on in the group widowed in 2011 I found voices similar to mine who shared my fears and my grief. Voices that face the same struggles I did. I found my footing here and other places. Though in all honesty I will not abandon (close) my grief because I see closure as indifference and denial said pretty. I will not abandon Donna's memory or our/my love. My grief was a path to…See More
Mar 18
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"Chef (John) Thank you all for the kindness about the book. As more people are reading the book and are from different age groups I am struck by how each demographic, age, etc finds a message or something in the writing to highlight and note. That s…"
Mar 18
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"Hi all. I wanted to share my book which is now available on various e-book sites. The print version is finished and ready but I need to get onto book store sites.  Donna, A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss  Jennifer Fox who is  the…"
Mar 3
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"Sad One I will confess here that I as well have those intrusive thoughts of others. I don't show or speak it just that conversation in my head. And I am trying to tone it down but I need to know why, I am not jealous of others though the…"
Mar 3
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"The entire holding hand reaction is mine as well. Though truth be told it has diminished in the visual and memory pain it delivers. It has been replaced with couples gazing into each others eyes smiling. As they should love is like that and like the…"
Dec 12, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"My heart reaches out to each and everyone of you still here helping ourselves and others to walk our collective journey with hope, heads up, support, and love. You all rock."
Nov 24, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"I believe the support and help found here has helped me greatly to manage and understand my loss and grief. I have also learned that what I thought was loneliness is in fact solitude. That solitude has been a path to integrated knowledge and love…"
Nov 19, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"More of my ongoing engagement with my grief and loss.  New Post: “My Grief is My Sims” Grief is a world created by death & fueled by memories Grief world does not have to be painful & stagnant Grief world mimics the worlds…"
Nov 1, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"I love and cherish this group as well. It is the insight, heart felt posts, and the fact we are in this together and help each other survive and grow. Grief, loss, love, and mourning come in waves and everyone here is a lighthouse guiding me. Thank…"
Oct 21, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"Dianne thank you for the kind words. I will note that it was pretty much my mom who got me to this point. As a kid she would have all of us but especially me do chores, laundry, learn to cook. sew, iron, etc. One day at age 12 or so I said,…"
Aug 29, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"John, yup snicker is about right for me now as well. Thinking about your comments I would agree grief and love are not inversely proportional and to think otherwise is an exercise in statical bullshit. At least to me.  Ahhh the entire closure…"
Aug 28, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"“This Too Shall Pass When I Say So And On My Terms” Have you like me wondered, "Do I have my grief right?     https://www.donnathebook.com/blog/2018/8/25/this-too-shall-pass-because-i-say-so-on-my-terms"
Aug 27, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"I think we call all agree the death anniversary is a difficult day month etc. Here are my thoughts. Mark “August 7, 2011 5:50PM An End A Beginning” http://bit.ly/2M8X4kG From July till August the waves of memories rage and roil within…"
Aug 7, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"Cee chef (John) Thank you for the comments and thoughts. For me as the time in the rear view mirror is far greater than in the windshield my thoughts coalesce around what I can take forward since my life, my grief, my memories can or may benefit…"
Jul 12, 2018
Mark99 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2011
"“Does A Memory Love You?” We embrace memories because they act as mortar holding the worn bricks of our lives together. Memories refresh our thirst for meaning of the unknown. https://bit.ly/2KIUxgl"
Jul 5, 2018
Mark99 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion When did you remove your wedding rings?
"It is so interesting and telling about when you took of your rings. I wore mine which were two the original wedding bands of two rolling rings one pink gold the other yellow and for the ten year anniversary a plain band with amor vincit ominia…"
Mar 7, 2018

Profile Information

Mark99's Blog

Donna, A Photo Memoir Of Love and Loss

Posted on March 18, 2019 at 7:03am 0 Comments

My wife Donna died in 2011. I was blessed to find Widowed Village and be introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez.

Early on in the group widowed in 2011 I found voices similar to mine who shared my fears and my grief. Voices that face the same struggles I did. I found my footing here and other places. Though in all honesty I will not abandon (close) my grief because I see closure as indifference and denial said pretty. I will not abandon Donna's memory or our/my love. My grief was a path…

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The Barbs and Cortege of Memories

Posted on February 10, 2016 at 1:56pm 1 Comment

February 14th 2016 is Valentines Day for all of us. For Donna it would have been her 64th trip around the Sun. This annual sojourn of circling the Sun ended in 2011. Yet her ashes and memories continue to race through my personal solar system. “All we are is what we leave behind." I am left behind, your memory is not.

http://www.bioc.net/blog/2016/2/10/the-barbs-and-cortege-of-memories…

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Domesticating The Feral Nature of Grief

Posted on October 28, 2015 at 3:50pm 1 Comment

Sun Magazine had interview that struck a resonant chord with my writings on loss and grief. “The Geography of Sorrow” the interview is with Francis Weller a psychotherapist specializing in grief and…

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My Interview Podcast

Posted on April 30, 2014 at 3:34pm 0 Comments

Podcast #7 Meet Mark: Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.…

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Comment Wall (8 comments)

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At 10:31am on November 15, 2012, Renee said…

Hi Mark,

How are you doing? I hope you are doing well and just to busy to be around. 

This time of year is hard, I hope you have family and friends around. Robert's birthday is the 24th (62), it's seems harder this year than last, I think I was just to numb to feel, but not anymore. Were you able to weather the storm?

I've been thinking of you and hope you are okay, Hugs

At 9:41am on September 13, 2012, Len Heisler said…

"Hello, May I respectfully suggest that you check out www.breakthrugrief.wordpress.com which has free videos of others who have lost and grieve telling their stories and offering coping strategies that worked for them and perhaps you. Len"

At 5:17pm on August 25, 2012, maddogdolly said…

Hi Mark,

I haven't made that trip to Maine yet.  Very frustrating.  Something or other keeps getting in the way.  It's still on the radar and still on the very short list though.  I hope you make it up there -Fall is so beautiful there.  Where 'bouts are you headed?  Personally, I'd love to tour  the whole state, but I'm really into the coastline.

Take care of yourself.

At 6:43pm on July 10, 2012, Eileen said…

Hi Mark.  You are very welcome.  It is a wonderful site.  I am so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to endure.  As August 7 approaches, I too am remembering all the events that occured in July.  Very painful.

I hope that you are doing OK this week.

At 6:58pm on June 19, 2012,
VOLUNTEER
Soaring Spirits
said…

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin

At 5:21pm on June 15, 2012, Joyce said…

Welcome Mark: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".

At 9:18am on June 9, 2012, Mark99 said…

I guess no one wants to be here, but here is where we are as part of a passage. Thank you all for the warmth

At 12:39am on June 9, 2012, Lisa (lost) Lamb said…

Welcome Mark to the one group I wish none of us needed to belong too. I hope you will find comfort and understanding here like I have. This is a wonderful community with kind, and friendly people, we are here when you need us.

 
 
 

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