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Melissa
  • Female
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Harvdzny, my husband's family is the same. They never liked me, but they adored him. I wasn't good enough for him. After 22 years of marriage, they didn't even speak to me in the hospital. There were two funerals! One for his family…"
Oct 15
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Roxi, it's so good to hear from you! I think of you so often, and I think of you as my friend. Big hug to you."
Oct 13
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"That's the hardest thing for me. Nobody will ever love me like he did. I felt safe in the world because he was in it. Even if we weren't near each other, we were together. Now there's nothing. It will be three years in November.…"
Oct 12
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm coming up on the Season of Melissa and Gilbert. My birthday is on October 20. Gilbert had his stroke on October 24, 2017. We met on October 30, 1994. The last time Gilbert was able to speak to me was on October 31, 2017. We had our first…"
Sep 13
Melissa replied to jpann39's discussion Missing my husband, best friend and soul mate in the group Suddenly Widowed
"jpann, I am terribly sorry for your loss. My husband passed away suddenly in 2017. Once I'd finished the "business of death" and had no other tasks to do for my husband, I realized how alone I was and had no idea how to proceed. I…"
Aug 31
Melissa replied to jlsrdh's discussion 2 years today in the group Born in the 50s
"Wishing you peace, one day at a time.  I talk to my husband all the time. It helps.  Take care of yourself today; your husband would want you to. Hugs~ Melissa"
Aug 20
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"* Rather cook or wash dishes: Both. * Favorite Pie: Cherry * Steak or Seafood: I'm a vegetarian, but black bean burgers are very good. * Italian or Chinese: Italian * Pepsi or coke: Classic Coke, Diet Pepsi * Favorite ice cream: Peach * How…"
Aug 2
Jeaniegurl left a comment for Melissa
"thank you, fires everywhere sround me out west, need my hubs more than ever! I am traumatized! xo"
Jul 7
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Roxi! It's so good to hear from you! How are you? I think of you so often. Much love!"
Jun 27
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Brave2b1, from what know about 12 step programs, your turn your life over to your Higher Power. Prayer and meditation can be very comforting. Have you talked to your sponsor? I know there are meetings online every day. You could find one."
Jun 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"In the three years I've been on this site, I've been met with nothing but kindness and empathy. We, like all good friends, tell each other what we need to hear, not necessarily what we want to hear. This is not a situation anyone would…"
Jun 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Brave2b1, What's important is knowing you aren't alone in your grief. I think by reading your posts that you're under the impression that you can go to a site that will cure your grief. This is the god's honest truth. We are all…"
Jun 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Linda, I had something similar happen recently. I was reading in bed and kind of dozing and just reached my hand out to Gilbert's side of the bed because we always held hands as we were going to sleep. I swear I felt him take it. His hand felt…"
Jun 16
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Hi All! I'm reading your comments and thinking about you all, but I'm just too tired and sad to write much. This isolation isn't good for us. Take care of yourselves.  Wishing you peace and comfort."
May 30
Jeaniegurl left a comment for Melissa
"Thank you, Melissa. I am also very sorry for your loss. Jeanie"
May 30
Jeaniegurl left a comment for Melissa
"thnx so very much."
May 13

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Melissa's Blog

Home Alone

Posted on April 5, 2018 at 11:22am 12 Comments

Gilbert died five months ago, and I'm beginning to realize that the Old Melissa died with him. Now I have to invent the New Melissa or allow her to surface; I'm not sure how it works.

It's so odd to suddenly not have a routine. I don't have to wear ear buds if I want to listen to music in bed late at night. The dog doesn't mind if it's noisy at 2:00 am. I can eat dinner at three in the afternoon or midnight and nobody cares. I don't have to cook for anybody…

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Just One Phone Call

Posted on March 26, 2018 at 7:38pm 18 Comments

Nobody but someone in this situation would understand what I'm about to share. 

I feel crazy, but grief is crazy sometimes. My husband has been dead for almost five months, but I need to call him. I have something important to tell him.

It's related to something in the news that we talked about and followed, and I know he'd really…

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Comment Wall (14 comments)

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At 4:53pm on July 7, 2020, Jeaniegurl said…

thank you, fires everywhere sround me out west, need my hubs more than ever! I am traumatized!

xo

At 9:49am on May 30, 2020, Jeaniegurl said…

Thank you, Melissa.

I am also very sorry for your loss.

Jeanie

At 1:34pm on May 13, 2020, Jeaniegurl said…

thnx so very much.

At 2:07pm on December 25, 2019, Maggiepie said…

Yes, I guess my situation is still very raw. I'm usually down-to-earth but this has knocked me over. Nice to know you're in Riverside. I'm in Pasadena. Maybe, when I'm back to driving, we can meet up. Right now, I know I need to take care of myself. Again, thanks, Melissa.

At 10:08pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Thank you Melissa for the wisdom and encouragement.  It's exactly what I needed at this moment.

Hugs

Sue

At 11:59am on October 26, 2018, riet said…

dear Melissa,

I wanted to send you this message on the 24th of this month.  I knew , this was "the" difficult date for you.  But as always life came between it. 

I just wanted to tell you: I feel with you.  Nothing can ease the pain of this day. I hope you are feeling  a bit better . As well as can be possible. I know even the good moments now are only bleak reflections of the glorious life that once was ours.  

I like to read your posts.  Some of them already helped me through real heavy moments. Thank you for them.

A  big hug to you. Take care 

At 7:16am on October 19, 2018, DIVA70 said…

Hi Melissa...it is comforting to know that someone identifies with the agony I am experiencing. For he most part I try not to share too much with family and friends. But with you and the others on this site I feel I can speak my truth. Someone close to me jokingly said well, youre single now! As if I wanted to be single....I am a WIDOW....big difference in my book. Anyway, thank you for understanding.

At 6:53am on April 6, 2018, Susan said…

Hi Melissa,

   I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.

   I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years.

Susan

At 8:42pm on April 2, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  Thanks for the idea of EMDR.   Regarding your phone call wish...my son texted his dad several times (on Tom's cell which was active for a few months since he had all of his business contacts on it) and I text him on my phone.  Of course, I write him too but the most powerful thing that I did in my grief support group was write him when I was worried about the kids etc. and then have HIM write back.  It was like I was "channeling" him...

At 11:18pm on March 9, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  I don't know if I can do this. In many ways I felt like I was doing better the first year but I think I was in shock.  I put on my "mask" for the people around me.  I had a life and a future to look forward to.  I have friends who care about me but I feel numb and flat.  I want to feel grateful and appreciate the world around me but I really am just faking it.  I can hardly stay awake and i force myself to stay in the moment.  It's hard to understand the purpose of anything.  I know there are people out there who have nothing and I should feel grateful for what I do have but I can't shake this fog I'm in.   

 
 
 

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