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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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  • Female
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Friends

  • TeresaNY
  • Jules
  • Sueg
  • BA7.5
  • Solsticeowl
  • Pualili221
  • Roxi
  • KJPE
  • Simi
  • Ultra2015
  • TP
  • Crabby
  • LandL (Linda)
  • Tekwriter
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Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Linda, I'm glad you came today, too. Thank you."
17 hours ago
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Riet, yesterday was my husband's birthday as well. I didn't think I was going to make it through the day. Ultra, I'm so sorry. Some days all we can do is cry. It terrifies me to think that this is my life now. Just sorrow and…"
21 hours ago
Melissa replied to widowboymom34's discussion Being a new widow in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Hi widowboymom. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you've come to the right place. Personally, I really dislike it when people tell me I'm not alone. "You have us!" Well, no, actually. I don't have you. I don't have…"
Nov 25
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Jules, for me the bathroom things are the hardest to get rid of, even after two years. His razor and toothbrush were okay to go, but we'd just started a jumbo-sized mouthwash bottle. I used about half of it, but then bought a new one for me and…"
Nov 24
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I wish I could hold each of your hands, look you in the eye, and tell you how important you are to me. I couldn't do it without all of you."
Nov 24
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm so sorry, Ultra. I'm there too. I haven't even gotten out of bed for the last week. I'm not doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. I just passed the second year mark. I was doing better for a while, now it all sucks again…"
Nov 23
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Tekwriter, a dear friend of mine lost her only son several years ago. Please message me if you'd like to connect with her. Only someone who has been there knows how you feel. My heart breaks for you. You are never far from my thoughts."
Nov 16
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Big hugs to everybody. We need it! xoxo~"
Nov 14
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I hear you, Tess. I can't imagine ever being in another relationship. I enjoy my work because it keeps my mind off the loneliness. When I do see people, I have to pretend I'm having fun. I've reached the two-year mark and people are…"
Nov 14
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Tekwriter, you may want to go to the ER. I did that after my husband died and they were able to prescribe medication that was very helpful. Please take care of yourself. "
Nov 6
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Tekwriter,  My heart is bleeding for you! Do you have anyone who can be with you?  If you need to talk, if you need to scream until you're hoarse, if I can do anything, please call me. 951-544-1176."
Nov 4
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Excellent, Susan! I've finally figured out that once I'm finished overthinking it and actually go, I'm glad I did! I would love to learn to weave. We used to have a shop in town that sold all the supplies one would need to weave, and…"
Nov 2
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, Lee. On November 6, it will be two years for me. I am amazed at how far I've come in terms of getting through the day, but I know I need to make new friends and get out more. I've survived for two years. It's time to start…"
Nov 2
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"At least we all have each other. I am grateful for that."
Oct 27
Melissa replied to Hope's discussion Little Family? in the group Born in the 50s
"Hi Hope, People who are childless can't understand the bond between children and parents. I think most of us here have children who are adults living their own lives. We did our jobs well, and they are out in the world. My two sons and a…"
Oct 16
Melissa replied to TeresaNY's discussion So Many Unanswered Questions in the group Suddenly Widowed
"TeresaNY, please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband. Your grief is still so new and so fresh; you're still in shock. Do you have friends and family nearby? Someone you can trust to help you make decisions? There is a phenomenon…"
Sep 21

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Melissa's Blog

Home Alone

Posted on April 5, 2018 at 11:22am 12 Comments

Gilbert died five months ago, and I'm beginning to realize that the Old Melissa died with him. Now I have to invent the New Melissa or allow her to surface; I'm not sure how it works.

It's so odd to suddenly not have a routine. I don't have to wear ear buds if I want to listen to music in bed late at night. The dog doesn't mind if it's noisy at 2:00 am. I can eat dinner at three in the afternoon or midnight and nobody cares. I don't have to cook for anybody…


Just One Phone Call

Posted on March 26, 2018 at 7:38pm 18 Comments

Nobody but someone in this situation would understand what I'm about to share. 

I feel crazy, but grief is crazy sometimes. My husband has been dead for almost five months, but I need to call him. I have something important to tell him.

It's related to something in the news that we talked about and followed, and I know he'd really…


Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 10:08pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Thank you Melissa for the wisdom and encouragement.  It's exactly what I needed at this moment.



At 11:59am on October 26, 2018, riet said…

dear Melissa,

I wanted to send you this message on the 24th of this month.  I knew , this was "the" difficult date for you.  But as always life came between it. 

I just wanted to tell you: I feel with you.  Nothing can ease the pain of this day. I hope you are feeling  a bit better . As well as can be possible. I know even the good moments now are only bleak reflections of the glorious life that once was ours.  

I like to read your posts.  Some of them already helped me through real heavy moments. Thank you for them.

A  big hug to you. Take care 

At 7:16am on October 19, 2018, DIVA70 said…

Hi is comforting to know that someone identifies with the agony I am experiencing. For he most part I try not to share too much with family and friends. But with you and the others on this site I feel I can speak my truth. Someone close to me jokingly said well, youre single now! As if I wanted to be single....I am a WIDOW....big difference in my book. Anyway, thank you for understanding.

At 6:53am on April 6, 2018, Susan said…

Hi Melissa,

   I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.

   I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years.


At 8:42pm on April 2, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  Thanks for the idea of EMDR.   Regarding your phone call son texted his dad several times (on Tom's cell which was active for a few months since he had all of his business contacts on it) and I text him on my phone.  Of course, I write him too but the most powerful thing that I did in my grief support group was write him when I was worried about the kids etc. and then have HIM write back.  It was like I was "channeling" him...

At 11:18pm on March 9, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  I don't know if I can do this. In many ways I felt like I was doing better the first year but I think I was in shock.  I put on my "mask" for the people around me.  I had a life and a future to look forward to.  I have friends who care about me but I feel numb and flat.  I want to feel grateful and appreciate the world around me but I really am just faking it.  I can hardly stay awake and i force myself to stay in the moment.  It's hard to understand the purpose of anything.  I know there are people out there who have nothing and I should feel grateful for what I do have but I can't shake this fog I'm in.   

At 10:28pm on March 7, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  The photos of your husband are lovely.  He looks like a kind and gentle soul.  And the dog looks a lot like ours too:) Kindest Regards, Barb (going.on.slowly)

At 10:40am on February 20, 2018, ForeverMourning said…

Hi Melissa,
Thanks for the kind words.  I am so glad I found this site. :)

At 3:22pm on January 17, 2018, Carmen513 said…

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for the add friend. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious soulmate and husband Gilbert.

This whole grief thing is quite surreal. It has been 6 mths since my Bobby left now,and I guess Im coping better, but if Im being honest Im pretty pissed too.

So many times ,day or night I long to talk to him like we used too, and all I hear is my own thoughts or feel an emptiness..

I feel married but flying solo. Bat shit crazy.

Smiles and hugs for miles Melissa, You and Gilbert are in my thoughts x

At 7:24pm on January 14, 2018, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, Melissa. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here.

Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum Discussions and Chat Room for conversations on all sorts of topics. Share your story. You'll find the latest news on the HOME page.


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