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Melissa
  • Female
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Friends

  • Maggiepie
  • widowboymom34
  • TeresaNY
  • Jules
  • Sueg
  • BA7.5
  • Solsticeowl
  • Pualili221
  • Roxi
  • KJPE
  • Simi
  • Ultra2015
  • TP
  • Crabby
  • LandL (Linda)
 

Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Shelley, you need someone to vent to, at least. I would contact your cancer treatment center and ask about a therapist with experience in grief and dealing with cancer. You need all the resources you can get. If you really connected with your…"
Saturday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm so sorry, Ultra. I get something in the mail several times a week for Gilbert. Obviously, I did not renew his subscription to the New Yorker. A little card came addressed to him from the magazine saying WE MISS YOU! and asking him to renew.…"
Jan 16
Maggiepie left a comment for Melissa
"Yes, I guess my situation is still very raw. I'm usually down-to-earth but this has knocked me over. Nice to know you're in Riverside. I'm in Pasadena. Maybe, when I'm back to driving, we can meet up. Right now, I know I need to…"
Dec 25, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Maggiepie, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. You're still in shock. Your loss is so recent. Don't do anything you don't have to do for a while. You are going to misplace things. It's called "widow brain".…"
Dec 25, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"My heart breaks for all of us."
Dec 24, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"You make me smile, John. Thank you. "
Dec 23, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm with you, Barzan and DIVA70. Love to you all."
Dec 22, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Let's stick together, my friends. I know we're here for each other, this little family we've created here. If there is anything to be grateful for in this nightmare, it's that I've met all of you. We can get through the next…"
Dec 19, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Tekwriter, thank you for sharing this beautiful photo of you and your son. You have the same sweet smile. I think of you multiple times a day, wondering how you're doing and trying to send you strength. Shelley, I had to have one of our dogs…"
Dec 18, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"My heart is with you, Tekwriter."
Dec 15, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Linda, I'm glad you came today, too. Thank you."
Dec 14, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Riet, yesterday was my husband's birthday as well. I didn't think I was going to make it through the day. Ultra, I'm so sorry. Some days all we can do is cry. It terrifies me to think that this is my life now. Just sorrow and…"
Dec 14, 2019
Melissa replied to widowboymom34's discussion Being a new widow in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Hi widowboymom. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you've come to the right place. Personally, I really dislike it when people tell me I'm not alone. "You have us!" Well, no, actually. I don't have you. I don't have…"
Nov 25, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Jules, for me the bathroom things are the hardest to get rid of, even after two years. His razor and toothbrush were okay to go, but we'd just started a jumbo-sized mouthwash bottle. I used about half of it, but then bought a new one for me and…"
Nov 24, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I wish I could hold each of your hands, look you in the eye, and tell you how important you are to me. I couldn't do it without all of you."
Nov 24, 2019
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I'm so sorry, Ultra. I'm there too. I haven't even gotten out of bed for the last week. I'm not doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. I just passed the second year mark. I was doing better for a while, now it all sucks again…"
Nov 23, 2019

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Melissa's Blog

Home Alone

Posted on April 5, 2018 at 11:22am 12 Comments

Gilbert died five months ago, and I'm beginning to realize that the Old Melissa died with him. Now I have to invent the New Melissa or allow her to surface; I'm not sure how it works.

It's so odd to suddenly not have a routine. I don't have to wear ear buds if I want to listen to music in bed late at night. The dog doesn't mind if it's noisy at 2:00 am. I can eat dinner at three in the afternoon or midnight and nobody cares. I don't have to cook for anybody…

Continue

Just One Phone Call

Posted on March 26, 2018 at 7:38pm 18 Comments

Nobody but someone in this situation would understand what I'm about to share. 

I feel crazy, but grief is crazy sometimes. My husband has been dead for almost five months, but I need to call him. I have something important to tell him.

It's related to something in the news that we talked about and followed, and I know he'd really…

Continue

Comment Wall (11 comments)

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At 2:07pm on December 25, 2019, Maggiepie said…

Yes, I guess my situation is still very raw. I'm usually down-to-earth but this has knocked me over. Nice to know you're in Riverside. I'm in Pasadena. Maybe, when I'm back to driving, we can meet up. Right now, I know I need to take care of myself. Again, thanks, Melissa.

At 10:08pm on September 12, 2019, Sueg said…

Thank you Melissa for the wisdom and encouragement.  It's exactly what I needed at this moment.

Hugs

Sue

At 11:59am on October 26, 2018, riet said…

dear Melissa,

I wanted to send you this message on the 24th of this month.  I knew , this was "the" difficult date for you.  But as always life came between it. 

I just wanted to tell you: I feel with you.  Nothing can ease the pain of this day. I hope you are feeling  a bit better . As well as can be possible. I know even the good moments now are only bleak reflections of the glorious life that once was ours.  

I like to read your posts.  Some of them already helped me through real heavy moments. Thank you for them.

A  big hug to you. Take care 

At 7:16am on October 19, 2018, DIVA70 said…

Hi Melissa...it is comforting to know that someone identifies with the agony I am experiencing. For he most part I try not to share too much with family and friends. But with you and the others on this site I feel I can speak my truth. Someone close to me jokingly said well, youre single now! As if I wanted to be single....I am a WIDOW....big difference in my book. Anyway, thank you for understanding.

At 6:53am on April 6, 2018, Susan said…

Hi Melissa,

   I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.

   I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years.

Susan

At 8:42pm on April 2, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  Thanks for the idea of EMDR.   Regarding your phone call wish...my son texted his dad several times (on Tom's cell which was active for a few months since he had all of his business contacts on it) and I text him on my phone.  Of course, I write him too but the most powerful thing that I did in my grief support group was write him when I was worried about the kids etc. and then have HIM write back.  It was like I was "channeling" him...

At 11:18pm on March 9, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  I don't know if I can do this. In many ways I felt like I was doing better the first year but I think I was in shock.  I put on my "mask" for the people around me.  I had a life and a future to look forward to.  I have friends who care about me but I feel numb and flat.  I want to feel grateful and appreciate the world around me but I really am just faking it.  I can hardly stay awake and i force myself to stay in the moment.  It's hard to understand the purpose of anything.  I know there are people out there who have nothing and I should feel grateful for what I do have but I can't shake this fog I'm in.   

At 10:28pm on March 7, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  The photos of your husband are lovely.  He looks like a kind and gentle soul.  And the dog looks a lot like ours too:) Kindest Regards, Barb (going.on.slowly)

At 10:40am on February 20, 2018, ForeverMourning said…

Hi Melissa,
Thanks for the kind words.  I am so glad I found this site. :)

At 3:22pm on January 17, 2018, Carmen513 said…

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for the add friend. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious soulmate and husband Gilbert.

This whole grief thing is quite surreal. It has been 6 mths since my Bobby left now,and I guess Im coping better, but if Im being honest Im pretty pissed too.

So many times ,day or night I long to talk to him like we used too, and all I hear is my own thoughts or feel an emptiness..

I feel married but flying solo. Bat shit crazy.

Smiles and hugs for miles Melissa, You and Gilbert are in my thoughts x

 
 
 

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