"I've been away from the site for a bit but I read the posts that come to my mail. Again I must reinforce how important and smart this community is to my understanding of my own greif and healing. Every post and comment holds a bit of light and…"
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Mark99
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Eileen liked Mark99's blog post A Film Project: Palliation and Hospice Care
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Christina
Decathexis is the word. Freud (I was told) used the word CATHEXIS to talk about attachment. My supervisor talked about the process of grief being the work of "DECATHEXIS" and that is the tying off the threads (the warp & the…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Jenn: Donna passed away 8/7/11 as well and I have been lucky to have friends and some work to keep me occupied. At the same time I know how isolated it can be. It is only me so that is easier. I have used this time to create my memory tapestry of…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"You all are so wonderful and helpful. It is amazing how I am facing many of the same feelings and actions. My year was August 7.
I nearly done with donating clothes shoes bags etc. I have not touched the dresser or the vanity. I like seeing…"
Len Heisler left a comment for Mark99
""Hello, May I respectfully suggest that you check out www.breakthrugrief.wordpress.com which has free videos of others who have lost and grieve telling their stories and offering coping strategies that worked for them and perhaps you. Len""
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Thank you Brian. I love teenagers they are so in the moment. Let them teach you how to dress not like a dad... LOL Seriously dad dressing is depressing. I dont have kids and Donna can't help me. I'm screwed.
Okay you guys up for some…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"LOL I love you all. The reason I am laughing is because I've been here for a few months and have learned so much. I hope I've returned to others as well. I was thinking about how maybe it's time to move forward with my life since I…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"I am following this thread closly since I now have reached the first anniversary of Donna's passing (08/07). I took cakes to the infusion lab and the hospice. Surprisingly it was rather unrewarding, everyone was busy. I guess I should not look…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"This is telling for me to see that others share my behavior by what I keep and don't and what is cherished. Sigh, seriously good to be here and know others struggle to find a balance.
Regarding the cell phone. I just called AT&T was ready…"
maddogdolly left a comment for Mark99
"Hi Mark,
I haven't made that trip to Maine yet. Very frustrating. Something or other keeps getting in the way. It's still on the radar and still on the very short list though. I hope you make it up there -Fall is so…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Hi all, I haven't been posting here but reading with great interest everyones thoughts, considerations, emotions, and realities. I am very struck by how what you all are doing and going through reflects so much on my process. And more important…"
Mark99 commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2011
"Chris: Well said and accurate for me "I fight my grief, I experience it, I don't think I hide from it, but I really hate it. I accept sorrow, but grief incapacitates." That experience and fight within it has been productive. Again I…"
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Mark99's Blog
A Film Project: Palliation and Hospice Care
Posted on April 17, 2013 at 8:18pm 0 Comments 1 Like
I have been working to produce a documentary, The topic is palliative and hospice care. The reason is that it gave me and most of all my wife of 28 years Donna a great gift. This country needs to have more discussions about palliation and hospice. So I am producing a short 10 minute documentary on this topic that will be used as a discussion guide, a teaching tool, a CME tool, and more. It will not answer all questions but will open the discussion.
I have two Emmy award winning…
Thoughts
Posted on June 23, 2012 at 10:07pm 0 Comments 2 Likes
I have just joined and am finding my way around this site. I saw your post and thought I would respond in kind. Donna, my wife of 29+ years, died last August 7. It was NSCLC. She was told at her diagnosis that she had six months to live. It was done via voice mail at work. Yup horrific but the primary care doc felt so guilty he got us an amazing oncologist who was brilliant and caring and he lead us all the way.
We all grieve differently and need to find our balance and place…
Continue Nothing special just musing
Posted on June 23, 2012 at 10:03pm 7 Comments 0 Likes
It will be a year August 7 that Donna, my wife of 29+ years, passed away at MJHS Hospice in NYC. It was somewhat of a fast process from her admission on July 11 to have a thoracentesis performed which did not work to being moved to hospice July 18th. This past year has been one of discovery and extreme emotions ranging from ideation to joy in knowing that I have learned so much both during our marriage to the time following her death. But from the time of her dx 2 1/2 years earlier we both…
Continue Eulogy
Posted on June 16, 2012 at 12:45pm 6 Comments 1 Like
Here is what I wrote and spoke at the funeral it's from last year but I've not shared it here.
Donna and I have come full circle. By pure coincidence we are back where we began. Down the block on MacDougal Street I asked her to marry me one Christmas. She told me to keep it a secret while she wore the Elsa Peretti diamond earrings I got her. Friday nights we would go to Monte’s for some Italian. (Reminded us of eating in Irvington NJ.) Later we went whole hog and ate at Café Dante a…
ContinueComment Wall (8 comments)
- At 2:31pm on November 15, 2012,
Renee said… Hi Mark,
How are you doing? I hope you are doing well and just to busy to be around.
This time of year is hard, I hope you have family and friends around. Robert's birthday is the 24th (62), it's seems harder this year than last, I think I was just to numb to feel, but not anymore. Were you able to weather the storm?
I've been thinking of you and hope you are okay, Hugs
- At 1:41pm on September 13, 2012,
Len Heisler said… "Hello, May I respectfully suggest that you check out www.breakthrugrief.wordpress.com which has free videos of others who have lost and grieve telling their stories and offering coping strategies that worked for them and perhaps you. Len"
- At 9:17pm on August 25, 2012,
maddogdolly said… Hi Mark,
I haven't made that trip to Maine yet. Very frustrating. Something or other keeps getting in the way. It's still on the radar and still on the very short list though. I hope you make it up there -Fall is so beautiful there. Where 'bouts are you headed? Personally, I'd love to tour the whole state, but I'm really into the coastline.
Take care of yourself.
- At 10:43pm on July 10, 2012,
Eileen said… Hi Mark. You are very welcome. It is a wonderful site. I am so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to endure. As August 7 approaches, I too am remembering all the events that occured in July. Very painful.
I hope that you are doing OK this week.
- At 10:58pm on June 19, 2012,
VOLUNTEERSupa Dupa Fresh said… Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin
- At 9:21pm on June 15, 2012,
Joyce said… Welcome Mark: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
- At 1:18pm on June 9, 2012,
Mark99 said… I guess no one wants to be here, but here is where we are as part of a passage. Thank you all for the warmth
- At 4:39am on June 9, 2012,
Lisa (lost) Lamb said…
Welcome Mark to the one group I wish none of us needed to belong too. I hope you will find comfort and understanding here like I have. This is a wonderful community with kind, and friendly people, we are here when you need us.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
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