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Melissa
  • Female
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Friends

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Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa replied to Jules's discussion This is so hard in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Oh, Jules! I'm so terribly, terribly sorry. Throughout a marriage, one spouse or the other feels crappy dozens of times and it passes. The circumstances would be exactly as you described your husband's last day, except everything would be…"
yesterday
Sueg left a comment for Melissa
"Thank you Melissa for the wisdom and encouragement.  It's exactly what I needed at this moment. Hugs Sue"
Sep 12
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Sueg, I'm so sorry. Your grief is so new and so raw! Nothing will ever be harder than this time, right now. You're in the hardest time. I'm in the second year, and it's harder in the sense that you are able to think again, and…"
Sep 12
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Hi Suzan, After Gilbert died, I spent months reading every grief book I could find. They are all in my Kindle, so I know exactly where to find them in a grief emergency. I found most very helpful, although some annoyed me a little (the…"
Sep 8
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, Mary! Hugs!"
Sep 7
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, Mary and Shelley. The realtor is looking in the area, and I'm betting on a price reduction. It felt good to take that step, and it made me aware that I really do want to leave this house and this town. It's only about 20 miles…"
Sep 7
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Hi Mary! Thank you for asking. I did go look at the house. It was exactly what I wanted in exactly the neighborhood I wanted. I'd be a block away from my cousin and two blocks away from my sister. It was in an area I knew and…"
Sep 7
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Shelley, I'm meeting with the realtor tomorrow to look at the house. My therapist thought it was a really good idea for me to get back to my "roots". You and I seem to be on the same page quite often. It would be great if we had the…"
Aug 30
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Linda, I have generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I know how that feels. I also know how it feels when your family falls apart when you need them most. Everyone here understands, and we're here for you. Please come back and tell us…"
Aug 29
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you all. I'm a wreck coming up on this second anniversary.  Mary, I am going to send an email to the realtor and see if there's something we can do. Thank you, Susan and Tess. Moving would give me a purpose; a job. Something to…"
Aug 28
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm an INFJ too, John. Thank you for that information, Tess. I'm an HSP, so double whammy indeed. For some reason, I never thought those things would affect how I grieve. Duh. I found the cutest little house in my hometown that I would…"
Aug 27
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Frank, that's such a beautiful idea! I've been quite weepy because I'm coming up on the second anniversary of my husband's passing, and I am going to borrow your idea of going through the wedding photos and talking about…"
Aug 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"John, I didn't know that about the way we grieve. I will look that up. Thanks again."
Aug 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, John. I am an introvert by nature, and more so now that I'm alone. Thanks too for the Froot Loops info! :-D"
Aug 26
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, Suzan! Sending a big hug back to you. :-)"
Aug 25
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Thank you, riet. I gave it a try, but I live in Los Angeles and we were stuck in traffic for such a long time we missed the event. I completely ran out of conversation, so we just listened to the car radio until we got home. I immediately went to…"
Aug 24

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Melissa's Blog

Home Alone

Posted on April 5, 2018 at 11:22am 12 Comments

Gilbert died five months ago, and I'm beginning to realize that the Old Melissa died with him. Now I have to invent the New Melissa or allow her to surface; I'm not sure how it works.

It's so odd to suddenly not have a routine. I don't have to wear ear buds if I want to listen to music in bed late at night. The dog doesn't mind if it's noisy at 2:00 am. I can eat dinner at three in the afternoon or midnight and nobody cares. I don't have to cook for anybody…

Continue

Just One Phone Call

Posted on March 26, 2018 at 7:38pm 18 Comments

Nobody but someone in this situation would understand what I'm about to share. 

I feel crazy, but grief is crazy sometimes. My husband has been dead for almost five months, but I need to call him. I have something important to tell him.

It's related to something in the news that we talked about and followed, and I know he'd really…

Continue

Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 10:08pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Thank you Melissa for the wisdom and encouragement.  It's exactly what I needed at this moment.

Hugs

Sue

At 11:59am on October 26, 2018, riet said…

dear Melissa,

I wanted to send you this message on the 24th of this month.  I knew , this was "the" difficult date for you.  But as always life came between it. 

I just wanted to tell you: I feel with you.  Nothing can ease the pain of this day. I hope you are feeling  a bit better . As well as can be possible. I know even the good moments now are only bleak reflections of the glorious life that once was ours.  

I like to read your posts.  Some of them already helped me through real heavy moments. Thank you for them.

A  big hug to you. Take care 

At 7:16am on October 19, 2018, DIVA70 said…

Hi Melissa...it is comforting to know that someone identifies with the agony I am experiencing. For he most part I try not to share too much with family and friends. But with you and the others on this site I feel I can speak my truth. Someone close to me jokingly said well, youre single now! As if I wanted to be single....I am a WIDOW....big difference in my book. Anyway, thank you for understanding.

At 6:53am on April 6, 2018, Susan said…

Hi Melissa,

   I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.

   I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years.

Susan

At 8:42pm on April 2, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  Thanks for the idea of EMDR.   Regarding your phone call wish...my son texted his dad several times (on Tom's cell which was active for a few months since he had all of his business contacts on it) and I text him on my phone.  Of course, I write him too but the most powerful thing that I did in my grief support group was write him when I was worried about the kids etc. and then have HIM write back.  It was like I was "channeling" him...

At 11:18pm on March 9, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  I don't know if I can do this. In many ways I felt like I was doing better the first year but I think I was in shock.  I put on my "mask" for the people around me.  I had a life and a future to look forward to.  I have friends who care about me but I feel numb and flat.  I want to feel grateful and appreciate the world around me but I really am just faking it.  I can hardly stay awake and i force myself to stay in the moment.  It's hard to understand the purpose of anything.  I know there are people out there who have nothing and I should feel grateful for what I do have but I can't shake this fog I'm in.   

At 10:28pm on March 7, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  The photos of your husband are lovely.  He looks like a kind and gentle soul.  And the dog looks a lot like ours too:) Kindest Regards, Barb (going.on.slowly)

At 10:40am on February 20, 2018, ForeverMourning said…

Hi Melissa,
Thanks for the kind words.  I am so glad I found this site. :)

At 3:22pm on January 17, 2018, Carmen513 said…

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for the add friend. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious soulmate and husband Gilbert.

This whole grief thing is quite surreal. It has been 6 mths since my Bobby left now,and I guess Im coping better, but if Im being honest Im pretty pissed too.

So many times ,day or night I long to talk to him like we used too, and all I hear is my own thoughts or feel an emptiness..

I feel married but flying solo. Bat shit crazy.

Smiles and hugs for miles Melissa, You and Gilbert are in my thoughts x

At 7:24pm on January 14, 2018, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, Melissa. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here.

Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum Discussions and Chat Room for conversations on all sorts of topics. Share your story. You'll find the latest news on the HOME page.

 
 
 

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